Aibu to want xmas our way

[supermommyof4]

My children are between 13-20 years old, 2 of them are working quite late tonight.
We usually have a very relaxed xmas day and get up when we are all ready, as we see no reason to rush the day.
Now without any discussions Dp has informed me Ex is dropping dss off at 10 am xmas morning, i am annoyed as my xmas day now has to run to her timetable.
Dss is 11 and more than capable of either waiting till later on in the day or boxing day.
Mine have waited before as their dad isnt always here over xmas.
Am i wrong to feel annoyed that i wasnt included or even asked about arrangements. My kids will not be awake at 10am i guarantee it. Dd1 is working till 7 tonight and ds1 is working till 10/11.
They have both worked all week and are both entitled to a lie in.

Ive told Dp that i will get up with him for dss to arrive but i cant say the others will be awake but next year i would appreciate a discussion about it. We are not early risers never have been, i also suffer with fibromyalgia and under active thyroid so i usually do need more sleep than others.
Our xmas day is relaxed and not rushed because its a whole day plenty of time.
I probably wont get into bed till 12 tonight after preparing for tomorrow.
Its not Dss i have a problem with its his mother constantly expecting me to change my life to suit her.
But i think Dp gets me now, he sees what i am saying.

You said he "is 11 and more than capable of either waiting till later on in the day or boxing day". Now you are saying he wasn't due to come on Christmas Day due to visitors. So later in the day wasn't an option?

"Waiting" for what? Presents? Or seeing one of his parents?

So there is a backstory I expected there would be. Regardless it's not a chore to see your own child on Christmas Day and you should stop treating it as such. Don't take your frustrations with his mother put on him, he's just a child who may be equally upset about not spending the day with his mother.

And for what it's worth 10am is a reasonable time.

As i said its not Dss thats the problem. Its his mother trying to call the shots all the time.

Dripfeed!

I’ve been the dsd, you’re horrible.

Maybe you should return to being single, then you can run every day to the whims of your precious adult children and not have your life ruined by an 11 yr old step child.

So your problem is with the controlling ex isn't it. So don't make DSS suffer for your problem with her. He will be 16/18 soon enough, and can make his own plans, and she will have less influence. As a step-mum, I sympathise, but I suck a lot up for DH.

Actually I don't believe your drip feed. Why on earth did you bang on about your teens working 'late' rather than your health issues?

You say she "dictates everything" but wanting a child to see their DF on Christmas Day is hardly dictatorial is it? She probably just assumed that you and your DP would be happy to see DSS since most reasonable people wouldn't begrudge a child spending time with their parent on Christmas morning. Presumably your DP agreed to the arrangement so I'm not sure why you're directing all your irritation at his Ex.

Hes not bothered about seeing his dad..he regularly calls his dad saying he isnt coming over..if he has something better to do or just doesnt want to walk up.
Its the presents he is bothered about. I said he could have come up later in the day too. But hey ho..10am is early for us last xmas mine were still asleep at 11. Whilst i showered, put food on etc.

So because you have to get up before 10am for one day she is asking you to "change your life"?

Actually i have had words with Dp about no discussion. And bending to her every whim.

Of course it's the presents hes bothered about ! He's 11! You and your teens can stay in bed and your DP can get up.

Yabu

You don't have to get up

It's Christmas. Show some compassion FFS. Blended families often mean compromise. Poor kid ... probably knows he's not really welcome

Vile

Minister she does this all the time..not just xmas. One day she rung before 9 on a saturday, to bang on about something she didnt need to ring for. She seems to think cause there all up early everyone else should.

Completely ignoring the topic but 10am is not a lie in! I’m an adult and frequently sleeping til gone 1pm on weekends. I get up and go to work during the week. Why does it matter?

She is a child of 11, you miserly human being.

Why can't you welcome her on CHRISTMAS MORNING!

Evil Stepmothers do exist. FFS.

I think I get it OP, he is only coming from 10- 11 30 and that is mainly just to get presents, however as your dc are likely to be still asleep it won't really be family time, you would prefer for him to come on Boxing Day (as previously arranged) and spend some more time with the whole family and do presents then. You think that if he comes tomorrow that will be your visit over for Christmas once he has his presents? That didn't come across in your OP but if that is what you mean then I don't think you are being that unreasonable.

Drip drip drip comes the bullshit backstory

If the issue was your illness or that DSS has to be back at his mums for 11.30am then why on earth wouldn’t you mention it on your opening post?

You are being awful to an 11 year old child. And are still trying to defend your selfishness. Get a fucking grip.

You are not been kind. Your update is worse. If your DC didn't get to see their father Xmas day sometimes it is irrelevant.
It is one day a year, it is a reasonable hour 10am. It is obvious you would prefer he didn't come until boxing day, again using your own experience to justify it. Who has the child's best interests at heart.

Quite nice for your oh to spend some one on one time with the lad, they could have breakfast together, even go for a kick about in the park if the weathers nice.

The rest of you can lie in your pits and feel seasonally grumpy to your hearts content.

Bollocks to all your drip feeding.

Your issue was your precious kids needed to get up earlier than planned. They don't even work late. Your first post shows exactly that your kids are oh so precious and dad is an inconvienience.

Your Christmas can still be relaxed.