Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

DH cuddling and kissing his DM

154 replies

Lellikelly26 · 26/12/2018 08:03

Yesterday my DH was sat on the sofa with his DM cuddling her and kissing her on the head. this has made me feel a bit sick and has put me off him. I’m all for affection but sitting on the sofa cuddling your mum all afternoon is surely a bit much.

OP posts:

Fairylightfurore · 26/12/2018 11:51

I think your reaction says a lot more about you than him!

EKGEMS · 26/12/2018 11:52

Henrysmycat Your post should be reported it's so full of hate towards the OP

crispysausagerolls · 26/12/2018 11:54

Henrysmycat Your post should be reported it's so full of hate towards the OP

I assume this is what happened to my post - didn’t realise we aren’t allowed to have an opinion.

Pinotwoman82 · 26/12/2018 12:03

You overlooked the fact that they held hands when his father died??? Are you for real?? You are the reason I fear for the future having 3 sons

Shimy · 26/12/2018 12:08

MotherofDinosaurs That’s quite a vivid imagination you’ve got there 😂😂😂😂 i’ll Keep that one for future reference.

Lizzie48 · 26/12/2018 12:09

I would find it a bit much myself, I admit, but that's my issue, as I'm a survivor of childhood SA at the hands of my F and others, as is my DSis. I don't find cuddles easy to cope with for that reason and I keep my DM at arm's length.

But the OP saying that she overlooked her DH holding his DM's hand when his DF had just died was a very strange thing to say, and very controlling. They had lost someone who was very precious to both of them, so of course they would want to support each other at that time.

Singingtherapy · 26/12/2018 12:11

do you think the H fancies his mother
No, not at all. Not all weird things are wrong or sinister. Some things are perfectly harmless but still weird. And two adult family members acting like a couple on the sofa is one of them.

PortiaCastis · 26/12/2018 12:13

Be careful luvvie because with your attitude you'll be overlooked by your dh for a more compassionate person in the near future, you reap what you sow and you'll be out in the cold with no friends

EKGEMS · 26/12/2018 12:14

Crispysaysagerolls there's expressing an opinion and there's pure vitriol

InsomniacAnonymous · 26/12/2018 12:15

Bering affectionate is one thing, but spending the afternoon kissing and cuddling on the sofa is a bit much surely?

MissWilmottsGhost · 26/12/2018 12:18

Of course any physical contact from a man is sexual, isn't it. All men think about sex all the time and could never touch a female, even their own mother, except in a sexual way.

B1t2Indy · 26/12/2018 12:19

Is this your MIL's first Christmas without her husband? If so what you describe makes a lot of sense.

MissWilmottsGhost · 26/12/2018 12:25

OP said he put his arm around her and kissed her on the head, then described that as "kissing and cuddling" like they were making out

I came from a family where there was no physical contact between parent and child except smacking but even I can cope with the fact that, in other families, a mum and son can have a cuddle.

It's called love FFS. Good for them.

Moussemoose · 26/12/2018 12:27

Women want men who are affectionate and loving. A man who can show and share his emotions. A man comfortable with emotional language spoken and physical.

And yet some women want these emotionally open men to come from homes where they are not shown any overt emotion from the age of 8. Boys who love their mums are cissy and soft they are controlled by their battle-axe mothers or there is some weird sexual overtone.

Men who struggle with emotions and can't express them or show them are significantly more likely to commit suicide, it is a tragedy for young men in this country.

OP why didn't you find some emotionally constipated man who will treat you like shit and leave this well adjusted young man to someone who can appreciate him.

Hazardswan · 26/12/2018 12:28

Can we contact OP's husband and say there's red flags in this marriage and he needs to run for the hills? OP sounds controlling

InsomniacAnonymous · 26/12/2018 12:28

MissWilmottsGhost The OP said that the kissing and cuddling was all afternoon.

Crudd · 26/12/2018 12:29

When his DF passed away he drove along in the car holding hands with her, which I overlooked at the time.

Possibly the cuntiest post I've read on here.

MissWilmottsGhost · 26/12/2018 12:30

But the bit about him holding hands with his mum after his dad passed? The fact you thought This is an issue is sad and quite frankly makes you the strange one

Indeed.

And it makes me believe that "kissing and cuddling" is rather an exaggeration of their behaviour.

MissWilmottsGhost · 26/12/2018 12:34

Agree moussemoose

Badcat666 · 26/12/2018 12:44

Fucking hell OP. What is wrong with you?

I would KILL to have my mum back so I could sit with her and cuddle with her and kiss her silly head all afternoon on the sofa just one last time.

When my mum died I held BOTH my brothers hands in the car on the way home from the hospice. I also spent the weekend with my baby brother on his sofa snuggled under a blanket my mum had knitted for him [the last things she ever managed to finish before she died] stroking his forehead [which my mum used to do to get him to sleep when he was little] to try and get him to sleep. He hadn't slept for 3 days as we were in the hospice watching our beloved mum die.

At the time we were both in our 20's. Would you think we were being sexual just because we cuddled on the sofa one weekend and held hands in the car???

YOU seem to have some twisted notion on associating any form of affection or act of love with a sexual act. Get some help sweetheart

clockworklime · 26/12/2018 12:52

Are they using tongues?

FestiveLemur · 26/12/2018 12:53

OP sorry, I think it's your issue.

I come from the least tactile, affectionate family ever, and I'll admit that seeing DH's affectionate behaviour with his family weird and icky to me, but I know that is my issue, not his.

I could never judge him for it. Not his fault that his family express healthy affection and that mine do not.

(I'm not saying that your family are unhealthy, I'm just using my dysfunctional one as the only example I know )

Moussemoose · 26/12/2018 12:54

@Badcat666 that made me cry. What a kind sister you are to your baby brother.

ILoveChristmasLights · 26/12/2018 12:59

Well, I’m an incredibly tactile person. Stand still and you’ll get hugged 🤗

However, ‘cuddling all afternoon on the sofa and continually kissing her’ does sound odd.

Singingtherapy · 26/12/2018 13:06

*I’m an incredibly tactile person. Stand still and you’ll get hugged 🤗

However, ‘cuddling all afternoon on the sofa and continually kissing her’ does sound odd*

Exactly. I'm sure people are deliberarely not understanding the difference

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7