To feel bad about presents I gave dd1?

[Marg0tt]

Yawn- another Christmas thread I know. But I’m just thinking about whether I’m wrong to feel guilty about the presents I gave my 16 year old dd. She got some nice shampoo, a weekly wall planner whiteboard thing, some highlight drops (make up) and two items of clothing (a jumper and dress) which although she acted thankful for, I can tell she wasn’t keen on. She’s been very grateful and I cannot fault her but I feel like the gifts were a let down- especially as her younger sister got more

Maybe post the pics of the items and we can get a better idea.

And also what did her sister get?

Also, WTF is she going to do with a wall planner? If she has a lot of hobbies, why not get her something related to the hobbies? The more I think about this, the more I feel sorry for your poor dd. Imagine the immortal shame going into school and all the other kids talking about their hoodies and Nike trainers and new phones/laptops etc. and your poor daughter having to say I got a shampoo, a wall-planner and a jumper!! I'd have been mortified at that age. My dd would be too but she's a good kid so I know wouldn't say anything, but I'd imagine she'd be struggling to hold back tears.

That said, If you're massively struggling financially, maybe that's all you could afford, but you do say that you're not struggling.

I have never seen a 16 year old wearing a jumper.

My DD (who is 19 now) wears jumpers a lot, has since she started 6th form. And she likes going clothes shopping with me. She'd hate 'labelled' clothes, makeup, most smellies...though more expensive 'curly hair' conditioners would be welcome...

I’m 26 my mum got me some nice bits from M&S which I was grateful for and ten fucking toiletries but not even nice ones ones from bodycwre that I can just buy. It was weird . Sort it out love.

Well you've obviously got an unusual teen Errol as my dd wouldn't be seen dead in a jumper.
Besides which, from what the OP posted, I have images of the following:

www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=C1kjXP7kB8HexgOg8oPQCA&q=knitted+jumper&oq=knitted+&gs_l=img.1.0.0i67l3j0l2j0i67j0l4.10376.11589..13232...0.0..0.161.718.7j1......1....1..gws-wiz-img.BK9l304_SNA#imgrc=RQjSc4eDym_blM:

It does feel a bit meh, it would have been better to add a bit of money in a card or a Costa/ Starbucks voucher, maybe some nice girly slippers

I'd be a bit miffed if my presents included shampoo and a whiteboard tbh! Which isn't to say you should spend a lot, nor that you should spend equal £££ on each child.
But couldn't you have thought up something more exciting than shampoo??

Just offer to take her shopping for a couple if extra bits explaining you weren't exactly sure what she wanted so you'd like to take her for a girls day out but give her a budget to spend. I'm sure she'd appreciate that along with some time with you. Time with kids I think is the most important thing you can offer.

I think the OP has had some harsh responses from a couple of PPs. My DD 21 has just got up and said that she's excited about washing her hair with her new shampoo and asked how I knew it was what she wanted. And no, she wasn't being sarcastic!

She also had: specific cleanser (£25), deodorant, touchscreen gloves, knickers, electric toothbrush, toothpaste (she always asks for that), chocolate covered rice cakes (she's anti sweet stuff and that's her only compromise), and other small things I can't remember. Her father hasn't been in contact for most of her life so nothing from him but £150 from his parents plus money from my mother.

She was really happy.

At 21 though, they're pretty self sufficient, they don't need things like a teen does.

Maybe it looked like being gracious or maybe it was just the norm and expected and she's used to it.

How many people actually want shampoo and a whiteboard for Christmas? Not many let alone a teen girl.

I don’t think a nice shampoo is a bad present but better suited to a stocking or as a gift from an aunt or something, not your mum.

Other pp have already listed all the things you could get teenage girls, I think they’re pretty easy to buy for.

If you had come on and said you were really poor, didn't have a spare penny and it was all you could afford, then fair enough. It is just coming across like you just didnt really bother to put much thought or effort into it so all, and that's really not great. How can you not know what a 16yr old would want? We didn't have a.lot growing up but I remember going back to school after Christmas, listening to what everyone got and if I said shampoo and a wall calender, I'd be gutted.

I don’t mean this aggressively at all but what could I have bought her? I really don’t know and I just want to hear your ideas

16 year olds a very difficult to buy for. If your DD is anything like mine, when asked, multiple times, what she'd like for Christmas the reply was "I don't need anything".

I got my 17 year old DD a facial steamer, make up brushes, her favourite perfume, pj's, a Christmas jumper (as she likes to wear a Christmas jumper for a family party on Chritmas night). That's about all in gifts really. She doesn't have the same taste in clothes as me so I gave her a card with some cash to go shopping in the sales.

Her stocking contained nice shampoo, conditioner, bubble bath, bath bomb, chocs, knickers, socks, face mask, impulse, hairbrush and just other small bits really.

Don't feel bad. Just give her some cash (However much you can afford) for the sales. Merry Christmas 🥂🍾

you've obviously got an unusual teen Errol as my dd wouldn't be seen dead in a jumper.

Looking at a recent photo of DD with other students, not that unusual at all. I'd take a guess the OP knows whether her DD ever wears them or not.

My 16 year old DS wanted a shopping trip into the big city (rather than the small city where we live) with me. It was as much about having a day out with me as about the stuff, although there are better shops there for his taste.
We went on the train, had a pub lunch (he can have a pint with his meal) and just hung out. He got trainers, a hoody and T-shirt that he chose.
I imagine your DD would love similar. It’s about making time.

Surprises that went down well were a Nando’s voucher and a mug that is a joke of one of his interests. He also loves his chunky slipper socks.

I really think it’s about making time and knowing your kid. Like they say, it’s the thought that counts.

As an aside to the OP, I used to buy knickers for dd until about 10, now she picks out her own. There's just something weird about your Mum buying your underwear at that age. Maybe I'm weird. Who knows.
That said, my sister one year bought me this negligee set (is that what it's called? could be using the wrong term), which was basically a slinky sort of satin short nightdress thingy with matching overgarment (I'd call it a dressing gown lol). She bought it in size 12, when I am size 8. And in purple. Which I have been quite vocal about telling her is a colour I despise in clothing. I do think maybe her heart was in the right place or she was regifting haha

Apparently, I am also a legend among her friends for my lack of consideration in presents. Please believe me when I meant this genuinely, but can see in hindsight how awful it was. Again, my sister bought me Clinique Happy (a fragrance I dislike). I hadn't bought her anything, but knew she liked the fragrance. So I get this gift, tell her, sorry, I haven't gotten anything for you yet, and you like this fragrance, so you have it instead because it's not really a fragrance I like (I know I know I know I know). She reminds me of this every fucking year since. In a joking way, not annoyed. and has told all her friends who must think I'm the worst sister on the planet *sigh
It just made sense to me at the time! What can I say!

As an aside to the OP, I used to buy knickers for dd until about 10, now she picks out her own. There's just something weird about your Mum buying your underwear at that age. Maybe I'm weird. Who knows

My DD would have a fit if I bought her clothes but doesn't mind me buying knickers. I know the ones she likes 😊

I mean they’re a bit meh but I think the fact her sister got more is really unfair

Anyway... other things to buy for an undemanding teen ...
If they do use smellies, a selection of the sort of stuff they like but a bit nicer, if that makes sense.
Pens etc... a stationary shop can usually yield something handy.
Chocolates and nuts.
Socks (esp fluffy ones), PJs and/or nightshirts.
Mugs with some theme... eg if they're into some particular type of dog, or whatever (having a dachshund does make life easier!).
Funny and/or band T-shirt if you know what would appeal - a site like Cafe Press is boot for T-shirt's, hoodies, mugs with any design under the sun you can think of and it shows thought. E.g in our case www.google.co.uk/search?q=now+i+control+the+world+dachshund&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari#

If they're likely to be going to uni or moving out in a couple of years, starting to get some of the bits and bobs they'll need then can be an idea.

My 16 year old DS wanted a shopping trip into the big city (rather than the small city where we live) with me. It was as much about having a day out with me as about the stuff, although there are better shops there for his taste.

Definitely try to do something like this.

I think the fact her sister got more is really unfair

If the older child used to get a similar amount of presents when she was that age then it isn't.

is boot is good.
All I want for Xmas is for autocorrect that works...