anyone else having a really rather bollocks xmas?!

[artisantastemaker321]

god knows I am.

'd'H and inlaw related...has ruined the whole day. trying to hold it together for our lovely kids but so sick and tired of it all. don't want to bore you with details...but am so tired of looking after everyone and no-one really looking after me.

first world problems blah blah i know, but to all of those struggling with 'perfect' christmases and families - you ain't alone. just want a handhold in return i guess!

Today's been rough. l've cried more times than l can count today. Not even sure why, half the time, except l've been on my own all day, haven't seen a soul since Thursday, and l lost both my parents very close to Christmas. My mother to suicide six years ago.
l've had a poorly bunny so all day l've been thinking l was going to have to drive 12 miles to the vet hospital.
But.... a dear friend who lives 200 miles away rang me, we've had nearly 2 hours on the phone, and it's done me the world of good. My poorly bunny is now eating me out of house and home, the other two are happy and healthy, and l can properly relax tonight. To be honest l'm just glad it's nearly over for another year. l'm telling myself it's one day out of 365, and the rest of them can't be as bad as this.
Pat yourselves on the back that you've managed to get through it, however bad it's been x

Why don't we all just admit myself included that Christmas is shit most of us hate it and can't wait for it to be over.
Just causes money worries ,family rifts and makes people on their own feel even lonelier.

Lovely day but spoilt by ex h calling, texting and to threaten my husband and me because we didn't hear him call to speak to DD. Instead of phoning back in five mins like a normal person he's threatened us beyond belief. Police called. No doubt he's pissed.

We’ve had a totally shit year for lots of reasons but I was feeling quite hopeful and festive on Sunday.

I barely sat down yesterday or today, in laws had filled my bingo card within 5 hours of arriving. DS (5) is exhausted from first term at school and totally overwhelmed by the day and has had numerous meltdowns. DH is upset because his parents have been (yet again) bad guests and judgemental grandparents. DD (2) has been thrilled with all her presents and has had a lovely day, despite her heavy cold.

Bah humbug.

So sorry for you MorganKitten, hope your mum recovers soon; also Scoogle. I'm glad your day has been better than you feared. Adding get-well-wishes to those of you ill; never a worse time really.

I sympathise and empathise with every one of you who has had a shit day. I've come to the conclusion that I loath Christmas and think that I always have. It's the time of year when I'm on edge and close to tears. I get a bit sick of gritting my teeth as hard as I can and digging my nails into the palms of my hands to distract myself.

My husband doesn't cook; gets very stressed about doing anything that is time sensitive and takes an age to do things like washing up. He's good with the kids but there has to be more to life sometimes. For those of you with short-tempered partners, I get it, I absolutely do. Doing everything yourself might be easier from the point of view of 'getting it done', but it's a hell of a load sometimes.

I've just watched 'Call The Midwife' and long for a simpler time.

for all of you, hoping that 2019 brings better things.

We had a nice day, but my brother spent Christmas Eve alone in an empty airport hotel in Italy, and got his kids at midnight. A few hours sleep before boarding the plane to us (faaaar away). They are still on the way!
The trials of divorced parenting...
We are looking forward to another Christmas tomorrow when they arrive.

So many more posts have come in since mine. Louby6, so sorry about your dog. Nothing that can be said will make you feel any better right now.

@user1490465531

I normally love Christmas. But our quiet first family Christmas kept expanding (mostly thanks to others). Most were fine but my cousin was an absolute nightmare. Like insane. My MIL did/ said some stupid stuff amongst otherwise being helpful. But it mostly negated all the niceness. And then silly things.

But mostly my cousin being a CF and causing loads of issues, which caused extra stress, which knocked on to other stuff. Trying to avoid to many outing details. But yeah, total crap.

Sorry for all who are having such a rough time - we've had DH with cold virus/chest infection for a month - older DS has tonsilitis and bronchitis and younger DS has bad throat and chest but apparently clear according to emergency doctor on Saturday. Poor mum has dementia which has gone totally worse over the past few weeks and she kept asking when Christmas was and why weren't we doing it at our house (we did!) and then younger DS was using his christmas cracker comb on the dog and realised he had fleas, so I've been putting the frontline on him/hoovering/washing his basket and bedding all afternoon between washing up and drying up. Had woken up crying this morning because I dreamt my dad who passed away 23 years ago had come back to help us ... ugh :(

Not too bad today but yesterday was grim. DH kept me awake half the night after calling me names for no good reason other than he was a drunken arse.

Then he proceeded to belittle anything id done as he'd 'done everything for Christmas and I'd been a lazy cow'.
I'd actually bought and wrapped all the kids presents apart from two that he'd got. He'd done the food shopping which had taken him two visits as opposed to the weeks of effort I'd put in.

Grrrrrr

to all.
It’s been so overhyped that the let down and subsequent disappointments are massive.
Presents that I didn’t know anyone wanted, relatives on their own and too far to go and collect, spending time with family that underneath it all don’t really like you but pretend your so important. I don’t know why but I feel really sad. A lump in my throat and close to tears.
Then you hear someone’s child has died and it puts it all into perspective.
But underneath I still feel sick and sad. Doubly now.
I have now realised I HATE this time of year. And I always thought I was Christmas queen. Such massive pressure for what?

Sorry to hear about the crap Christmases.

Mine wasn't that bad in comparison, just a bit of a letdown.

Ours has been lovely but I'm recovering from a miscarriage a few weeks ago and have just logged onto Instagram to see four or more pregnancy announcements in a row, and my day is now ruined.

On a plus... DS just successfully pulled himself up into a sit unaided. Very wobbily but a nice Christmas first to see :)

He's 18 weeks :)

Oh and he has the most amazing giggle. Actually, this running away for baby cuddles plan was rather inspired :)

So minor in comparison to others

Had a shit day, spent £200 for a meal for 2 of us, a bottle of English sparkling wine (which wasn’t all that great) and taxi’s there and back (venue in the middle of nowhere and, if we’d not taken the taxi, I’d have had to drive).

Didn’t get past the soup (first course, no choice as apparently inoffensive vegetarian flavour) which was basically a bowl of warm, sweet, fat flavoured stuff. After that start I didn’t bother waiting for further courses (chicken and tarragon terrine - something else there was no choice about and something else’s I don’t really like) fish roulade for main course (choice was that, thurkey or goats cheese) and dessert. When I’m served a first course I don’t like it puts me off my food so I’d have spent the meal pushing food round my plate. We were sat right by the door into the kitchen and in a cold draft so I wasn’t even comfortable at the table. Couldn’t leave as had to wait for return taxi to come for us (3 hours from when seated), too far to walk home (not that I could have found my way home as new to area) and wearing heels. Plus it was foggy so couldn’t have seen where we were going.

DH and I rowed about stupid stuff including the fact no one seems to give a toss that my DM died 9 months ago and I’m expected to get on with it. Found out DSS who was meant o be hosting us tomorrow isn’t bothering to do food so I’ve still got to come home and cook once we’ve delivered presents to 3 branches of DH family (all the gifts sorted out by me including buying and wrapping - left to DH nothing would be bought)

Decided I’m not going to bother in future - no presents, no food and no going out. If DH family want to see us they can make the effort not the other way round!!

Mine was shit too and I tried so hard. At least its only Christmas one day a year ! Have resolved to make some changes - not putting myself through this again

I’ve been so lonely. It’s just been me, DH and 2 sons but no-one else. It’s just been like a normal Sunday really. Both our sets of parents are elderly and DH’s can’t travel and don’t want us to go to them because of the noise and chaos. Mine are at my brother’s. DH doesn’t have any siblings so there aren’t any cousins etc to spend time with. Then DH forgot to defrost the prawns so no starters and then forgot to cook the pigs in blankets. Sorry I know they are first world problems but i’ll Be glad when the forced festivities are over.

Another shit day here. IL’s decided yesterday morning that they wouldn’t be coming down as they didn’t fancy the drive. I’ve spent so much time choosing them presents and getting the food and drink in that they like as dh wouldn’t bother. I’ve had a completely shit year, loads of health problems and dh working away. He took a job away as it pays loads and it would mean he could treat us to things (it genuinely pays 10x his previous salary so couldn’t turn it down). He hadn’t even asked what I’d got dc’s, whether it was wrapped, whether I’d got enough in or needed any help. All just expected to be done. Which I don’t mind too much as he’s normally very generous with presents and I’m easily bribed by shiny things.

The present wrapped up in tin foil under the tree with my name carved into it with a biro was a plastic Lumiere light. Sans batteries. I’ve never even seen Beauty and the Beast .

Mine was not as planned. DH is unwell and became more poorly over the last 24 hours or so. I had to slap a grin on and keep it maniacally cheery for DD, whilst doing everything and being on standby for a dash to A&E and feeling consumed with anxiety for him. DH feeling a bit better now, so I’m having a glass of wine and trying to be philosophical - he’s with us and DD had a fun day.

for those having a much harder time.

Mum has dementia and is in a home. Went to sit with her at their luncheon and she wanted no part of it. She doesn't know who I am anymore.

I messed up my timings so dinner will be late. I broke the measuring cup Mum got as a bride and this has upset me massively. The worst part is that I want to cry, but I just can't. It's like it's blocked inside me.

BUT, it will all be ok. The sun will rise tomorrow. We'll all get through this, one way or another.

Special peace, prayers, and thoughts to all posting who are dealing with ill family members. And a special prayer for @FlyingElbow 's son as well as his friend. Xmas is not the time for a kid to be faced with the reality of a friend going in to care.

Very first world problem, didn't get any of the 4 things I'd asked for from DH (all

Everyone it's so hard I am sending love and sympathy to us all quietly digging deep to just get through the day. My Dad has lung cancer, I live hundreds of miles away and logistics mean I can't see him until 2.1.19. He is to ill to speak to me today and I feel torn in two between being there for him and my mum and my own family of three kids. I feel at moment I am not supporting either effectively.

Reading some of these I'm realising how ridiculous my problem with Christmas this year is, but it's been crappy nonetheless!

My DH, DS and I are staying with my parents over the Christmas period. My DM is always on a diet, consistently for the last few yrs. She's in great shape FWIW, but it's come at at a cost that I myself would not be willing to pay. I love food too much to forever be on a diet. Anyway, normally my DM puts this to the side at Xmas and puts on a big spread throughout the day - bacon sandwiches for breakfast, snacks out all morning, big Christmas dinner and then leftover buffet in the evening. I admit, I do expect it, but had I known it would be any different this year I'd have made sure we had bought some stuff ourselves. We found out last night there would be no bacon sandwiches, too late for us to pop out and grab some bacon ourselves or another nice breakfast alternative for the morning. So cereal it was. Then no snacks left out all morning until Xmas lunch at 2:30. Lunch was good, can't complain about that - plentiful and tasty! But then no pudding. And then at 8pm, they asked if we wanted nibbles. Said sure, and they brought out some crisps and nuts. No leftover turkey ( and there had been loads!) no cheese, crackers or chutneys etc. I know I probably sound really ungrateful, but I've hosted the last 3 years and have always gone all out to make sure everyone is well fed for breakfast, lunch, tea etc on the big day. If they'd told me that they would be doing things differently then I'd have picked up some cheeses and buffet bits before, but not realising this would be the case i didn't have the opportunity to. I have to say I'm pretty disappointed - we have gone up to bed hungry, and that's a first for me at Christmas! I'd be mortified if I hosted and my guests went home / to bed hungry on Christmas Day!

It's an ungrateful feeling, I know, but I don't appreciate being on a diet on Christmas Day. We don't live near so it's not as if we could go home and raid the fridge to fill up. A massive first world problem, but for me Christmas Day is all about the food so this one has been a total letdown. Pretty gutted actually, probably a massive over reaction but can't help it!

@louby6 I had to have my beloved pet PTS last Christmas Eve, sending

First Christmas alone, ever.
Supposed to go to daughters but developed a chest infection yesterday.
So,I've spoiled Christmas.
Spent all day lying in bed, with dog.
4th day n c with abusive x p.
I so desperately want to contact him but won't.
Just need a hug.