To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

[GunpowderGelatine]

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

Never have this problem. I only have about 30 friends and family on my account and none of them can afford designer stuff so maybe that’s why

Has made me paranoid about the album I have on doing up my house. Lots of before pictures and slowly over the years added the after pictures. Most people seem really happy to see the progress but I guess there will be someone who thinks I am bragging. I suppose I am, worked hard to improve the house and did a lot of work ourselves. Very proud!

Hmm not bothered by what though? Even if it doesn't bother you, you've obviously still noticed it to be "not bothered" by it

By what other people post. Or rather, keeping people who irritate me on my timeline for a jolly good laugh at them. It just seems rather unkind to me!

I really enjoy looking through my social media

Not a stealth boast but more a munchausen one! Friend with ASD DS..... Photo of kid with hand in ice cream..."I don't think so DS, ice cream is not for breakfast!!" Failed as child is strapped into booster seat so unable to get out for ice cream!!!

ASD drama mum!!!

Isn't all sm one big stealth boast? Because people only show their best bits....

My prep school drummed it into me that boasting & bragging is distasteful 😘

I also say 'my team' a lot. I guess I'm a dick, or I just dont want to say the long name of the team in every bloody team meetings I attend.

'It's a Hunter's wellies kind of day'......... posted by someone who had obviously bought her kid a pair and wanted to show them off. Not just any kind of wellies day. A Hunters Wellies kind of day.

I mean......they're wellies ffs.

Shit wellies too. Mine broke after about a week if using them at the stables. Dunlop are better for standard wellies. I wouldn't be proud owning hunters.

misses point entirely

Lol canigetaliein
I need more of these people on my Facebook. My friends are on the whole boringly normal. And I have people who post when they or their children achiever something or are on beautiful holidays and that's fine. Not stealth boasting at all.

I've got an old friend who boasts on social media, but she completely owns it, which I rather grudgingly admire. There is nothing humble about her bragging at all. Particular highlights have been a photo of a £4K bracelet, captioned, "just picked this up whilst waiting for a flight. Bloody lovely isn't it? I deserve it too" and photo of her luxury car and personalised plate with the caption, "yeah, it's tacky as fuck, but who cares? Love it".

But I've just been on a thread where the op was saying she didn't like Molton brown (fair enough, she genuinely didn't like the scent) and I was just counting down the seconds until someone came on to say it was cheap shit and they would only wash with

Omg it's soooo hard to actually gain weight hahahahaha

Well as a fatty who is trying to lose, I do get that other people have different problems and tjay is a genuine issue for some. Just because it's a problem I'd love to have doesn't mean it's not genuine.
Ok "my wallet is splitting from all these 50s" can't ever be genuine :o

I was thinking that today Blanche, people aren't sure if a certain colour of lipstick, for example, suits them. So they put up 5 or 6 photos of themselves in different, full length, poses

We won the hamper but will be giving it to homeless charity

I read "We had so much leftover food after our works Christmas party that we decided to go out and give it to the homeless".

My (un-posted) reaction? "What is leftover food?"

I literally have no friends who are like this so I suppose I'm boasting! #blessed

tbh StealthPolarBear I only have one relative who does this but years ago I used to handle the social media for a small company & people post so much shite.

I love AIBU for exactly the reason you mention;
“AIBU to have given DH a bigger portion of salmon?” If I was served salmon on a roast day I would have been very disappointed.

“AIBU to not know what a penisbeaker is?” wtf is a beaker? We say glass in our house.

"Fortnums have let me down AGAIN ☹"

(failed to deliver the food hamper on time, apparently).

Actually to be fair I don't think this was intended as a stealth boast - this woman is lovely but has quite a rarified lifestyle and it genuinely doesn't occur to her that other people might not be ordering their picnic from Fortnums. Still gave me a bit of a laugh, though.

Comparison is the thief of joy...

I’m not on Facebook or Instagram, but there does seems to be a trend in social media for posts like -

“Here’s a shout out for xxx personal stylist at my favourite boutique. I don’t even have to try things on / she’s sooo talented...”

Basically it’s an excuse to show how great / thin / gorgeous you think you look in your latest outfits, under the guise of complimenting someone else

Or similarly - “Great facilities and thanks to the staff at xxx gym...” Cue pictures of finely toned abs from just the right angle.

Why don’t they just say - “I’ve lost weight / been working out / love my new outfit, etc rather than pretending to be promoting someone else?

Pa10ma because when people say they’ve lost weight they still get told their boasting.

They’re **

C00lio ; reminds me of The Good Life, when Margo has Christmas delivered in a van.

I always wanted to be Margo when I was a kid, actually... couldn't work out why she was supposed to be so laughable. Margo had it SORTED in my opinion!

Paraphrasing but a family member put "back from exotic holiday, something went wrong with having my entire house decorated by a tradesman. Then had to fix something at my holiday home but lost a piece of jewellery while I was there"
They only missed out their luxury car! Try harder

C00lio I love Margot. She cracks me but i do love her style.