AIBU to feel LIVID!!!! 😔

[Bamchic]

Because after 4 .5 years MIL doesn’t even know my name.
Apparently it’s because I’ve not had DHs child. So I’m not really in it for the long haul
I had to have a TFMR in 2017 past 20W, and this would’ve been DS first Christmas (Edd 20.1.18)

I can’t fathom why she can’t learn my name 2 syllable very plain think Emma, Susie, Jessie etc.

We are here until 2 and I feel so sad. Can’t wait until 330 when I can see my own mum and dad. I feel so sad and worthless 😢

In your sweetest voice, with a concerned face say: oh dear Simon's mum, would it help you if I wore a name badge? (And If necessary: I know that grasping names can become difficult as you age).

I don't understand why people are advocating all this passive aggressive and faux concern crap.
Just call her out on it and correct her firmly. Every time.
And you have a husband problem to deal with if his dislike of confrontation means he stands by while this is happening.

Do you know of anybody she really hates?
If so, call her by their name.

What a nasty woman.

Pity her because she is fucking pathetic.

If your 12 year old niece can see it, everyone can.

Imagine being your MIL, everyone thinking bad things about her as soon as they leave. She is harming herself with her behaviour, people like her always do. They just don't realise they themselves are the one they are hurting most in the long run, until it's too late, then wonder why they are old and alone.

Try not to let her get to you. Rise above and let her dig her own hole.

sooty the pretend concern is fun because she won’t be sure whether she is really coming across as a daft old woman or a nasty bitch. Whatever approach is used it is crucial that she knows she is making a twat of herself and not upsetting the OP. In fact laughing at her in front of everyone and telling everyone why is good too. Anything is better than letting it go all the time.

Sorry, I think faux concern is manipulative and drags you down to their level. I don't see any advantages to it at all and I can't see that it's fun. I'd tackle it straight on - no reason not to.

She is pathetic, and your DH should have chewed her out for it long ago.

I wouldn't be visiting someone who treated me in this manner, family or not.

Pull her up on it and leave every time she does it. Immediately. I would expect your DH to be leaving with you, every single time, without apology.

Call her Simons mum.

Nasty and rude, awful behaviour from her, I would not be visiting her much at all.

Your DH sounds spineless. Spending Christmas Day with them is not low contact. Don't do it to yourself again!

She is being a pillock and quite honestly embarrasing herself with her bad manners. Personally I'd feel sorry for her, she clearly has problems.

Just leave. There’s literally no reason for you to stay. Fuck nasty people like that, life is too short to put up with it.

Go and enjoy your Xmas.

Can you start calling her bitch face?

I’m mortified for you, OP - not only for your nasty cow of a MIL, but also for the rest of your spineless family - how has your DH, at the very least, not picked her up on this? Your DH should have quietly corrected her the first time, and when it continued, just calmly stated that he wasn’t going to let her continue to humiliate you like this, and left with you.

I am so sorry for your loss, she is a nasty cow.

Merry Christmas and I hope for a better 2019 for you.

I think I'd respond by calling her something like Morticia...

Personally I would just turn to her and say 'I beg your pardon' then just stare at her. Put as much distain into your voice as you can. People who are being deliberately passively aggressive rarely like being made to feel that you know what they are doing and are calling them out on it. Failing that as pp said turn to her and say loud and clearly that my name is xxxx and if you deliberately call be anything else again we won't be coming to your house again. You really have to mean it though so best to discuss with your oh beforehand.

I feel for you.

My Mil (of 18 years) has always called me by a nick name she’s knows I hate. Think Nikky instead of Nicola.

I have never had the balls to shorted hers to one I know she hates. Eg. Bree instead of Breda.

She has heard me correct countless people when first introduced.

If you have more balls than I do then I think Dave is a good start as PP have suggested above.

I disagree with everyone suggesting you call her by other names. Anything other than being direct is risking sinking to her level. Correct her. Tell her she's being rude. Tell her that you'll leave the next time she does it, and then do so. If your husband doesn't have your back here you have a problem with him too.

Directly confront her. "Why do you keep pretending to not know my name? It's very rude."

Don't accept any excuses about it being a mistake - you know otherwise. Just firmly tell her to stop doing it.

I am a non confrontational person too, and I understand that feeling of wanting to avoid an argument. But on the rare occasions when someone is treating you incredibly poorly, you have to summon some inner strength and call them out.

Please try it. People who are rude or passive aggressive are often stunned when they are confronted. You might be surprised - she will probably behave better towards you in future. Worst case scenario is she says something horrible and then you have every excuse not to see her anymore.

PS I agree with the poster above - don't do anything passive aggressive back to her. People can come up with some funny and creative ideas on MN but they aren't always appropriate to the situation. Be the adult.

Call her Fred

I let it slide but mentioned it on the way home to DH, he’s now refused to come to my parents who have cooked him a seperate joint of meat, and got him gifts (not a contest or anything, but a note that my family would like him to feel involved etc) because my family are just as disfinctional as his and he shouldn’t be persecuted for it. He’s also not talking to me.
Seriously WTF is going on?
Currently in my cosies drinking prosecco and eating ferero rocher with my mum.