To ask how we’re supposed to adopt and not shop if rescues are so strict?

[elisabethhh]

We were trying to find a dog to rescue but have been turned down by all due to us having a ‘young’ child (I don’t think 10 is very young) and working full time although dog would go to work with DH twice a week and be left for 4.5 hours tops the other 3 days. Surely a loving home where it’s occasionally left alone is better than a cage?

I think too many people take leaving dogs at home alone as no big deal, when in fact it is highly distressing for nearly all dogs
Understood. But if the alternative is months in a cage surrounded by barking dogs at a rescue centre, I'm not sure the dog wouldn't rather 4.5 hours, followed by happy family time?
I think people who have to leave their dogs at home occasionally really should have a dogwalker, friend, or family member pop in.

Many of the reasons people are citing for being turned down for are the reasons why so many pets end up at rescue shelters in the first place so they are justified in being cautious. I'm involved with a small cat charity and we are contacted on a weekly basis by people who want to surrender their cat because they are too busy to look after it now they have kids/don't want a cat around now they are expecting a child/old cat is too stressed by their three under-10s etc. etc.

Same with rental properties. Even if your current landlord is fine for you to have a cat or a dog, if you have to move, the next one may not be. Moving house and not being allowed to take the pet is probably in the top 3 reasons for rehoming.

In my experience, if people's situations are not ideal "on paper" (i.e. young children, small indoor-only home, busy road), they have the best chance of being accepted to adopt if they are flexible and understand the charity knows those particular cats and cats in general much better than the adopter in most cases. If you live in a one bed flat and work 40 hours a week, that fluffy, active kitten may not be the right match for you but the 8 year old, calm adult cat may be a great match.

There are rescues who will happily rehome to people in your situation, mainly rescuing dogs from Eastern Europe where strays/lost pets are often kept in awful conditions or killed inhumanely.

I've met a lot of lovely Romanian rescues. I think those charities are more lenient because the alternative to finding those dogs a placement is so much worse than what happens in the UK.

That's not to say that the dogs are all easy going- rescue from those circumstances can cause trauma and result in behaviours that need a lot of work.

Rules ate there for the animal's welfare and to minimise the chance of it not settling and being returned, which causes untold extra stress and problems for the animal itself.

If you aren't suitable for adoption, which it sounds like you aren't, find a reputable, KC registered breeder instead.

We adopted and ours was a pup when we got her. I was a student so at home a lot but once we were both working, dog walkers, lunchtime visits and parent visits were the norm. We are both self employed now and a huge part it it was so we could be at home with our dog all day.

I'm a home checker for any dog rescue that asks and have homechecked for 30 ish different rescues.
All of the criteria are different. Some rescues have a blanket ban on kids under a certain age. Some do it on a dog by dog basis.

Please understand that these rules are for both the family and the dog too. They would like to make sure that the adoption is a successful one as returning a dog is very upsetting for the family and distressing for the dog.
If they have a blanket ban for these things that should have been clear on their website or application form.
If you got as far as a Home visit and rejected on the age of your children it would be down to the maturity of the children at your home visit, and provisions for ensuring that they would not be left alone together. I've been to home checks where they said the 10 year old is going to walk the dog by themselves or be responsible for their care...absolute nope!
For a dog that's happy with his own company, 4.5 hours is manageable as a daily maximum to be left alone. But dogs like this are few and far between. Set up a camera and take a look at how a dog frets when you leave the house.

I think people dismissing the situation out of hand are being quite ridiculous really. Even if big rescues have to have standardised one size fits all policies, I can't believe individuals on this thread can say that the OP shouldn't have a dog purely on being left 4.5 hours and having a ten year old. You are aware that many many dogs in the country will be in a similar situation and are absolutely fine?!

OP we rescued three dogs, one from a small rescue and two privately. On paper we would have not passed the requirements but we were relatively experienced owners and willing to work through the (sometimes significant) problems the dogs had. They all lived with us happily to the end of their natural lives and improved immeasurably from the physical and mental situation they came in. If I were able to get another dog now (which I can't as I work 10 hours a day, not 4), I would go for a breed rescue without a doubt where they are a bit more knowledgable about the quirks of that particular breed and their suitability for different situations.

This thread just proves why rescues have to be so strict.

Yes, some dogs do need to be walked away from other dogs because they can be dog aggressive and very difficult to handle. Yes, some dogs do need a home with few visitors as they can become stressed and fearful with strangers invading their homes. Some dogs do have demanding and challenging needs.

And to top it off here come the inevitable get a dog from abroad suggestions! This is a shockingly irresponsible suggestion. Many dogs who come from abroad have been street dogs. They did not have a correct early life socialisation with their mother, were never socialized with humans, had to hunt for food, and the night spend months in kennels. They may turn out all right but they may not.

I have a six month old puppy that was dumped and spent time on the streets in our town. He is a lovely dog BUT at six months he still soils inside because he was never taught the difference, he jumps on the table and kitchen surfaces to steal food, he takes food from everyone’s hands because he was starved and had to find food for himself. These are not behaviours that everyone can put up with.

Read the threads on here to see how easily people freak out about their pets. My friend run a small rescue and used to circulate the reasons people had surrendered their dogs every year. They included inevitable new babies and new landlords, but also grew too big and even doesn’t match the curtains!

Having said that, of course you build up to leaving the dog in the house so indeed would not leave a puppy for 4 hours. Even when we got our cat, 10 years ago as a kitten (bought as again our circumstances would not have passed Battersea's requirements) we had to take time off work while he was young

He has a condition that means he may not live his full natural life and when he sadly leaves us, we will buy again as we live on a road so wouldn't be allowed to adopt.

I was u see the impression that rescues were so strict because it’s is common for rescue dogs to have additional needs.

The last time we rescued a dog the rehoming centre met the children, at the time we had a 2 year old and 7 year old. They checked that our garden was suitable (fences needed to be made higher as we wanted a retired greyhound and apparantly they can jump really high!) The centre then introduced us to the dogs they had that were more relaxed and not jumpy as they wanted to us to chose one that would fit into a household with children. I can't remember what we were asked about work. I didn't work at the time but after a few years I got a job that meant leaving our dog for 5 hours twice a week.

Maybe try a different rehoming centre as they may have different rules.

The home assessor isn't just assessing your circumstances. They are also assessing you, and whether you know what you're in for.
The biggest thing the rescues want to avoid is bounce-back.

Getting a rescue isn't the same as getting a puppy. Rescue dogs come with baggage, and bounce-back can be the difference between a successful integration into a family, and a fearful and shut down dog.

People who have never owned a dog or haven't really been responsible for one quite often have very unrealistic ideas about how much work it can take to rehabilitate a rescue - mostly it's love, reassurance and patience, but those things are usually required in vast quantities. If the rescue centre gets it wrong it can ruin the dog, so there is a huge amount of pressure to match successfully.

I got my big boy from Spain when he was only 16 weeks, but he was bewildered, and terrified and it took months and months before he trusted me. Once, my husband shouted upstairs to one of our sons about something and my poor dog dropped to the ground and wet himself in terror.
You have to unpick their past because you never fully know the back story.

The dog will settle if managed properly and soon enough you would have no idea it had ever had an issue, but if you aren't there for that time to put the work in, it won't happen.

So the rescues are strict for a reason, and people who are planning to change their situation if they need to, have a young child who has young friends and may spook the dog, and work full time leaving the dog unsure and afraid for hours, have an awful lot of red flags.

Are dogs now only for the unemployed, retired and SAHM's?

Rescues are strict because they have to be. The dogs have already had a shitty life so it would be bloody irresponsible to hand them off to the first person who showed a vague interest.

That said, some rescues have ridiculous standards as there is no such thing as a perfect home. If it's a choice between a home with some compromises that could be made to work with an owner who wants to love and care for the dog and knows there will be some graft involved, and leaving the dog in the kennel - then I'd go with the home every time.
The longer a dog stays in kennels, the less likely it is to be adopted. The older it gets, the less likely it is to be adopted.

However rescues need to ensure that prospective owners are ready for the commitment and work involved. I have three and they are all rescues. My old dog was extremely withdrawn and is still clingy and has terrible separation anxiety. My middle dog requires careful handling as she is terrified of other dogs and will try and bolt if she sees them. My youngest dog - who has been here for 2 months - has never been a house dog before and has needed training, including house training, from scratch. Teaching him how to get up and down stairs, to sit, not to jump, snatch, bark etc. Hard enough when it's a tiny puppy but this lad is full size and 40kg!

They are absolutely worth it but it's a huge commitment. We haven't been on holiday at all this year because we can't leave the old dog as he is increasingly senile and doesn't do well with unfamiliar surroundings or a change in routine. Our girl was involved in a horrible accident which cost £3k upfront to sort out until the insurance paid up. Our work obligations are planned around them - I work from home full time but on the occasions when I have to go away, DH has to take annual leave to be here for them. Ditto social arrangements.

We do this all quite willingly because we love them and they are our family members. But lots of prospective owners - especially those who have never had a dog before - really don't realise how much of a tie and a commitment they are. I have first hand experience of this as I have been a long-term supporter of our local rescue (where all of mine came from) and have also done some volunteering for them. Dogs get handed in for the most stupid and selfish reasons, so it's only right that the rescue makes every effort to ensure that they are re-homed with someone who wants them permanently, and not just on a whim because they'll make a cute instagram story (yes, really).

I wish the rules on having children were as strict.

We had the same, really wanted a rescue but due to having a 7 year old we found it very hard, in the end we bought a puppy, wouldn't change it now for the world but would have liked to give a rescue dog a home.

People have to be realistic.

To the poster saying that people aren't entitled to dogs. Well actually we can all have dogs if we want them.... It's a choice amongst others we make. Rescues can put bars to people getting their animals but there are a lot of other options anyway. So putting silly requirements isn't helping anyone.

As for dogs being returned because of change of circumstances and the trauma involved. First it can happen to anyone, loss of job, bereavement, moving to a rental, moving to a different house, pregnancies, change of job etc. So all those fancy requirements from the rescue could be met one day but not the next.... Whereas assessing the person as generally caring and sensible is much safer long term criterion..

Also - we had a rescue dog for a few years. She had a lot more issues that was thought at the time as she had spent a great part of her life in kennels so was actually pretty chilled out there. But at home it was a different story. We spent a great deal of time and money helping her and she improved drastically. However we then had a child and her temperament was such that even after
a few yrs of working with her we could not take that risk. However she was re-homed quite easily as she was much more manageable by then and a much happier dog. So yes in an ideal world we would have kept her but we gave her a good few years and helped her along to her next family. Things do sometimes work out even if it is not quite how we would ideally want them to work out. After all nobody can predict what will happen to them over the next 15yrs that could impact on their abilities to care for a dog. We just do the best we can at any time.

The key is really for the owner to be truly committed to their pet, it shouldn't be a passing fancy.

Resistance I agree with a lot of what you are saying. Rescue dogs absolutely do need special care and attention because of what they have already been through. Equally new owners should be supported more when dealing with the issues that many rescue dogs bring with them. Along with the irresponsible folk, I think there are more people out there than rescue centres acknowledge who don't go on holiday because of their dog (s), make financial sacrifices for them, arrange their working and social lives around them etc or who would be prepared to do so. And that is the right thing to do. Frankly, I would be reassured if someoneblike QOD said they worked two days a week (if satisfactory arrangements for the rescue dog being left were made) because I'd know they are more likely to be able to pay for dog food and veterinary care. Unlike a recently retired woman I know who couldn't pay for her cat's urgent treatment, asked to borrow the money from relatives, and when the relatives wouldn't pay up any more, was too proud to go the blue cross or similar, and the cat died a slow and unpleasant death, being sick with its hair falling out.

Why do the rescues not just speak to your vets if you have had pets of the same type before. Obviously you would have to consent, but ours could tell any rescue we have had large breed dogs consistently for 30 years plus, and that they have all been well looked after. Surely that would be much more evidence than a ten minute visit that we see our animals as part of the family and work through any issues with them.

Are dogs now only for the unemployed, retired and SAHM's?

No, they are only for those who stay at home all time (unless dog walking) without kids under 12, but they themselves are not aged over 60 and own their own home.

If they are unemployed then their may be housing and affordablilty issues, retired people may die and SAHM may have kids that are too young.

Slightlycoddled I agree. My rescue will rehome to people who work, as long as they are happy that there are arrangements in place for the dog's care. They are bursting at the seams and take the pragmatic approach that they would rather have dogs snoozing on someone's sofa than in the kennels. However the breeds that they rehome are not high energy dogs which need a lot of exercise, so this does allow for more flexibility if someone works.

My first boy came to us when we were both working outside of the home and our hours meant he was on his own from 8.30 - 1. He was a lazy little bugger and was perfectly happy as long as he had a sofa to sleep on.

Rescues - especially the independent ones - know which dogs will suit people's living situations. When I was collecting our newest boy, the rescue owner was talking to a couple that had fallen in love with one of the girls there. She was explaining that she'd need to be with other dogs and also wouldn't do well being left alone (they both worked PT). However, she was happy for them to look at a couple of other dogs that needed to go to homes as the only dog and would do well with peace, quiet and time alone.

I specialise in separation anxiety treatment...

A puppy is behaving NORMALLY when he or she cannot cope being left alone, right up until around 9 months of age. By that point IF you have taken the time to train and desensitize them, they should be able to cope with short periods alone. You can then build up to that 4 hours or so.

Puppy or adult dog, any dog that is new to your home is unlikely to cope with being left more than a few MINUTES and teaching them may well take you months of work - if you leave them longer than they can cope before they are ready, then you'll cause problems and slow that process down (or even stop it and create a worse problem).

By all means, full time workers can have dogs - but be prepared to pay someone else a lot of money to spend the time with your dog that you don't have.

I used to own a dog sanctuary but now just work with a handful of smaller rescues and have 4 rescue dogs myself. I too despair of charities making it so hard for loving people to adopt that people then go to breeders.

If these over-zealous rehomers had spent time as I have in rescues in Greece, Romania and rescued dogs from appalling conditions in this country, they would surely not be so obstructive about getting these poor dogs into loving homes. Most rescue kennels may be run by caring people but they are still sterile places in which dogs are kept in solitary confinement and no substitute for a home.

Of course, I quite understand that charities have to be careful but some of the reasons they give for turning down homes are quite frankly ridiculous.

If anyone would like to adopt, do get in contact with a small organisation I help called Dogs Walk This Way. It’s run by a handful of volunteers (who mostly also have full-time jobs) and they don’t have a `tick box’ bureaucratic approach but take things case by case. You don’t have to be a retired couple with acres! Only rehomeable dogs and puppies (that is, healthy and good with people and other dogs) come over a few at a time from Romania to kennels in Berks, where potential adopters can come and visit them. There is full rescue back-up and support and they are always looking for fosterers as well as adopters.

It’s always worth going on Facebook where many smaller rescues have pages (they don’t always have the manpower to design websites). There is always the chance of getting scammed so make sure you find out a bit about them before getting involved or handing over money!

I know of many rescues abroad that struggle with a handful of people looking after hundreds of dogs with hardly any resources who will be delighted if you rehomed a dog - but of course best to meet the dog first which you can at DWTW.

You will even find mistreated dogs for sale on Gumtree – I know Gumtree has a reputation but at least you are saving a dog from god knows what.

While I know that people will quite rightly say there are plenty of dogs that need help in this country but dogs in many countries have an even worse time of it and have no hope at all unless they find homes abroad.

@WiddlinDiddlin

Off topic, but what causes separation anxiety? I have lived in homes with dogs/owned dogs for over 50 years and have never had a dog with long lasting separation anxiety. I have had rescue dogs, inherited dogs and dogs from puppies. I always have 2 and replace a dog that dies with a new one ASAP. The only time I have had an issue is with a greyhound who couldn’t cope when his companion (an elderly and very grumpy JRT) died. He was fine as soon as the new dog arrived.

Maybe it would be a good idea if those of us who have had positive experience with pragmatic rescues to let others know who they are. I can recommend Dogs Walk This Way and Greek Animal Rescue (although the latter won't rehome in London for some reason).

The greyhound trust are great, and very experienced at rehoming.