To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

[GunpowderGelatine]

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

I'm pretty sure I'm not a massive dick, but I say my team. I hired and trained the team and it's my job to have their backs and support them. They seem to appreciate that.

Just remembered a few yrs ago the relative I mentioned had a mole removed or similar. She uploaded a pic & hashtagged bupa! 😆

When DD graduates there's going to be no stealth about my boasting , I'm going full on bragging.
Someone I know used to sell Juice Plus, she always had posts up along the lines of "just dropped the kids off , now time for a quick coffee before back home for some networking #bosswoman.
This was always accompanied by the pic of her holding a Starbucks coffee in one hand whilst resting it on the Audi steering wheel and her LV or Gucci purse in the background.
She's back at work with me now and these type of posts have mysteriously stopped 🤔

People who show you a photo of the dashboard of their car to show the temperature is cold or something but have made sure to lean back enough so that the car badge on steering wheel shows

I think the problem is the misunderstanding of stealth boast.

Reading these posts while resting as absolutely exhausted after 3 days of visitors. Edwin and I are only too happy to entertain as no one else has enough guest rooms but unfortunately we had to do some clearing up ourselves as the staff get the Christmas period off. Leaving shortly for one of our holiday homes. Thank goodness Henry will be back in time to drive the Bentley.

People who show you a photo of the dashboard of their car to show the temperature is cold or something but have made sure to lean back enough so that the car badge on steering wheel shows grin

Oh, I've done that but it's either been my Nissan or Skoda so think I might have got away with it! :o

Not intentionally leaned back btw - but sure i might get the steering wheel in.

The friend with the "stressful" porsche is in so much debt, as in almost being declared bankrupt. She and her husband are so obsessed with being seen to live the perfect life, living in a beautiful house in the right village, kids attending the right school, driving the right cars.......all on Sm and all on credit.

Why on earth would I be envious of that?

Bahaha I don’t think my car even has a temp on the dashboard it’s my lovely battered 10 year old Honda jazz. It was my Mum’s and I bloody love it.

Sorry guys stopped for a bit of lunch, just a few leftovers from Christmas

We got our second Alexa in the sales before Christmas for £20 so sounds like a rubbish stealth boast. I'm just excited I can use the intercom to call dd1 without yelling up the stairs.

I never understand people who say the car type instead of car but then I'm not really into cars so it goes a bit over my head.

Need to lie down now, so bloated. Diet starts tmw.

I'm getting immune to all the #eeeek, #boy done good, #spoiltrotten pics of something rose gold, Pandora or ugg. I cringe but its harmless. I get the impression hubz has been told exactly what to get and to keep the branded bag for photo opps.

I googled footbridge in case it was some new social media term I hadn’t heard of

@SerenDippitty so did I

So fat and unfit after Christmas
#fml

you lot need to get a life and stay off social media if you don't like seeing other people's happiness.

It isn't 'happiness' though, if it were a blunt "omg! i'm thrilled with my XYZ" then you'd be a dick for throwing shade on their sunshine.
The above examples though are just people boasting and being so egotistical that they word their posts in such a way to basically gloat and blow their own trumpet - and want you to know about it.

I feel sorry for people when they do that, just how insecure and needy they must feel to play that game.

50 Christmas cards and three Alexis isn’t the most popular thing ever

I have a friend who is a Juice Plus bot, but also has vertigo amd a couple of other illnesses. Her posts alternate between: bragging about how much money she makes putting through orders from home/networking/coming up with business ideas #bosswoman, complaining about how ill her conditions make her #vertigolife to how much of a miracle cure her stupidly expensive vitamin tablets are #healthy girl #lyb. I often wonder how the miracle cure manages to stop and start working on her ailments.

I like straightforward bragging. When someone posts that they've got the job of their dreams, after being shortlisted for interview from 50 candidates, I am delighted for them. When someone posts the glorious view from the balcony of their holiday apartment, it makes me happy. A photograph of a smiling baby surrounded by toys and wrapping paper is lovely to see.

Stealthboasting seems designed to make other people feel inadequate and inferior.

Must dash, I need to get the Lamborghini serviced otherwise I'll be driving to work where I am CEO earning over £150000 a month in the the clapped out Ferrari #theshame

When I was on Facebook, I used to feel a bit sad for the women on a certain style and beauty group feeling the need to post a long self-deprecating ramble before photos, e.g, 'I'm a mother of three of a certain age, I was hesitant about posting these as I'm really self conscious and insecure and on a diet, am half way there. Just needed some thoughts on these outfits for a night out:' followed by a dozen photos of themselves wearing skimpy bedroom attire and close ups of professionally made up face! Why not just say 'I'm feeling smokin' hot today, rarely get time to myself so have made the most of it and I'm proud of my working out, I finally feel good!'? People should boast more.

And a friend used to post a photo of her son stood in front of anything new she'd had done around the house, like wallpapering, fireplace, new sideboard. Why not stop using the kid as a prop, and say 'feeling so chuffed about my new fireplace! Love it'?

I like straightforward bragging

Me too! SB is designed to make others feel bad. Totally.

I love to see happy things though.

Thank god I don’t have social media but some of these are hilarious!

But yeah, one has to be “guilty” to disagree, rather than - you know - just not be bothered

Hmm not bothered by what though? Even if it doesn't bother you, you've obviously still noticed it to be "not bothered" by it 😉