to say that female on male violence is unacceptable too...

[matthayes76]

Hey,

Hoping some of you guys can shed some light on whether I’m being the monster my partner suggests I am.

We were having a chat and it came out that a woman we know has been punching her husband during arguments.

I was pretty shocked and saddened but my partner dismissed it as not being as bad as if it was the other way round.

That attitude really blew me away.

As far as I’m concerned the violent impulse to hurt and cause physical pain during an argument can never be accepted. Irrespective of the size or sex of the person, we need to use reason and discussion to resolve our differences rather than resorting to violence and intimidation.

Am I being unreasonable?

Would really appreciate some feedback 👍🏻

😬

I'm sorry, but can we not start blaming the dead who can't defend themselves!!

This thread is getting toxic

I'm sorry, but can we not start blaming the dead who can't defend themselves!!

Like I said, I really don't want to believe it, but would you say the same about Saville? I don't know what to believe. It wasn't me that said it, it was Peter Hook, and has been widely quoted.

It's derailin.

The question was, well, you can see.

The answer is no-one disagrees that violence is wrong.

Well there was a fuck-ton of evidence against savile. Only evidence again CA is her ex...

Don't stoop any lower spidey.

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/peter-hook-caroline-aherne-abuse-11970652

Please stop this defaming of dead woman.

You do realise this is an abusers tactic?

Really yuk.

ChristmasSprite....some may see it as derailing, others may see it as opening up the discussion.

This has to stop.

I was suspicious of this thread title asiy makes no sense; the true intent is being shown. Defaming even dead women.

It's gross

Oh FFS.

I'm not saying whether she did or didn't. I'm only reporting what's already widely out there and was reported by her ex husband, not me.

I'm out of here, as it appears I'm the one who's making the allegations, when I'm not.

No-one said you were, but you are responsible for spreading them because of your pp and the way you suggested it.

I give up.

I haven't suggested it any way. I don't want to believe it, and obviously there are two sides to every story and we've only got one side. But how can I spread what has already been widely reported both in the press and Peter Hook's autobiography?

Such double standards! Even when someone in the article said his behaviour could have been the catalyst for her abuse. Shocking. Violence is violence and unacceptable no matter who is dishing it out.

Just because something is less frequent doesn't mean we should just ignore it.

Women commit suicides less frequently than men do. Women are less likely to be homeless. Should we not care about women who kill themselves? Should we not care about homeless women?

No one said to ignore it. No one said it’s acceptable.

My last word on the matter.....
www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/peter-hook-has-shown-bravery-for-revealing-caroline-ahernes-abus/

I think the article says it well....should Hook have made his allegations so quickly after Aherne's death, or was he brave to do so?

www.wecantconsenttothis.uk

From Aibu. A website cataloguing and campaigning about the increasing number of women being murdered by their partner during sex.

omen commit suicides less frequently than men do. Women are less likely to be homeless. Should we not care about women who kill themselves? Should we not care about homeless women

Women attempt suicide at the same rates

Women are just as likely to be homeless

So yeah ill care about anyone male or female in that position

I hate these sorts of threads anyway so goodness knows why ive posted

No one agrees with violence whichever way its aimed

I am thank you pumper

Weve had a lovely Christmas eve and we are watched scrooged before bed

I say bed..the nearly 20 year old is so excited i dont know when he will go to sleep

Hope you have a lovely Christmas

Utterly bizarre the "what about" and "hierarchy" of abuse / violence responses. All violence and abuse is wrong. Regardless of whether a person is smaller and not able to inflict the same level of physical damage if the roles were reversed, they are still using power to control their partner and the relationship. What about the mental and emotional impact this must have on the victim. Given men often struggle with emotions and communication is it any wonder the male suicide rate is so high with mindsets that it doesn't matter what you do to a man, if he is physically bigger than you then he is big and tough enough to handle whatever you throw at him, verbally, emotionally or physically.

It’s worse when the person hitting is bigger and stronger leaving the victim defenceless. Violence is always unacceptable but when there is a power imbalance the stronger person committing violence is also abusing their power. Of course this isn’t to say that the power imbalance is always in favour of the stronger person. Emotional dependence or socialisation (a real man never hits a woman) also come into play but this is not an absolute power as opposed to a stronger person hitting a weaker person where, in the moment, there is absolute power in that the weaker victim can do nothing but hope that their attacker doesn’t kill them.

Helmet, this is really important
They weren't murdered during sex. They were violently assaulted and sexually abused. Sometimes after an argument, sometimes by someone they didn't or hardly knew.
The abusers claimed it was consensual as a defence. Like they do in rape.

A family member was repeatedly attacked by his wife. He asked for them to go to counselling. She refused. Told other people he hit her. He didn't. He became a shell of himself. Left her eventually but the damage is done now...