To consider going to a strip club cheating?

[DonaldDucksTowel]

DP went out last night and was home much earlier than I was expecting, I asked him why and he said everyone had gone to a strip club so he got his kebab and came home

As the conversation went on he basically expected me to be very grateful that he didn’t go and came home early instead so I said “I’m supposed to be super grateful that you didn’t cheat on me, pay for the privilege and exploit a load of vulnerable women in the process? Get a fucking grip!” And basically we got into a bit of a ‘stripclubs aren’t cheating, yes they are’ back and forth for a while

I don’t understand how having a naked woman rub herself all over you would ever not be cheating - and even worse in a strip club than if you were just at a party because you’re actually paying for it! If it was a prostitute it’d be cheating so why not a stripper?!

He thinks I’m being dramatic
Do you consider going to a strip club cheating?

I wouldn't consider it cheating per se (as long as he didn't get a dance/kiss/slept with anyone) and went because mates wanted to (I'd be fine if he just had a drink, but I guess you can never know what really happened!) but I would definitely be questioning whether I would want to be with someone who supports going to strip clubs, it's just gross! 😖

Honestly, scratch that- I'd hate for him to go to one!

I worked in a strip club for a bit, I wasn't a dancer if that matters but I definitely know the industry. Please dispell the myths that strippers are exploited. They know exactly what they are doing. They are making great money doing their jobs, you may not like how they are doing it, but a vast majority of them are not victims. You would be surprised how many are working mothers or college students trying to avoid student loans.

Tell me - how do you know that the porn you watch is ethical? How do you know that those women are not being coerced? Raped even?

I also did not say that all porn is rape fantasy - you misunderstand what I am saying.

Reading erotica is not an issue - why would it be?

Seriously!? No. YABU it's definitely not cheating Have you even been to a strip club - romantic and sexy it is not! My OH has been to strip clubs on stag do's and I'm not bothered in the slightest!

Of course women that pay men to strip are vile too. But there is a very different power dynamic at play there.

Telling me that I am unhinged and crackers because I don't think that men who go and see strippers are good people just shows what a number the patriarchy has done on you.

Tell me - would you be happy for your mum to be involved in 'mature' porn films? Or for your daughters to strip or star in 'barely legal' porn? If not, why not?

I think that burlesque is ridiculous and the notion that it 'empowers' women is ludicrous. If prancing around half naked is so empowering why don't powerful men do it?

Clue - it isn't empowering at all.

I was a stripper, I have friends who do porn. Your imagining it’s poor trafficked women who don’t have a choice and that’s so far from reality.
Porn I wouldn’t like but if my mum or daughter wanted to be strippers then good for them, it’s great fun and easy money

It’s empowering because you become this confident, sexy woman and you put on a show like any entertainer. Nobody makes you do anything you don’t want to do.

fightthenewdrug.org/by-the-numbers-porn-sex-trafficking-connected/

Sandbox do men feel the need to strip to be 'sexy and confident'. If not, why not?

@starcrossedseahorse you are very close minded, judgmental, and make sweeping generalisations that are based on assumptions. I'm not going to waste my time discussing these topics with you.

I am happy to discuss. Please explain to me why you would be happy for your mum/daughter to strip or be in porn films - I am listening.

@starcrossedseahorse nah, im alright thanks. Im not going to indulge your distorted opinions

Oh and for the record i never said anything about wanting my family members involved in the industry. Please dont put words in my mouth

@starcrossed - you’re confusing issues, ie sex trafficking/rape/violence and women and men willingly taking part in and enjoying their jobs in the sex industry. Believe it or not the latter is incredibly common. I read erotica, write erotica watch porn, go to strip clubs, have had lap dances, know strippers. They’re very , very happy and many are feminist.

I think you need to acknowledge the fact that women actually enjoy sex and some really enjoy showing and sharing their sexuality ..... and being paid for it. Why don’t you go to a strip club and speak to a few

Shame that you cannot answer my questions. Tells its own story really.

@Strongmummy thats an interesting view point and i really agree with you. God forbid a woman we vocal about enjoying sex

Funny how nobody mentions men in the stripping and porn industry

Strong my issues are not with the women in the industry and never have been/will be. My issues are with the men who think it is ok to buy women and their bodies whether this is through strip clubs, porn or prostitution.

smile much advertising does use half clothed women to sell unrelated things - do you think that is ok? What messages do you think that sends to our little girls?

@starcrossedseahorse no is really doesnt. I choose to have interesting discussions with people who would actually be worth spending the time on. Unfortunately you do not seem to be one of those people.

Since you are so interested i have no issues with the porn or stripping industry. If i had a family member who wanted to work in that industry it would be their choice to make and i would stop them if they felt it was empowering and something they wanted to do. I do not have kids but of course I wouldnt be keen on my hypothetical daughter doing it