Friend asked me not to send him a Xmas card next year

[Loletta]

Felling a bit puzzled and would like to know if I'm being unreasonable to feel like this.
I sent Christmas cards last week. Tonight my DS went out with his friends and asked me to pick him up and give his friend a lift home. The family of his friend was one of the recipients of the cards I sent. When I dropped her off, the dad opened the door and thanked me for the lift and then said "Do you mind not sending us a Christmas card next year please? Just because it's embarrassing. We don't celebrate Christmas".
I'm a bit . I'm not religious and neither is this family but in our family we still celebrate and give each other gifts. I know this family quite well, we've been on holiday together and sometimes hang out at the weekend...I was aware that they don't celebrate Christmas but thought a card would be gladly received as it's also wishing them well for the new year. AIBU to feel it's a bit of an odd thing to say?

Yanbu

I send my lovely neighbours a 'happy holidays' card - they have tons of Christmas cards in their window. They are Muslim and Hindu.

Your neighbours don't 'not celebrate Christmas' - they're actually ANTI Christmas being atheists (rather than agnostics).

Wishing someone good wishes/good thoughts/love/thinking of you and your family is NEVER rude.

I think what HE said was weird and rude. Unless I'm misunderstanding the tone?

We don't celebrate Christmas. But we do give cards to the neighbours and the kids to their friends as they receive them and most don't eve register that we don't celebrate. Its just a card... however if they have asked you not to send one just don't.... It's not exactly the worst request in the world... it is just a card.

Some aetheists make a special effort to distance themselves from the religion they were raised in/they perceive to be their host religion. I know an atheist raised Christian who had a massive relationship breakdown over refusal to attend Christmas Eve mass as a non religious Christmas tradition type thing. I was raised Muslim. I categorically don’t participate in Muslim traditions because it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I love Christmas though. Clearly this friend has a problem either with Christmas or Christianity enough to make both of you uncomfortable to avoid having cards in the future. Just forget about it (and don’t send any more cards!)

They presumably never sent you a card either. In general people would do better to confine Christmas card sending to people they know will welcome it, given that a lot of people actively don't want to receive them. If someone doesn't send one to you and you're on otherwise good terms, there's probably a reason for that.

No wonder the world is in the state it is. I am sorry but if you can't accept a card that has been sent with good intentions, regardless of your "beliefs" then you can't possibly wonder why the world is in the state it is *
Totally agree. This is what is so wrong with society today. Intolerant and perpetually offended people.

I think it's really rude of him! My next door neighbours gave me a " Happy Eid " card during Ramadan. Can you imagine if I handed it back and said " I don't celebrate that. ".

It's a kind thing to do and even if a Christmas card is for some reason really offensive to him, he can just put it in the bin and not say anything.

Agree meadowland.

I’ve had cards from my Muslim relatives - hardly any from the Christian contingent!

The odd thing is sending a card when you know they don't celebrate.

It's a bit "shoving it down their throats" to be fair.

There is so much hypocracy around cards at the moment. You either see the very public and sanctimonious ‘I’m donating to charity instead of card posts’ or the environmental ones. There will be some who genuinely do avoid for environmental reasons but 90% of the people that have said it to me to bugger all else and will be buying their kids vast amounts of one use plastic tat for Christmas so it just doesn’t come off as believable.

I’d rather people just admit they can’t be arsed.

"I’d rather people just admit they can’t be arsed."

I do, as do a lot of people I know. I just say 'I don't do cards'. Nobody's ever complained about it.
I do send an e-card and nobody's complained about receiving it either.

"Do the people yelling about atheists not understand what atheism is? It means that you opt of religion...hence why they don't celebrate Christmas. So, they don't want Christmas cards. How is this difficult to understand??"

It's difficult to understand because MOST ATHEISTS IN CHRISTIAN COUNTRIES do celebrate Christmas and Christmas can be CULTURAL and SOCIAL as well as a religious festival. What's more, many atheists celebrate new year and therefore give cards around this time of year.
Sorry for the caps, but it seems you missed my earlier post.

"perhaps he is 'embarrassed' because they have no intention of reciprocating"

Why would he be more embarrassed than anyone else who doesn't give cards? Loads of people accept cards, but don't give them themselves, it's not an issue.

I don’t think you’ve been rude or dense like other arseholes posters are suggesting. We don’t celebrate Eid and aren’t Muslim, but when our Muslim neighbours brought us food as part of their Eid celebrations we were touched by the gesture.

That said - your friends are allowed to have their own boundaries, and if they don’t want cards I think you should respect that.

Eh??!

How bizarre that you know them “so well” but still sent them a card

This would puzzle me a bit as well.

I’ve received plenty of (non religious) Christmas cards from friends and colleagues before who don’t celebrate Christmas because they’re Hindus / Muslims. Often before I’ve got round to writing out my own Christmas cards.

I’ve also received (non-religious) Christmas cards from atheist friends - and to further confuse things, most of my atheist friends celebrate Christmas in a secular way, with Christmas trees, fairy lights, Santa, presents etc.
So, based on my atheist friends, atheist to me doesn’t automatically equal a rejection of all things Christmassy.

Although now he’s made it clear he doesn’t want anything to do with Christmas, I’d be crossing this man off my Christmas card list in the future.

They're totally rude in my opinion

Unless it was a religious card with nativity scenes etc. on then I don't see the problem. A family member used to always send the old fashion religious ones and they always made me feel a bit weird like they were trying to point out 'the true meaning of Christmas'.
My kids' school makes and sends cards for celebrations from several religions so they bring home christmas, eid, diwali cards. We're atheist but it's still nice. Back when they could be bothered they sent cards to the whole class. I never considered they might offend those who don't celebrate christmas.