Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how we’re supposed to adopt and not shop if rescues are so strict?

213 replies

elisabethhh · 22/12/2018 16:35

We were trying to find a dog to rescue but have been turned down by all due to us having a ‘young’ child (I don’t think 10 is very young) and working full time although dog would go to work with DH twice a week and be left for 4.5 hours tops the other 3 days. Surely a loving home where it’s occasionally left alone is better than a cage?

OP posts:
Original poster
elisabethhh · 22/12/2018 16:36

And in the end we have ended up shopping and will be getting a puppy instead

OP posts:
user139328237 · 22/12/2018 16:37

Sorry but the rescues set the criteria for a reason and unfortunately many puppy sellers allow people who really shouldn't be allowed to to buy from them.
It is not suitable to plan to leave a puppy at home for 4.5 hours 3 days a week and it is not sustainable to plan for DH to take a dog to work long term as it may be stopped without notice at any point.

CatToddlerUprising · 22/12/2018 16:38

Would you be able to get a dog walker during those times it’s left alone?

WeirdAl17 · 22/12/2018 16:39

Is it that the particular dog you’ve been interested in is not good with children? Seems silly if that’s a blanket rule. I agree that a loving home where the parents work full time (which is the case for a lot of people with dogs) is better than a re-homing centre.

Original poster
elisabethhh · 22/12/2018 16:40

weirdAl nope she was a Labrador. Don’t think you can get much more child friendly

OP posts:
Curious2468 · 22/12/2018 16:40

I agree the restrictions these days are ridiculous. Your set up sounds fine and you children aren’t young. I think rescues are often twitchy because without knowing a dogs history you can’t guarentee it would be safe around kids so most seem to have a blanket ban on families adopting. It’s a shame really as many good prospect homes must get overlooked

Original poster
elisabethhh · 22/12/2018 16:42

I also don’t understand how 4.5 hours alone is bad. Am I being stupid? I’ve read that dogs can be left for 4 hours and being (sometimes) left for half an hour longer than this (this is the maximum time it would be left so not everyday) doesn’t seem awful

OP posts:
DontCallMeCharlotte · 22/12/2018 16:43

When we adopted we had a huge but not entirely enclosed garden. The home vetting person was quite pragmatic and said "well no right-minded dog is going to run away from this are they?".

Maelstrop · 22/12/2018 16:45

4 hours is the rescue gold standard for leaving a dog alone. Avoid the big rescues, go for breed rescues. Big rescues appear to only re-home to retired people or those who work at home.

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 22/12/2018 16:46

I can understand the rescie’s standpoint. Don’t forget these are dogs who may have been abandoned or ill treated in the past . Leaving such a dog for 4-5 hrs a day would probably be too distressing for it,

BoomTish · 22/12/2018 16:47

We were turned down for rescues as we didn’t have children but the assessor was concerned that that might change and the dog would end up getting stressed by our hypothetical babies.

After ten years of unsuccessful fertility treatment, and a host of medical professionals telling us it would never happen, it was like a kick in the stomach.

Bought our wonderful dog instead.

GobblersKnob · 22/12/2018 16:49

I think there would be hundreds of rescues willing to home to you. The dogs they offer might not be the dog you are looking for. But dogs are not like jumpers, you shouldn't be choosing them on appearance. A good rescue will pair you with a dog that suits your family and where you can fulfil its needs, not just a dog that you think you want.

Booboostwo · 22/12/2018 16:49

Try a smaller rescue that is more flexible.

Keep in mind that a puppy won’t cope being left for 4.5 hours. There are a few threads in the doghouse discussing this very difficulty.

Maneandfeathers · 22/12/2018 16:51

Would you rather they gave you an unsuitable dog?

The criteria is there for a reason, to avoid putting the dog in a situation that isn’t right for it or it being returned.

Orangecushions · 22/12/2018 16:55

Rescue are ridiculous these days. I already have 1 rescue dog and when its companion, a retired greyhound died, I wanted to get another dog. I was turned down by Battersea because my dog “wasn’t interested” in the other dogs she was introduced to - no aggression, just didn’t want to play (she was very nervous at Battersea).

I subsequently re-homed a dog off Gum Tree and took care to introduce them slowly. They now share a bed, a food bowl on occasions and play all the time.

[I wouldn’t recommend Gum Tree as a source for family dogs by the way]

abacucat · 22/12/2018 16:58

I think too many people take leaving dogs at home alone as no big deal, when in fact it is highly distressing for nearly all dogs

krustykittens · 22/12/2018 16:59

We tried to adopt and you would think we were perfect. Two adults that both worked from home, 100ft garden, lived next to a park, loads of experience with dogs but they turned us down because one of our kids was under the age of 12, despite us being able to prove we had dogs all her life and were able to provide references from our vet. I even had someone from the rescue say to me, "Oh, you'll never got one of OUR dogs." That was after six months of turning up at the rescue every day, as they requested, to see any new dogs that had been brought in, filling in the same form every dam day that said clearly we had two kids, one of whom was under the age of 12. So we shopped.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 22/12/2018 16:59

weirdAl nope she was a Labrador. Don’t think you can get much more child friendly
There are plenty of Labradors in rescue precisely because the wrong people bought them in the first place and they are now not child friendly, not dog friendly, can’t be left alone for any length of time, have guarding issues etc. I’ve rescued three Labradors and fostered others. A good rescue will know exactly the kind of home that is suitable for a particular dog.

Orangecushions · 22/12/2018 17:00

I think too many people take leaving dogs at home alone as no big deal, when in fact it is highly distressing for nearly all dogs

Whereas being in a kennel environment is ideal

Meadowland · 22/12/2018 17:01

How can 4.5 hours alone in a nice home be worse than 24 hours alone in a rescue cell ????
Makes me so mad that there are such lovely families willing to adopt but are turned down.

abacucat · 22/12/2018 17:02

No of course not. But I suspect rescues want the best for their dogs, not just to go to a not quite as bad environment.

YahBasic · 22/12/2018 17:03

YY to the smaller and the overseas rescues.

BlueThesaurusRex · 22/12/2018 17:03

10 year old child too young?! That’s bonkers Xmas Confused

stayathomer · 22/12/2018 17:03

Even if it's a lab the fact it's a rescue means the dog mightn't be as child friendly? I'd say it's equally for you and the dog, maybe it's that particular dog or maybe they need people without children so the dog can have more time dedicated to them

Noqont · 22/12/2018 17:05

A kennel would be far more distressing to a dog, with other distressed dogs around it, than a loving home would be. Even if that family did leave the dog for 4.5 hours.

Swipe left for the next trending thread