To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

[GunpowderGelatine]

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

Oh come on!!... are some people really saying that stealth boasts don’t exist? - its either people genuinely peeved about something (“lol - when you accidentally spill your drink over yourself!” And there happens to be a perfectly placed bottle of Cristal standing over a folded sweater with a 100% cashmere label showing etc...) or that they don’t understand the concept of a stealth boast at all? - it’s not when someone expresses genuine pride about something ffs!
I recently saw a post which read “Oh to have my dining table back again - sigh” The attached (pre-Xmas) pic was of a table completely covered in Christmas presents, all beautifully wrapped and obviously presented in a contrived way for the benefit of the photo. If the poster had simply put “Well I’m bloody proud of myself - my gift wrapping this year ain’t half bad” I would have had so much more respect for them!

A former acquaintance " Do you think my baby sleeps too much? He goes down ar 6pm and gets up and 7am, then he has a 2 hour nap in the day. Maybe I'm just lucky"

Translation "look at what a wonderful parent I and how good my baby is and I am better than you".

I actually do think that is sleeping way too much and the kid was so enormous he looked like his skin would burst, so I would have had him down the doctors.

“Boy did good” pics with the branded cardboard bag and gifts meticulously placed in front of them. Stealth bosting to followers who do not know them that well as said “boy” is a grade a douche.

Thanks for all the reports, everyone - we're going to take the thread down while we look into it all.

Eh? What is there to look ok into?

@SophieLmumsnet what on earth is wrong with the thread?
PBP?

SORRY! Wrong thread - too many tabs open/too many mince pies. Carry on!

Didn’t take long for someone to slag off parents of an only child who could afford to buy their only child a few more pressies cos they were an only child! I’ll take that as a stealth boast they don’t suffer secondary infertility!

@SophieLMumsnet

@fluffyears if it’s the same Derek I’m dreading when he goes semi retired in the new year 😂😂. More lobster red pictures of his coupon on FB 😂😂

My friend uploaded a photo of her sparkly new Range Rover from many angles & tagged the car cleaners thanking them for doing an amazing job & saying she would highly recommend #stealthboast

I have many friends who live in Dubai as I used to live there myself (for nine years). I have had to unfollow them all on social media cause it’s too much. Boast after boast after boast. I didn’t notice it when I lived there. Probably cause I had that life too. Now I can’t look at it cause a) I’m jealous and b) I find the boasting unbearable and I hope I was never that way.

had a similar experience with a friend 'oh it's going to take me so long to work out all the new controls on my new car'...

Seriously? why would you take the time and trouble to photograph your dashboard, and write this online?
Everybody I know thought the same thing - it's a stupid boast.

My husband showed me a post on his FB recently of a woman he grew up with - she’d posted a pic of her lower legs & shoes with the comment ‘would recommend Valentino Rockstuds - they’re so much more comfortable than Louboutins’ (translation: I can afford LOTS of designer shoes). Her Designer bag was also in the pic... So we scrolled through her newsfeed - lots of posts of the same ilk. ‘It’s so nice to come across an old forgotten friend in the wardrobe’ (pic of Chanel Bag). ‘Devastating when your designer dress arrives and it’s not the colour you thought’ (GUCCI label seen on the hanger)

Guilty of the graduation thing... but I never posted her result. Just a pic of her looking really happy. She worked hard & it’s her achievement- not mine. ❤️

I've an old school acquaintance who I didn't much get on with back as teens (no hate, just hung in completely different circles) and I was surprised to get a FB friend request from him years back.

I soon realised he'd added a load of us from school, purely to show off that he's a successful entrepreneur now.

He often posts videos and images that are blatant boasts, but it's the stealth ones that made me roll my eyes and chuckle. Such as:

Checking in at the local hand car wash, with a photo saying what hard work the guys all do there, photo of course showed his gleaming £75k car.

Another one, a video of how bad the snow was (yes, we know, we live in the same town), but in fact what the video was showing was how long the private driveway to his huge house is.

The best one, a video showing us his new dog playing outside his house, he's chucking it's ball and sort of going slowly 360 degrees during play time in the video. This ensures we saw the vast manicured land, the big house and his open garage with three fancy cars lined up and glinting!

He's a nice bloke. He's done well for himself and anyone would be proud. But the stealth boasts bloody crack me up.

First day on my own after the staff left for their days off, and I managed to create a foam party trying to put on a washing.

Not even remotely stealth boast: I'm rich enough to have staff (this was in a country where staff are paid slave labour wages but never mind)

i know a few stealth boasters myself that are otherwise lovely people in real life. I put it down to general insecurity and social media does strange things to folk. Im not jealous of them or riled by their posts I just inwardly cringe for them.
I guess some examples on here are gonna come down to how much you like someone and your own insecurities, especially that last one about the sleeping baby.
But the thread is funny to those who understand a stealth boast and maybe not so much for people that just don’t.

@babyno5 the fact that you said ‘coupon’ means you May be Scottish? Oh god you’re not from a town near Glasgow with two words as the name?

Social media would be so completely dull if people didn’t show off.

I don’t consider most if this to be stealth boasting though just full on boasting and so they should!

One guy on my friend list used to manage to incorporate slagging off everyone he grew up with and his entire family back home into his 'stealth' boasting. He'd set off travelling gap-year style but a bit later on in life, then extended his trip and ended up getting a job in Australia did a while. Every photo of a view would be like, 'this is what I'm waking up to. Can't understand small town folk who never go anywhere', 'this is the life. Makes me sad when I visit back home and see people living the same dull lives they were last time I dropped in', 'ahhh suck on this folks, I bet it's raining where you are!' It was like he thought he was the first person ever to have left the city 😂 not like the majority of his fb friends have secure jobs, children and roots or anything.

Not many stealth boasters in my feed but plenty of "look at this amazing thing I did for charity" if you want to advertise a cause and ask people to help out fine! Don't just tell everyone how good a person you are.

We have a friend who worked hard at university and now has a really well paid job abroad. He often posts pics if him and his family doing amazing things, but he's so lovely and deserves it.

I only post abroad ( a few times a year ) and check in nice places. Post only “perfect” pics and never update my status with actual words.

What I have gained from this is absolutely nothing. Honestly I feel Empty inside and as though I am constantly chasing my own “happiness” from one “perfect” fake post to the next.

I’ve actually missed the fun and experiences by doing this.

However let’s be real whilst we are all anonymous, nobody posts the real stuff because why would we want to.

Why post I’m depressed at work when I can post the perfect holiday snaps.
Why post my relationship is shit when I can post how perfect it is.
Why post my selfie in front of the messy side of the house.

You get what I’m saying ... nobody cares one way or another everyone’s self absorbed, society is done for. Good luck new generates. Welcome to the land of shit.

IchWill why don't you just unfriend?