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Original poster

To consider going to a strip club cheating?

437 replies

DonaldDucksTowel · 23/12/2018 09:56

DP went out last night and was home much earlier than I was expecting, I asked him why and he said everyone had gone to a strip club so he got his kebab and came home

As the conversation went on he basically expected me to be very grateful that he didn’t go and came home early instead Hmm so I said “I’m supposed to be super grateful that you didn’t cheat on me, pay for the privilege and exploit a load of vulnerable women in the process? Get a fucking grip!” And basically we got into a bit of a ‘stripclubs aren’t cheating, yes they are’ back and forth for a while

I don’t understand how having a naked woman rub herself all over you would ever not be cheating - and even worse in a strip club than if you were just at a party because you’re actually paying for it! If it was a prostitute it’d be cheating so why not a stripper?!

He thinks I’m being dramatic Hmm
Do you consider going to a strip club cheating?

OP posts:
GlitterStick · 23/12/2018 20:30

That's a wordpress blog. Anyone can set one of those up and put out their opinions.
I have one Grin

abacucat · 23/12/2018 20:31

sandbox Yep that is realistic as all those adverts about making hundreds every week by working from home for a few hours.

And the truth is that most fulfilling paid jobs, some people do do voluntarily. That is because some people want to do even if they are not being paid. NOBODY strips in strip clubs for free. Which if it was just so much fun as you claim it is, well off women would do.

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 20:32

That article is one persons experience. The people in strip clubs are men, women, couples, stag and hen nights. If pushed into it due to poverty work a few nights and you’ll be straight. Women stick at it because on the whole it’s a fun job with good pay. I have some horror stories as do all work places but becoming a stripper is a choice and a woman’s choice to do that shouldn’t be dismissed due to the very rare horrible things that can happen in the industry

U2HasTheEdge · 23/12/2018 20:33

For me it would be marriage over. It would be a betrayal of my trust and he wouldn't be the man I thought he was.

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 20:33

It is realistic. I’ve worked all over the U.K. I wouldn’t expect to leave work with less than £500 on a Friday or Saturday night. I’ve made over £3600 working six hours on a bank holiday.

Chardeemacdennis1 · 23/12/2018 20:34

I don't consider it cheating. Your not being intermate or touching, it's just watching. Some men go for the novelty or as a right of passage type thing. I would mind if my partner went regularly or on his own, that's pervy and grim, but once in a blue moon as a night out in a group, I don't really think it's a big problem.

Would you consider a burlesque show cheating? Or going to see dream boys?

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 20:34

The clubs wouldn’t let women do dances for free as they take a cut

abacucat · 23/12/2018 20:35

glitterstick Yes it is, because those who talk about the realities are not funded by the porn industry.

PengAly · 23/12/2018 20:36

@starcrossedseahorse good for you. You ask for my opinion and then its not what you wanted me to say so you accuse me of lying? How immature. Also funny how you have no response to those who say a lot of women enjoy it.

Aimeetreasure · 23/12/2018 20:36

Omg hahaha I can't believe you think that is cheating.
That's all I can say because if I try argue for your husband I'll never stop typing.. I would be here all day.
Going to a strip club is NOT cheating. I suppose you also think watching porn or masturbating in private is cheating lol

abacucat · 23/12/2018 20:36

sandbox Yes you have worked all over the UK because the only way you can continue to make good money is by moving around.

smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 23/12/2018 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 20:40

Not at all, I worked every week in a club for 4 years, I left because I wanted to see more of the U.K. I supported my partner and myself travelling for 18 months by working one night every so often.
It’s obviously something you don’t know much about but like with all things, the rare negatives are broadcast to everyone but the daily ins and outs aren’t exciting enough so aren’t spread about. It’s a safe, fun, well paid job and having met hundreds of dancers I haven’t met a single one who was forced into it. The closest I can think of is a Romanian girl who did it purely to send money to her family but she was happy doing it and would rather do that than anything else

F1ame · 23/12/2018 20:40

It really depends on the type of establishment imo. For instance, some clubs are more like a cabaret where the women are at some distance on a stage. Also they don’t strip to nothing. I think that’s a different matter than the clubs where the women really go around hustling and dragging men off for private dances away from the main group. I would say, paying for “extras” like a private dance is cheating yes, absolutely, unless you’re sure your OH would be fine with it.

I personally do have a massive issue with women who claim to be in the porn industry through their own choice and free will. When I stumbled on “Porn Hub” for the first time (I won’t say why), the first video I was confronted with was of a so-called 16 year old being groomed into sexual acts and raped by her “father”. Do these “actresses” ever stop to think - even for one second - about how triggering the material they make for so-called “entertainment” must be for women who have been abused in this way in real life? Do they ever actually engage their brains and think about their fellow women? You know the millions who are victims of incest across the world every minute of every day? I ended up in therapy because particular material was so triggering for me. Claiming to do porn out of “choice” is also a huge slap in the face to the millions of women trafficked into it. You cannot glamorise what amounts to modern day slavery. Even if just a handful of women are exploited in open, other women should take a stand out if basic human respect for those victims. It blurs the lines - how do men watching porn know who is coerced and who is not? And even if the woman made a seemingly free-choice to make that video, how do they know what led her to that point? So no, I have no respect for women who claim to make the free, “empowered” choice to make porn and I think they are an utter disgrace and an insult to trafficked or abused women everywhere. That’s before I even get on to the men.

PurpleFlower1983 · 23/12/2018 20:41

I wouldn’t be happy if my DH got a lap dance but I wouldn’t consider it cheating, just very grim and I’d be pissed off with him for a long time. He knows my views though so I would be shocked if he did.

Imissgmichael · 23/12/2018 20:41

I’d be horrified if my daughter wanted to be a stripper. Men don’t go and watch them because they’re interested in it as an art form. They watch it for sexual reasons. I don’t want my daughter to be treated like some strangers wank machine.

Now to be clear, I’m not saying strippers are all prostitutes, but there seems to be some parallels with the sex trade and it’s hypocritical attitudes. For example, the recent documentary about legal brothels in Germany where the brothel owner couldn’t see the problem of prostitution as a job. Until he was asked if he was ok for his daughters to become prostitutes. The tosser couldn’t hide the look of revulsion from his face and admitted he wouldn’t like it. Like I said, hypocritical.

starcrossedseahorse · 23/12/2018 20:42

Sandbox you are very positive about stripping. Do you think it should be mooted as a career option for school leavers?
If not, why not?

bathtimesanity · 23/12/2018 20:42

@Imissgmichael agree with everything you said.

abacucat · 23/12/2018 20:43

sandbox I do actually know a lot about this, and because of that I take with a pinch of salt most of what you are saying.

In terms of swingers clubs, women and men are having sex that they agree with. Personally I still think it is seedy, but it is different from commercial sex industry. Women stripping and lap dances are performing for men. It is NEVER an equal exchange.

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 20:44

I don’t see why not, it’s a choice just like waitressing, college or apprenticeships.
I actually started dancing after seeing an advert in the job centre!

PengAly · 23/12/2018 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 20:45

I haven’t said anything but the truth so if you know about it why would you need to take it with a pinch of salt? I’ve danced for plenty of women and couples, it’s not just men

PengAly · 23/12/2018 20:46

@Sandbox careful, star crossed will probably accuse you of lying because its not the answer she wanted haha Grin

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 20:47

The first club I worked at was owned by a woman, she was the house mum and it was a great place to work

Strongmummy · 23/12/2018 20:47

Why on earth would they dance for free?!?! A ballet dancer doesn’t dance for free? A musician doesn’t play for free. You can love doing something and get paid for it!!!! It doesn’t make it less because it’s transactional. They’re selling escape and fantasy. What many women on here are doing is wanting to stop women from making good money. That isn’t feminism

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