To ask if you are age 45-55

[Iamtheoneandonly2018]

Did you go to your parents with your problems? Was talking about this to someone and we both can't work out if it's a generational thing. We were left to deal with stuff on our own/ told we were making a mountain out of a molehill etc. Parents still won't discuss stuff now - still ignored or brushed under the carpet.

It would never have occurred to me to go to my parents for emotional support. I was supposed to just get on with it.
Practical support within their skill set would have been fine.
I'm 55.

I didn’t discuss emotional stuff with my parents but mainly because I didn’t want to burden them. I think they would have tried to help, though. They are kind people. They both had unimaginably tough childhoods by modern standards and I think both suffered significant emotional damage.

No,definitely not.
I'm 47 & an only child. I felt very lonely as a child,suffered bullying in secondary school,which I kept to myself.
I was never asked how I was feeling mentally by my parents,or any other adult relatives.
Mental health was something that wasn't talked about at all,along with periods
I have suffered with bouts of anxiety & depression & I wonder if that's to do with my upbringing.

I’m 48

No, I don't tend to trouble my parents with my own problems/dilemmas. I tend to share with DP and then tell them afterwards, if it's relevant. I know they are there if I need them though. Actually, they were a tremendous help when we were relocating a few years ago. Dad was able to advise about the purchase of an old house when the survey looked less than favourable and mum packed a picnic lunch and came to view houses with me when DP was unable to. So really, I tend to go to them if they have more practical experience of something big, rather than day to day worries iyswim.

I do talk to mom about problems yes. All the time. I'm 51. My mom can be a bit ditzy but in a crisis she's brilliant. And she is my biggest fan. I love my mom.

Sadly I lost my dad 20 years ago but I would have still have asked his advice too. He was a very clever man. Much missed.

VanCleef I think you said it perfectly too.
I know all about my teenage dd's thoughts & feelings many times a day
Just so different from my younger years.

No my mum comes to me with her problems .. to be fair I don't have any really and have always been incredibly robust as my mum and sister were not 🤷‍♀️

No. There’s a reason our parents are called the ‘ me generation’
They didn’t live through the war or abject poverty. They were precious post war babes who were loved and spoiled ( as a generation of course as individuals it’s not always true)
There are some interesting books about it - try how baby boomers ruined America. There’s a huge amount of people in there 40s-50s who have gone NC and a cottage industry in ‘ my children have deserted me ‘ web forums
I appreciate my opinion will upset many people and there are many lovely baby boomers.
Unfortunately I’m coloured by my own experience

Not a chance. Sadly same as @HamiltonOak.

Oh yes,when I told them me & my ex were separating (due to abuse on his part) my parents said 'couldn't you have tried a bit harder'!!!!

No. They wouldn't know how. It would worry my mum too much and my poor dad would see it as moaning.

Practical problems only (and then only if I can't solve it myself). Emotional problems I struggle on alone. My dad doesn't give a toss, my mum is very much a stiff upper lip type and doesn't believe in depression or counselling or anything like that. Quite sad really. If I had kids I'd hope I'd be their first port of call.

70s child and 80s teen here. I think my parents generation (boomers) had to get on with it as children as they grew up in the shadow of their parents were the 'important' war generation- remember so much about the greatest generation from my grandparents and the war was still so fresh in society in the 70s/80s - and so that way of raising children passed onto us as gen Xers. My mum and dad are wonderful and have always been there to support me and my siblings through difficult times. They are definitely less huggy etc than I am to DC though and growing up DF couldn't cope with any emotional stuff from me or my siblings. I do think it was far more adult centred in the 1970s/80s than now but I am fairly resilient because of my upbringing I think and I worry about the child centredness of everything today for when today's children/teens become adults. My parents were young (as many boomers were) when they had me but I was young for a gen Xer too when I had DC1 (just turned 25). I am one of the lucky ones to have had a great childhood.

My parents were completely closed off to me. Never touched me either. Lots of expectations which they were very vocal about. Failed to see me for who I am and took away a couple of opportunities which could have been amazing for me. Has left me feeling very disconnected from them.

Yes I would. They're happy to provide practical support (but we live 250 miles apart so there are obviously limits to what they can do) Mum had her own mental health struggles so understands that kind of thing. That said I'm pretty happy and stable so don't have any real mh crisis to share.

Sorry! Should have RTFT before I posted first time But this a million times . . .

These days my mum tends to lean on me and I find it exasperating that I have to show her the support that she couldn’t for me when I was younger.

Oh goodness this sums up my parents (and my feelings) exactly.

Like others my parents just don't want to be burdened with it. To be fair my dad deals with a lot of issues with my brothers so perhaps is a bit tired of providing help and advice.

When my partner of 10 years and I separated they said nothing and didn't want to talk about it with me. Not even a 'how are you?'

Their behaviour seems to be due to a lack of interest in others which has gotten worse as they've aged. It's a really ugly quality.

Not in a million years would I have had support from my parents, I left home at 20 and I was very much on my own.

Not really as they are catholic and their faith guides/clouds all their thinking.
I was brought up catholic but not sure if I ever believed. Very much an atheist now.

Some people are sympathetic/empathetic. Some families are supportive, some aren’t. Nothing to do with generations- it’s always been like that. My mother was born in 1920 and her father was a loving and supportive figure in her life until he died. My young adult children have friends whose parents are cold and emotionally distant now.

My mum is fantastic at practical support and is financially supportive too but I would never in a million years go to her with anything emotional or medical or moral. She would just get embarrassed and that would manifest itself it her pointing out all the flaws she has invented for me. I do have many flaws but not the ones she thinks I have. I don’t tell her anything personal at all. I still haven’t told her I’ve started my periods or that I’m bisexual or that I’ve had writing published or I practice a faith or basically anything that she would twist to make me look self indulgent or lazy or feckless or think. I know she loves me though. She’s just so damned embarrassed by any expression of feeling or admission that you inhabit a messy, female body. Same with my sisters who are similarly condemned for different reasons.

They were bemused if I asked or expected emotional support so I stopped asking.

They would expound widely on practical matters but I realised quickly it was of little use.

They had and have very little idea of who I am.

When I talk to friends about how we ended up at university we all seemed to fall into it with no support. I realise my parents (I was the first generation to go to uni) didn't know a lot but they didn't ask or show an interest.

I sorted everything out place, grant, accommodation everything.

Not quite the right age (I’m 44) but I could talk to my mum about pretty much everything. She’d listen to my stories of my own and friends trials and tribulations as a teen and was fantastic when I had PND. She’s not here anyone. So miss talking to her.