Friend asked me not to send him a Xmas card next year

[Loletta]

Felling a bit puzzled and would like to know if I'm being unreasonable to feel like this.
I sent Christmas cards last week. Tonight my DS went out with his friends and asked me to pick him up and give his friend a lift home. The family of his friend was one of the recipients of the cards I sent. When I dropped her off, the dad opened the door and thanked me for the lift and then said "Do you mind not sending us a Christmas card next year please? Just because it's embarrassing. We don't celebrate Christmas".
I'm a bit . I'm not religious and neither is this family but in our family we still celebrate and give each other gifts. I know this family quite well, we've been on holiday together and sometimes hang out at the weekend...I was aware that they don't celebrate Christmas but thought a card would be gladly received as it's also wishing them well for the new year. AIBU to feel it's a bit of an odd thing to say?

You gave him a card. It was meant as a nice gesture and he should have accepted it in that way.
I've given Christmas cards to non Christian friends. Non Christian friends have sent me various cards and gifts for their religious occasions. We have all enjoyed the mutual sharing.
It's all about acceptance and living in a multicultural society.
If something is done as a kind or nice gesture accept it as such even if it is not something you would normally do.
I think he was unnecessarily rude.

I think the an attention seeking arse.

@redandyellow yeah it’s like there is a new excuse for NOT BOTHERING with cards (ie people) - no you are not more evolved green crusaders / above all that...

...you are just more selfish about making an effort to connect in a way that doesn’t involve being liked 200x or having your twig Christmas tree admired.

As for the people who put them straight in the bin. ‘Because they look messy’ - wow new levels of rudeness! Proud of your actions?

It doesn't sound to me like he was rude at all. Asking if the OP would mind not sending one next year seems perfectly polite and I have no idea what the OP is puzzled about. They don't celebrate Christmas, they don't want you to send cards, they've asked you not to send them. What's the big mystery?

He was rude. All he had to do was put it in the recycling. No need for him to say anything at all. It's a card, it's not done with malice, it won't kill him. I don't send any cards and haven't done so for a few years now so I am not pro cards, just pro good manners.

I wouldn't have sent s Christmas card to some one if I knew they actively didn't celebrate but I do think the friend was very rude telling you that it was embarrassing.

I hope he is working on Tuesday and giving someone else the day off

I don't think he was rude at all. Why would you send a Christmas card to people who don't celebrate Christmas? Pointless at the least and offensive at most.

"Asking if the OP would mind not sending one next year seems perfectly polite and I have no idea what the OP is puzzled about. "

It's not polite because it's made OP feel bad. The card was doing him no harm so why make a problem of it? I'd be puzzled as well as I've never heard of this apart from Jehovah's Witnesses. Usually atheists and people of other religions living in mainly Christian countries do accept Christmas cards.

"Why would you send a Christmas card to people who don't celebrate Christmas? "

Because you yourself celebrate Christmas and you want to wish people well at that time of year regardless of their religion?
Because you don't know who does and who doesn't celebrate Christmas. Plenty of people who are not Christians celebrate the Christmas period and/or new year in some way.

Not pointless and not offensive to most non-Christians.

Ffs. They are rude oddballs. If my sons friend sent him a hannuka card I would think that was great and an opportunity to educate the family. Some people are ignorant pigs.

I have just opened a lovely card from a jewish relation. I think it is rude and churlish to tell someone not to send you a card. Many just say “seasons greetings” anyway, or have snowmen or Wintry scenes.
Rude. At least you won’t waste a card next year though !

They've politely asked you not to send a card, and explained why. Why cant you understand you simply need to respect your friends' wishes?
It's a no brainer. Come on. YABU of course.

I receive Happy thanksgiving, Happy Chinese New Year and Eid Mubarak cards from 3 different friends. I don't celebrate any of them!
I wouldn't dream of asking them not to give them to me. How rude.

I think the an attention seeking arse

Totally this. It’s just identity signalling crap. And yy to the poster who said imagine turning away your Muslim neighbours who wanted to share something with you at Eid. You’d be a massive EDL twat if you said no to that but your friend doing this to you is totally cool and we’re all down with that

Whaat? The recipient should now be pleased as the OPs thoughtless & irrelevant card is now "educating them". Riiiight.

"They've politely asked you not to send a card"

It's not polite though.

" and explained why"

They haven't really explained why. They've said their atheists, but most atheists in Christian countries celebrate the cultural aspects of Christmas. They haven't explained what their problem is with getting cards. Not reciprocating really isn't a problem as many people don't do cards these days.

They’re assholes OP, dont waste the price of a stamp on them!

I hope he is working on Tuesday and giving someone else the day off Absofuckinglutely.
The man is a complete bellend ( one word or two?). Who the fook has the time to be offended by a Christmas card? I am getting sick of worthy wankers.

He was rude. If he doesn't celebrate Xmas he should just chuck it in the bin. That's what I do.

Christmas is a cultural tradition in this country and sending a card is a gesture of goodwill. I receive cards early each year from a friend in Asia wishing me a happy Chinese New Year. I just think how kind it was of them to think of me and I'm interested to hear about their celebrations. Why would that be "embarrassing"? My background is Christian but I don't think it's offensive for someone of other traditions to send good wishes! Of course it is bad manners to throw it back in your face. Plenty of atheists here celebrate Christmas as part of our culture and send cards/gifts, so even if you know someone's an atheist that doesn't indicate a "no cards" stance. How could you have known you'd get that reaction? The more goodwill the merrier IMO

They've said their atheists, but most atheists in Christian countries celebrate the cultural aspects of Christmas.
Exactly. Does he refuse to go to Christmas work parties too?

YANBU. It's so rude of them to do this. You're sending a card with good wishes and including them along with your other friends. They should accept it with grace.

It's not polite because it's made OP feel bad.

OP didn't say she felt bad, she said she felt puzzled. Other people in the thread have massively over-interpreted 'puzzled', imo.

They haven't really explained why. They've said their atheists, but most atheists in Christian countries celebrate the cultural aspects of Christmas.

Yes, they have. Their explanation was not that they are atheists, the OP added that info later. Their explanation is that they do not celebrate Christmas. That's their reason and they are entitled to make that choice. They aren't stopping anyone else from celebrating Christmas. They are just politely asking for their choices to be respected.

And yes, I do think he was polite and the OP has not said that she was upset or offended by it, just puzzled.