Friend asked me not to send him a Xmas card next year

[Loletta]

Felling a bit puzzled and would like to know if I'm being unreasonable to feel like this.
I sent Christmas cards last week. Tonight my DS went out with his friends and asked me to pick him up and give his friend a lift home. The family of his friend was one of the recipients of the cards I sent. When I dropped her off, the dad opened the door and thanked me for the lift and then said "Do you mind not sending us a Christmas card next year please? Just because it's embarrassing. We don't celebrate Christmas".
I'm a bit . I'm not religious and neither is this family but in our family we still celebrate and give each other gifts. I know this family quite well, we've been on holiday together and sometimes hang out at the weekend...I was aware that they don't celebrate Christmas but thought a card would be gladly received as it's also wishing them well for the new year. AIBU to feel it's a bit of an odd thing to say?

I open mine, then put them in the bin. Same with birthday cards. I wish people wouldn't send them.

I can't understand why you would send a card to someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas.

He is at fault ! He’s being a prissy little turd.

We have both Jewish and Hindu friends.
We all exchange cards as it's done in the spirit of friendship.

He's extremely rude. I don't like Christmas cards and I have stopped sending them, but I say thank you to people who send them to me. It's hardly an imposition.

He is being rude, not you. He sounds up his own ass. How can it be 'embarrassing' to receive a Christmas card at Christmas? Very odd.

I don't think you're being as unreasonable as people are saying-it's a sign of good wishes-I wouldn't think it's that big a deal? Plus I know it's a shock when someone says something in that way about something you didn't expect

He was rude to mention it and to make you feel uncomfortable. I’m Jewish but send Christmas cards to anyone who sends me one. I don’t have any Jewish friends who would be offended to receive a card and none of them would mention it even if they were. They’d simply not put it up I imagine. He sounds very ungracious and Ill mannered imo.

Ffs. Absorb the well wishes, drop it in the recycling and move on.

Genuinely, a Christmas card caused him embarrassment? 🙄

Exhausting.

I think they're silly for mentioning it and making you feel uncomfortable, when you only sent it with good intentions.

As you say, they are atheists not JW. They are familiar with the whole Xmas care tradition. They don't have to send one back - they don't have to display it or even thank you for it. Seems a bit off to me that they mentioned it. Surely a card is no big deal for a British atheist family.

We are Jewish and don't send Xmas cards - I have no problem receiving them! I don't put them on display but appreciate the thought. It's really no bother.

He sounds an arse, don’t bother next year.Ive dropped a Mass card to a Muslim family for the second year. I’m friends with a couple of the family and they’ve had some family woes in recent times. I received messages about how touched they were that I’d taken the trouble, I did check first though with the younger family members it would be ok. Obviously I sent Eid cards too.

I wouldn’t send a card to someone I knew was a JW, but you said he isn’t.

Oh God, I thought I was going to get a roasting for my post because I have no patience for this sort of thing. EMBRACE is my mantra. It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, what you practice, if you've gone to the effort to include anybody in your celebrations, then I think they should have the good grace and good manners to be grateful and accept it in the way it was intended. I have so many friends across so many religious denominations and if they actually think of me and include me in that then I am delighted! The world would be a better place if everybody had the same attitude! My Hindu neighbours are the best...as is their food...and their fireworks and the love that comes with it! Why on earth would you not embrace that? A few years ago I worked in a school, there was a little boy who was from a JW family, yet the school made the effort to include him even if it was just "seasonal greetings", he was so angry and unhappy and it was horrible to see. I don't get it. Respect eachother, make time for eachother....

Pompous and rude of him.

They don't celebrate it so there's no need for a card... I don't know why a card would be sent if you already knew this.

They have politely told you so respect their wishes and move on.

New Year card???

Oh, I don't know. My mum has a good friend who is JW. Mum doesn't give presents - I had a good chat with her in the early days of their friendship when she felt sorry for the children (they were a lot younger than me and her concern was that they would get bullied at school, bless her). But she does send a card and as someone who now knows a lot of people of different religions and none, no-one tries to convert me, and the card or invite to a celebration is taken in the spirit of someone thinking about me at their special time of year.

Who does that though? Who actually says please don’t send me a Christmas card? It’s a pleasant and appropriate gesture at this time of year. They are at liberty to chuck it straight in the bin if they want.

TheformidableMrsC - absolutely agree with you.

Yidette86 "They have politely told you so respect their wishes and move on"

I agree with the second part. But the guy calling it "embarrassing" was not polite.

I don't celebrate Christmas but still like receiving cards and send some, too. As long as they are not full of religious imagery or talk about Jesus, it's just a nice gesture to let someone know you're thinking of them.

Strange of him to put it like that anyway. How is it embarrassing?

Respect their wishes, ok, but for them to describe it as embarrassing, that's just rude.

I, as an affirmed atheist, love getting cards. People of all religions, I'd be delighted that you'd even think to include me in your time of celebration. I especially liked it when I had Eid celebrating neighbours who gave me food. I enjoy the Diwali fireworks.

This man was rude.

He sounds like a precious hipster knob.

YANBU - they are being dickish.

You wish them well from you. Fucks sake. It was a card. They could just have chucked it in the bin but instead they are so sanctimonious, they wanted to make it A Thing. They’ve used your good wishes to make you feel uncomfortable.

“They’re atheist”

They sound like those insufferable atheists who are otherwise so dull they make it a facet of their personality, and need to let everyone know. I say that as an atheist.

He had the choice between saying nothing and throwing the card in the bin or offending a friend by making a thing about a non-issue.

Next year I’d make a donation to the Salvation Army on his behalf, the miserable turd.

He was polite and honest. I think it’s refreshing. I think he’s a better person than me. My Xmas cards just go straight into the recycling along with the takeaway menus and junk mail. I feel guilty about it every year.

He might think its just a waste of a card? If they don't display or keep cards, what's the point in you going to the effort to do a card that will simply be popped into the recycling bin?