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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH cuddling and kissing his DM

154 replies

Lellikelly26 · 26/12/2018 08:03

Yesterday my DH was sat on the sofa with his DM cuddling her and kissing her on the head. this has made me feel a bit sick and has put me off him. I’m all for affection but sitting on the sofa cuddling your mum all afternoon is surely a bit much.

OP posts:
MotherofDinosaurs · 26/12/2018 10:34

Shimy I'm picturing a pinched, peaky face etched with lines of bitter dissatisfaction from a lifetime of having a completely inappropriate view of affection and also from being dead inside 😂

mammmamia · 26/12/2018 10:34

You’re weird
Yesterday at the end of the day at my parents house my sister (aged 39, 2 DC of her own) was sitting on the sofa next to my dad having a cuddle. My dad has had a stroke and is fragile, I thought it was lovely to see.

Coolaschmoola · 26/12/2018 10:35

I'd give ANYTHING to be able to cuddle on the sofa with my mum...

YABU - and very fucking weird.

Holding her hand when her husband/his dad died is a beautiful, loving, supportive and KIND thing that they will BOTH have gained comfort and strength from, and you think it's something you had to manage to "overlook"?!

WTF is wrong with you? I pity you.

NorthEndGal · 26/12/2018 10:35

Cuddles are nice
I think you should talk to him though, if you are actually that bothered

Moussemoose · 26/12/2018 10:37

That's the behaviour you would do with a parent, because you come from an affection starved, weird family where showing how much you love each other by cuddling is frowned upon.

Those of us who want sons who are able to express and receive affection and relate normally to people don't think it is strange.

Sweetheart1313 · 26/12/2018 10:40

Nothing wrong with it at all. I was sat cuddled up to my mum on the sofa yesterday and I’m in my 30s! I also used to sit and hold hands with my Dad when we watched telly together (two armchairs next to each other). Nothing sick about it, it helped me feel close to him. He passed away nearly 3 years ago and I’d give anything to be able to sit and hold hands with him again and chat about what we’re watching on the telly.

Butchyrestingface · 26/12/2018 10:44

When his DF passed away he drove along in the car holding hands with her, which I overlooked at the time.

How frightfully noble of you. Xmas Hmm

I used to cuddle my late mum all the time.

Did he stick the tongue in or something? Because barring that, your reaction seems a touch unhinged.

PatricksRum · 26/12/2018 10:46

Are you Sam Faiers OP?

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 26/12/2018 10:46

Why would you feel the need to overlook him holding his mums hand after his dad died? It had nothing to do with you. You don't own your DH Confused he doesn't belong to you.

GinIsIn · 26/12/2018 10:48

How can you resent him holding her hand when her husband just died?! WTF is wrong with you?? Was this her first Christmas as a widow?

TheDarkPassenger · 26/12/2018 10:49

A kiss and a cuddle yeah but sitting on the couch prolonged kissing and cuddling I’d find really weird too tbh, and if it was a new partner I would be put off. I know that’s my problem but at the end of the day we all get uncomfortable by different things and that’s okay too, we don’t all have to pretend everything’s fine all the time. I wouldn’t say anything though.

My oh is no contact with his abusive mother so maybe that also taints my view because if I saw this happening I’d instantly assume they were physical fighting

doodleygirl · 26/12/2018 10:52

The only thing weird about this is you

Singingtherapy · 26/12/2018 11:06

These responses are ridiculous. Do people really not recognise a difference between typical hugs between family members and prolonged cuddling and kissing on the sofa? It's obviously just the way they are but definitely weird by most people's standards. YANBU

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 26/12/2018 11:08

Singingtherapy do you think the H fancies his mother or what? What do you think was going on here?

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 26/12/2018 11:10

That would also make me very freaked out, op. Would not be normal for me or DH or anyone in our families.

WitchesHatRim · 26/12/2018 11:11

When his DF passed away he drove along in the car holding hands with her, which I overlooked at the time.

Well aren't you a peach. Hmm

Absolutely nothing wrong with this. Maybe you should have a look at why you think there is.

Kittykat93 · 26/12/2018 11:11

Ok op I was sort of with you when you said It was a bit odd to sit cuddling and kissing all afternoon. I do agree I'd find it wierd.

But the bit about him holding hands with his mum after his dad passed? The fact you thought This is an issue is sad and quite frankly makes you the strange one.

lucy101101 · 26/12/2018 11:19

I sat holding my (dying) father's hand yesterday under a blanket. I am sure it looked a bit weird...

katekat383 · 26/12/2018 11:20

Yikes

katekat383 · 26/12/2018 11:20

@OP

crispysausagerolls · 26/12/2018 11:21

Why did my post get deleted?!

katekat383 · 26/12/2018 11:21

🤢

Cheby · 26/12/2018 11:23

I think it’s a bit weird tbh.

Tigger365 · 26/12/2018 11:46

My DH hasn’t seen his mother in 2.5 years but happily watched me hug and kiss both my parents and my stepfather yesterday. He has zero problem with it.
I think you have some serious issues, and I feel sorry for any children you have if that’s how you view affection.

Shimy · 26/12/2018 11:47

A kiss and a cuddle yeah but sitting on the couch prolonged kissing and cuddling I’d find really weird too tbh

I seriously doubt this is what happened but OP’s exaggerated spin on a perfectly normal show of affection...

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