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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how we’re supposed to adopt and not shop if rescues are so strict?

213 replies

elisabethhh · 22/12/2018 16:35

We were trying to find a dog to rescue but have been turned down by all due to us having a ‘young’ child (I don’t think 10 is very young) and working full time although dog would go to work with DH twice a week and be left for 4.5 hours tops the other 3 days. Surely a loving home where it’s occasionally left alone is better than a cage?

OP posts:
Slightlycoddled · 22/12/2018 17:49

I agree op. The rules and regs have gone too far. After all what's so great about a kennel environment? Even if they have dedicated staff, with so many dogs to look after, they can't give a dog the sort of attention it gets in a family home.
Most kennels are very stressful places for dogs.

And if the child in the home is over nine, they could treat potential adopters (especially ones who have had dogs before) as though they have half a brain and are capable of making a reasonable decision. You can winnow out the truly clueless/opportunist with a couple of very direct questions and a small adoption fee.

Kristy that is nuts!

Grumpos · 22/12/2018 17:50

You’ve never had a puppy before if you think you can leave it for 4.5 hours on it’s own. Confused

Not all rescue centres apply such rules, lots do for good reason. However you could also rescue by rehoming privately or going to smaller rehoming centres - local charities, not dog trust for example.

Good luck with the puppy, very much recommend getting a dog walker and going to puppy classes!

animallikeyou · 22/12/2018 17:53

I know this sounds crazy but our beautiful lab actually loved spending time on his own!

That said, not all dogs are the same and I haven’t got another dog for this reason. I miss him so much.

Snog · 22/12/2018 17:57

I'm looking into adopting an adult dog.
I don't work but I am on a course which would mean that once a week I would need to leave the dog for 4 hours.

DH could possibly pop in for half an hour but not necessarily every week. We have no kids at home.

This would be my first dog and I'm looking for a calm relatively low energy dog. Am I wasting my time approaching rescue centres?

icannotremember · 22/12/2018 18:02

The rspca cat rescue here insisted we go and meet their cats first and reserve one, then they did a home visit and said it all looked good, then they called the next day and said actually no you're too close to a busy road. Two others wouldn't even reply to messages. I adopted oup990ķt old girl from gumtree

Slightlycoddled · 22/12/2018 18:05

Snog if you are willing to look after an older dog (and any potential medical issues/vets fees that may eventually come with it) you could ask for a rescue centre to look out for a dog who's owner has become too ill or old to look after it properly. Sadly, this happens quite a lot and it sounds like you could give a very distressed older dog a great home! I know two people who did this and in both cases the match worked very well.

icannotremember · 22/12/2018 18:05

... uh not sure what happened there!

I adopted our older girl from gumtree , her family had has a baby who was allergic and couldn't keep her. Our younger one came from the childminder's house when her mum, who everyone had thought was male apparently, one day produced 3 kittens.

I find the cat rescues a bit annoying tbh. No wonder they are full to bursting if they're so restrictive about who they rehome to.

whojamaflip · 22/12/2018 18:12

We had this earlier in the year where we were turned down because our garden wasn't secure - we live in the middle of a 240 acre farm! Have had dogs for the last 25 years, youngest dc is 10 and we were looking for an oldie to give a revue dog a happy retirement - we both work from home so the dog would rarely be left on its own but no we fell at the unsecured garden bit Sad

Needless to say we are still looking......

Lovemusic33 · 22/12/2018 18:17

I have tried to adopt from cat rescues and been turned down due to living near a main road (the main road has a 30mph limit through our village). A friend then gave me a kitten who is now 7 years old, he rarely leaves the garden let alone go near the road.

Solasshole · 22/12/2018 18:22

Some rescue centres have their heads so far up their arses it's a wonder any animals ever get adopted Hmm I encountered so many who had a blanket "no indoor cats" rule when I was trying to adopt last year. I finally found one who where happy to adopt a suitable cat to an indoor home and I have my 2 cats now. They have zero desire to go outdoors and would much rather sleep on the sofa all day long, ridiculousto think another adoption group would have insisted they go to a home where they can go outside when they don't even want to. (Not all cats are happy to be indoor only cats obviously but there are always some who have no desire to go outdoors.)

Lovemusic33 · 22/12/2018 18:31

solass my cat rarely goes out, he does have the choice and will go out to go to the toilet (in my garden) and will sunbathe in the summer. Cats can be fine indoors but I wouldn’t want a house cat.

Yes, some rescues are a bit too strict. The ones here seem to be ok and don’t have too many rules (depending on the dog). Some dogs are ok with being left for a few hours, probably more so older dogs.

Tatiebee · 22/12/2018 18:32

@snog a retired greyhound would be ideal for you, they only need a couple of 20 min walks each day and are happy to snooze in a comfy spot the rest of the time. I'd recommend trying the Greyhound Trust.

Bibijayne · 22/12/2018 18:34

My retired parents were turned down. Despite having a huge enclosed garden.

Write · 22/12/2018 18:36

I actually agree with you OP.

CaptainPovey · 22/12/2018 18:44

@icannotremember

Same here, went to visit Cats Protection rescue centre.

They sent an assessor and she said no because we live on a main road - house is set back though. My husband was devastated; we had just lost our cat to thyroid disease and he missed having a little animal running around.

We then asked our vet if they had any rescues and they said they would let us know. Few days later, they called and asked for us to come in a see a cat.

When I got there it was a mother and 5 week old kitten that had been abandoned. The mother had a terrible crush injury on her front paw and she nearly lost it.

I spoke to the vet who had operated and said (because of the injury), I don't know. I have to think about it.

Came home and spoke to my husband and he said yes, doesn't matter about the injury. I called them back and they ok'd us to have them.

The main reason they agreed is because I said I have to think about it. It could potentially have been very difficult for us, but because I did not say instantly yes they were happier.

Ha!! The buggers don't go anywhere near the main road - too much noise and Freddi (mum cat) climbs trees and fences and all sorts.

If anything happened to our girls God forbid, I would go back to the vet and ask them for a rescue. We have a track record and our girls are chipped and regularly vaccinated so they know we would be good owners

Snog · 22/12/2018 18:58

@Slightlycoddled and@Tatiebee
Thank you both for the advice.

Greyhound sounds good except that I'm worried if I could let him off the lead in case he chased other animals? Also I have an old cat so maybe not whilst she is still with us? But I probs won't adopt a dog whilst I still have my cat tbh. I'm worried she may not last a lot longer 😔 hence thinking about a dog in the future.

What are greyhounds like as pets? Anyone have one?

I'm not really keen on adopting an older animal with health issues , I don't want the stress or cost of extra vet visits and I want my dog to be with me for a long time!
Happy to pay for health issues if they turn up once I have my dog of course, and will have insurance anyways but I'm not looking to take on existing conditions.

oblada · 22/12/2018 19:08

Primate breed rescue / smaller rescue centres are usually much more accommodating.
It's ridiculous to suggest a dog cannot be left at home for any significant period of time.
And circumstances change anyway.
Our 10yrs old dog is currently on his own during the day for about 2.5 days in the week. Happy as Larry. 2 days i work from home.
In the past there were various spells of me on mat leave (3 times), my mother in law at home all the time (2-3 months every year), me studying full-time (1yr), DH studying full-time (1yr) and a bit during which both DH and I worked FT away from home. At that point we'd get a dog walker to break the day.

Tatiebee · 22/12/2018 19:08

Although "retired", greyhounds are actually only a couple of years old when they stop racing, even younger if it's just because they're not fast enough. Some don't have much of an instinct to chase and run so are just discarded. I have a 4 year old grey who retired just before he turned 3 as he never won a race, he's a great big softy and grey with the children (he pretty much just ignored them and they're not all that interested in him). He's very lazy and sleeps most of the time but is still playful when out in the garden or on walks. We were advised not to let him off lead when we first got him but he's recall is good now, I do let him off lead but call him back if there are lots of other dogs around as his size can be intimidating for some people. Some dogs are cat trainable however your older cat might not take to ki fly to a dog in her home!

Dongdingdong · 22/12/2018 19:11

Smaller rescues are best. We adopted our two cats from one and literally turned up with two carriers and left with them an hour later. I didn’t need a home check in my view, I knew our large enclosed gaden, cat flap, quiet cul de sac etc were fine plus I also wouldn’t need told about getting a vet, insurance etc (always have it).

Your post completely misses the point of home checks. If anyone is allowed to walk in and take cats within the hour then I think whichever shelter you got yours from is being seriously reckless and irresponsible.

Gushpanka · 22/12/2018 19:15

We got turned down by battersea as we had boxes still to unpack from our move and no fence (although we explained we would fence once we knew what kind of dog we would get) plus kids of course.
We did find a smaller and more flexible rescue and adopted a then 5 year old dog from a family with cjildren. 9 years later he's still with us and we adore him.
The rescues can be strict but some of the smaller ones are more flexible, especially for older dogs.

Gushpanka · 22/12/2018 19:17

And we often have left him all day with a dog walker coming to walk him in the middle of the day. Most dog owners who work do this. Yanbu

FlamingoPoet · 22/12/2018 19:17

The big rescues have got totally daft with restrictions these days. I guess as they might be at fault if a child was bitten etc.
I was recently interested in a large breed dog at a rescue. On paper I’d be turned down, we have five kids, five other dogs, two cats. All the things this dog couldn’t have. You had to have no kids, no other dogs (although be an experienced dog owner), no cats, financially stable but not work..etc etc. JUst insane. So this dog had been rehomed three times already to very young couples who all couldn’t cope and appropriate homes might not have bothered applying.
Breed rescues, private rescues and freead pages for dogs needing rehoming probably the way to go.

SaveKevin · 22/12/2018 19:20

We wanted to adopt two guinea pigs.
They wanted a letter from my vet, a home visit and a copy of my tenancy.
Whilst I understand they want the best possible home for their animals. Sometimes it seems impossible and it’s no wonder an impulse from pets at home seems easier.

CSIblonde · 22/12/2018 19:25

Avoid the national charity rescues & go to private rescues. (there are loads in London & Warwickshire where I've lived). They are far more likely to have case by case approach rather than set & rigid rules IME.

RedPandaFluff · 22/12/2018 19:35

I agree, @elisabethhh - a few years ago I approached a German shepherd rescue centre, but we were turned down on the basis that we lived in a flat. Fair enough, you might say, BUT:

  • my partner was self-employed and worked outdoors, so would have taken the dog with him every day
  • the flat was huge - much bigger than a couple of houses I've lived in
  • we had our own garden, not a shared one
  • the primary reason the rescue gave us was that we had a first floor flat and the stairs aren't good for shepherds. But . . . houses often have stairs!

I was quite shocked that we were turned away and still think it was very short-sighted of them.