anyone else having a really rather bollocks xmas?!

[artisantastemaker321]

god knows I am.

'd'H and inlaw related...has ruined the whole day. trying to hold it together for our lovely kids but so sick and tired of it all. don't want to bore you with details...but am so tired of looking after everyone and no-one really looking after me.

first world problems blah blah i know, but to all of those struggling with 'perfect' christmases and families - you ain't alone. just want a handhold in return i guess!

Yeah I had a fucking awful day yesterday. On my own for the first time ever. But I'd rather be on my own than make merry with controlling, manipulating, girlfriend slapping sil. He's a CUNT and I just couldn't be nice, not even for one day.

@namechangetheworld Oh my, your “d”H sounds like a total total arse. And you are 33 weeks pregnant. How entitled and unloving.
Poor you. I hope you DD gave you some cuddles.

@DerelictWreck we are moving to Australia, DH has an extremely close family and I know it will be hard for them having DH moving to the other side of the world.

MIL reacted badly when we went on a working holiday (one year) to Canada. I believe it due to her having a son who died at birth so she will feel like she's losing another son (and two grandsons), which is understandable. About to face the music now.

We've all got D&V. Christmas postponed.

Yesterday was fine, nothing special and we did some DIY, but I'm having an interstitial cystitis flare, I'm pregnant, got MIL soggy parsnips today and I got no sleep.

So nothing totally bollocks over here but plenty of mehhhh.

I've had a hideous viscious gastro bug from Xmas Eve & still on going (bottom end & horrific stomach cramps!) No sleep for 2 nights, no Xmas dinner, no booze, no participating in family life, feel dreadfully guilty for ruining Xmas & all our plans - poor son bored stiff at home instead of out & about with family , etc. And to top it all, hubby's Xmas gifts to me (only a couple of things) were very unimaginative when I'd put far more effort into his! Actually cried yesterday - partly from pain & partly because I felt so bloody upset about it all!

I'm having a totally bollocks one now!

Massive interstitial cystitis flare-up, despite being very careful with what I've eaten. I'm in so much pain that I've had to call 111 and am waiting for ooh to call me back.

When you stand back from it all, Christmas has become a mess of epic proportions...

The expenditure can become obscene in some cases, and a real cause for concern for those who can ill afford it.
Then there's the issue of dealing with families where evidently many don't enjoy each other's company but feel obliged to visit or host people they'd rather not have to, and often the feeling is mutual.

The food and drink can be excessive too, and whilst it doesn't have to be, it can quite tricky trying to stay on the straight and narrow with a sensible diet, or drinking regimen.

The 'spirit of Christmas' just seems to be lost - and I suspect it might never return. I can only speak for myself, and it's not my place to suggest how it feels for others but to me, Christmas just ain't Christmas any more.

Christmas gets shitter each year and most people just seem to be going through the motions now. Nobody seemed happy and festive this year. It was all because they 'had' to. Everyone should have a year off, no stress of hosting, buying mounds of presents etc.

Torn I know what you mean a bit.

I woke up with that magical feeling on Christmas day though. Strange. But unfortunately it only lasted 10 minutes till I got up.

Few cards. People don't "bother" anymore. Feel my health problems have also closed down some friendships.

The family day itself was nice enough. But of course my mother had to ruin the end of the hols with some unpleasant outburst.

I'm having the perfect xmas here OP - ON MY OWN. In PJ's doing what the hell I like and not cooking for anyone or going anywhere.
My son and other relatives know I will visit them in January at some point and I have made it plain I want to be left alone as I'm knackered.
It's been the best xmas ever.
Try it one year, to hell with the in laws.

I'm so sorry to hear that you've not had the best time. I've been where alot of you are right now and it's never nice. Try to think of it as it being a normal week which has been heavily commercialised and there's loads of pressure to have the perfect Christmas and spend unnecessary amounts on people to prove you love them, I hope that makes sense. It will soon all be over and life can go back to being normal again for alot of us.
I was dreading this Christmas because I have the worry of not knowing if I have cancer or not, I've only done the Christmas thing for my daughter and tried to keep everything as normal for her, otherwise I would t have bothered.

Bloody hell, I've just read all the other posts and I think you all need a massive hug and cliffs to shove the husbands and ILs off

Since my childhood I can't recall one enjoyable Christmas, I'm 46! Divorced my cheating husband ten years ago who I was with from 18... he hated Christmas and made sure everyone else's was shit too. So now I'm single mum with a 15 year old and it kills me every year that I can't give him the magical large family Christmases that I used to have as a child, it breaks my heart every year. I'm thinking of saving up for me and him to go away next year maybe skiing. Much love to everyone going through difficult times and illnesses. I dread Christmas every year!! New year is no different. I totally see why the first Monday back to work after new year is known as D-Day in the legal world. I survive Christmas now by going for peaceful country walks on my own, I might be a bit lonely but being single, financially independent and in control of my own destiny has been the most liberating experience of my life since calling time on the biggest disappointment that was my ex. Big hugs to everyone having a shit time xx

My DC have never experienced a Xmas with my own (extremely large) family and, every year, badger me as to why (their DF’s family, far smaller than mine, do Xmas in spades - whole family, feast, much exchanging of gifts etc). I simply didn’t have the heart to tell them that my family weren’t always the most reliable and I didn’t want to risk disappointing them with a stressful or sub-par Xmas.

This year I relented on my Scrooge-like tendencies, despite having surgery less than two weeks before Xmas. After getting Xmas dinner ready for some family who had told us they would come (I didn’t invite them, by the way - they offered to come!), DC helped me set the table beautifully and were so proud that they’d get to tell their DF’s family about Xmas with mum’s family. I called my family all day to find out where they were (no response from them or call backs). In fact, I got through to them at 5pm - they picked up and said they’d call me back in 5 mins. I waited for that call - it never came. I called again a few times, and they finally picked up at 8pm to say that they weren’t coming. It transpired that they’d known they wouldn’t be coming from that morning (no emergency either). When I tried to ask (through tears) why they hadn’t thought to text or call me all day, let alone return my calls, or mention it when I’d spoken to them briefly at 5pm, they hung up the phone on me. I packed everything away in floods of tears. Poor DC were beside themselves trying to comfort me, which (in addition to post-surgery pain - I hadn’t taken my painkillers most of the day as didn’t want to end up groggy as family could be arriving at any moment) just made me feel even worse.

If there’s one good thing to come of this, it’s that DC will never ask for Xmas with my family ever again, and I can’t say that I would blame them.

Ugh. I did 95% of the work of Christmas. Obviously. All gifts for three kids bought and wrapped. Food shopping, prep, etc. barely sat down on Christmas Day. Six of my in-laws showed up without so much as a bottle of wine to contribute, cheeky fuckers. Wanker Husband didn't buy me a gift - I bought myself a couple of things and wrapped them myself. Despite me requesting that we (DH's family) don't exchange gifts (we have a small house for 5 people and a dog and nowhere to store things) one of the sisters showed up with a child-sized bag (i.e. that you could fit a child in) full of absolute shite. It's all going to the charity shop. For some reason that annoyed me more than anything.

Rcat....don't let your son upset you...tell him your sorry if he feels like that but he's got the presents you could afford and some children don't get any. Sometimes they need to hear things black and white and knocking down a peg or two. As for MIL she sounds awful...I would have to tell her she was rude and hurtful and at the same time tell her to teach her son some decency lessons and get him to get up of his arse and help out.

Fil had accident on Xmas day early morning so we spent all Xmas day at hosp.sad for kids to miss out on Xmas especially eldest who had 500 mile round trip to be there.

(I'm presuming most of you are women btw rightly or wrongly)

FFS women get a grip, take control of your lives. Stop being a door mat to lazy unfucking apreciative men. Just stop!! Start laying down the law tell them this isn't the Christmas you want or are doing again. One thing I learned a long time ago... you act like a door mat then you get treated like one. Scale back Christmas to just a Sunday dinner for just immediate family if there are more than 5 of you then delegate...they have to help out, bring deserts or the veg etc.... find your voice and courage. Tell everyone early dec how it's going to be!!

At the risk of outing myself, just wanted to say that there was light at the end of my tunnel.

DC are now with their DF/his family having a wonderful time and I’ve been alone for the past couple of days (feeling a bit sorry for myself).

Over the course of the past 24 hours, one neighbour dropped round some chocolates, another dropped round a bottle of prosseco, I received flowers in the mail from a childhood friend, a decade-long friend gave me a call and listened to me vent for a whole hour and a dear family member (one of the only ones to whom I’m very close) on hearing what had happened told me to jump in a cab (which he would pay for) to the other side of England to come stay with him and his family if I didn’t want to be alone (I graciously declined as I’m not about to let him spend that much money right after Xmas!)

Although I’m still upset about how Xmas turned out, today will always hold a special place in my heart knowing that there are people out there who care about me/my wellbeing (and actually put their money/actions where their mouths are).

Much love to the rest of you, and I hope you all find light (no matter how small) at the end of your tunnel(s).

Torn....
I couldn't agree more... I feel we were all happier when we had less... I've seen folk posting on Facebook photos of massive piles of presents they've got their kids.... i find it really vulgar

Yep, def a crap Xmas. All 4 kids doing their own thing. Me and Dh couldn’t have been more bored if we tried!!!!!! Not making any plans for new year😂😂😂

Yes, I've just finished two bloody weeks of absolutely awful, knackering, totally bollocks awfulness.

Thank God it's over, and if anyone could get me out of next year, I would love you forever and remember you in my will. I just wish Christmas would, as they say around here, fuck off to the far side of fuck, and ... you know how it goes.