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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how we’re supposed to adopt and not shop if rescues are so strict?

213 replies

elisabethhh · 22/12/2018 16:35

We were trying to find a dog to rescue but have been turned down by all due to us having a ‘young’ child (I don’t think 10 is very young) and working full time although dog would go to work with DH twice a week and be left for 4.5 hours tops the other 3 days. Surely a loving home where it’s occasionally left alone is better than a cage?

OP posts:
Technonan · 23/12/2018 15:44

They play safe, and they're wise to do so. Our rescue Jack Russell is lovely, but she is not reliable with children, something they didn't know because it's one of the factors in a rescue animal - often they come with little or no history. Our dog does not go for children, but she is terrified of them and if they tried to pat her or stroke her, she would almost certainly snap at them. We have to take appropriate precautions, but it isn't an issue for us as we have no children at home, and when our grandchildren visit, the dog is either on her lead or out of the way. Once the kids got to around 15+, she was fine with them and she's now lovely and cuddly with our two older granddaughters. The rescue centre was being wise and helping you to avoid an unpleasant - possibly dangerous - experience.

distantdog · 23/12/2018 17:16

We got our lovely dog from paws4homesfoundation (Facebook) in Cyprus. We are not in the UK but the other dogs coming over at the same were all destined for the UK. Our one year old dog was toilet-trained, neutered, chipped, vaccinated etc. I don't think it is - as a pp said - "shockingly irresponsible" to say that pps who are being turned down in the UK because they might have a baby (after 10 years of infertility!) or because they are "too old" even though they live with a family member in their 40s, or whatever, could consider looking abroad. They asked and answered a lot of questions about suitability, history etc. Getting a dog - let alone a rescue - is not something you should ever go into with your eyes closed.

Fowles94 · 23/12/2018 17:38

They know what's best for a dog and of you can't follow them guidelines your making a mistake. My dog couldn't be left alone for more than 2 hours at a time.

Fowles94 · 23/12/2018 17:39

Sorry if and you're 🤦‍♀️😂

Countingchickens · 23/12/2018 17:58

This really annoyed us too - for years we wanted a dog but we're turned down for one. DH worked shifts, I was 9-5 and there would be a couple of days where the dog would be on its own so we said we would get a dog walker (this was before day care really took off). Still no. Then I changed jobs, DH went 9-5 and our hours are even better for having a dog but same problem.

In the end we found a dog rescue in Spain who were happy with us getting a dog walker in on days we wouldn't be (4 a month).

The dog is a rescue dog that had spent months as a stray on her own as a puppy and found a feral cat colony. She's got a lovely home, 2 cats for company and lots of doggy friends nearby. She sleeps a lot anyway but can be on her own for up to 5 hours when we're at work.

Sometimes I think it should be more about the dog's needs rather than a blanket number of hours, not all dogs need owners around all day and some are super anxious without them.

Thentherewascake · 23/12/2018 18:00

They are right to try to protect the animals, but I know more than a few people who ended up buying a puppy because they had been refused otherwise.

We bought our 2nd dog from a breeder with a bit of common sense and we got him at Christmas. It made perfect sense for us: we were home, had all the time we needed to settle the new puppy before we went back to work. It's great to find people who are ready to consider personal circumstances, not just a strict strict making no sense.

Sparkles07 · 23/12/2018 18:08

We had a similar issue at the RSPCA. They wanted to give us a rescue that they knew had a history with children, but after a year they never had one! So we went to dogs trust who matched us with a very friendly jack russel who my then four year old loved.
A few months later, a friend got divorced and was sending his jack russel to the rescue, but I couldn’t let that happen so we ended up with two dogs! Oops!

LadySinfiaSnoop · 23/12/2018 18:14

Have you thought of applying for a reject guide dog? There is one near us, young really well behaved lab, it’s only prob was it kept guiding its owner into butchers and bakeries. 😃 xx

Hoppinggreen · 23/12/2018 18:23

We were turned down by a Rescue which often gets a positive mention on here despite being described by them as a “perfect home” for the pup in question
The reason? I got a call on a Thursday to say I had to do a 6 hour round trip to collect it THAT Saturday. We had a cottage booked with friends that weekend so couldn’t. I offered to cut our break short and come on the Monday but I was told no, Saturday or not at all
Ended up buying a puppy ( probably from a puppy farm unfortunately)
I’ve done home checking for CPL so I know the charities have to be very careful but it was risky and very upsetting for the dc (and me) as we had named him and everything

Daisymaybe60 · 23/12/2018 18:40

Cats’ Protection again. We adopted 2 feral kittens from the same litter 15 years ago. We were nearly turned down just because we are “close” to a main road - we’re the twelfth house down from it and our street is a cats’ paradise, with allotments beyond the gardens at the front and fields to the rear. It’s a bumpy dirt road and a dead end, with fields at the bottom, so little traffic and what there is has to go very, very slowly. We also had to promise that we would lock our cat flap at night, “because nasty things happen to cats in the dark”. I meant to keep my word, honest, even though our previous cats had had the right to roam and lived happily till they were 17 years old, and no cat has come to harm on this street in the 30 plus years we’ve lived here. But after a few weeks of them scratching miserably at the cat flap, we opened it - sorry, but some cats love to roam, and how cruel is it to keep them penned in?

distantdog · 23/12/2018 18:53

it’s only prob was it kept guiding its owner into butchers and bakeries

Grin
linsey2581 · 23/12/2018 19:25

4.5 hours to leave a dog on its own is ok. Our Labrador is 4 and when we first got him you couldn't leave him for 20 mins without him wrecking something (he loved chewing cables mainly phone ones!). For those who are saying you cant leave a dog for more than 4.5 hours what exactly do you do when you go to bed for 6+ hours? Dogs can cope so long as you train and care for them properly.

NorthbyNorthwest22 · 23/12/2018 19:35

We never got to the point of home check when looking for a rescue as we found all our local centres were full of larger of much older dogs. We have had rescue dogs before and this time wanted a small young dog. I found an overseas rescue page on Facebook and registered my interest with them. They were really helpful and got back to me when dogs I might be interested in were brought into the centre. They cost was the same as in the uk and they travel over every month and bring the dog to your home. They have uk contacts who do a home check but having a small garden and an 8 year old was no problem for them. They did say they won’t rehome dogs to anyone who works full time but I only work 12 hours over 3 days and again it wasn’t a problem. They also have a great fb page for all rescuers to keep in touch and post updates of your dog. We are now the owners of a chihuahua terrier cross who is about 1 year old 😊

To ask how we’re supposed to adopt and not shop if rescues are so strict?
riceuten · 23/12/2018 20:14

I have dealt with Cat and Dog Rescue places and feel your pain. I distinctly get the impression that some of them are looking for any reason to say no.

ResistanceIsNecessary · 23/12/2018 20:22

For those who are saying you cant leave a dog for more than 4.5 hours what exactly do you do when you go to bed for 6+ hours?

Ours sleep in our room with us!! We're lucky that we have a large bedroom which has room for a big dog bed and a sofa. Young boy likes to stretch out on the dog bed (which is the size of a single bed). Middle dog likes the sofa. Old boy gets the foot of our bed underneath his favourite blanket. Everyone sleeps through the night without stirring (barring some occasional midnight water drinking!), until 6am when young dog's alarm clock goes off and he wants to go out. His bladder is so reliable I have stopped setting my alarm on my phone Grin

KEB123 · 23/12/2018 20:32

I couldn’t rehome from a rescue because I work full time. I’m a vet. Everyone takes their dogs to work. That will never change at a vet practice!! Stopped a dog getting a wonderful forever home. Not helping all the dogs stuck in these places as far as I can see

Angle1234 · 23/12/2018 21:09

I agree they make it hard, m self employed at home all day and cause I have a cat and dog and young Kids I've been rejected but hoping to adopt from overseas now x

Kate0902900908 · 23/12/2018 21:32

YANBU!!!
4.5 hours is perfectly fine on there own when there in a loving family!
Only non working or home workers can have them if that’s the case ?!?!

People willing to rescue an animal should be vetted but from the sounds of it they should have been biting your hand off to give one of them a home.

Buy a puppy from a repeatable breader xxx

Deidre21 · 23/12/2018 21:57

Really shouldn’t be leaving a dog on its own. Will be stressful for either a puppy or a dog. Not fair for them.

Deidre21 · 23/12/2018 21:58

Find a dog walker / dog sitter

Theluckynumberthree · 23/12/2018 22:36

We have just adopted a rescue dog ( 17 week old cavalier cocker cross) from friends of animals. We have 3 children all 7 and under. It helped that we already have two ( elderly dogs) at home. The most our dogs are left is for 3-4 hours once or twice a week but they have the run of downstairs and obviously each other for company

acegod · 23/12/2018 22:54

get some mouse instead. You need to look after them just leave them for 3.5 hrs

MyMyMyMy · 23/12/2018 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 23/12/2018 23:00

Sounds like it's almost as hard to qualify to adopt a dog as to adopt a child.
As it should be. They are sentient beings , that may have already had more than one home. So many people adopt - and return - dogs on a whim. It shouldn't be especially easy to adopt one.

I declined because why would I ever 'test' a dog with my cat
This comment just makes me despair. The pp obviously knows nothing about reforming.

Iwanttobeagranny · 23/12/2018 23:26

We were unable to get a rescue dog because we live in an upstairs flat, despite having previously managed 2 large dogs who both lived to a ripe old age and who were walked twice daily on the beach. Eventually we bought a Gumtree puppy and then also got a rescue from Cyprus, both dogs are now 5 and neither have complained about the accommodation 😂