To ask how we’re supposed to adopt and not shop if rescues are so strict?

[elisabethhh]

We were trying to find a dog to rescue but have been turned down by all due to us having a ‘young’ child (I don’t think 10 is very young) and working full time although dog would go to work with DH twice a week and be left for 4.5 hours tops the other 3 days. Surely a loving home where it’s occasionally left alone is better than a cage?

Absolutely agree. Friend wasn't allowed border collie because fence wasn't high enough. It was a pretty bloody big fence. But had to be 6 ft tall!
Bit like adopting a child nowadays...

We were turned down by a big rescue- I have horses and they asked me if I hunted. I said no, but had done as a child. They turned me down as they didn’t condone hunting. Baring in mind I hadn’t been on a hunt for 16 years....

We’d also been turned down more recently because the dog would be home alone 3 days a week 9.15-4pm 38 weeks of the year despite a daily dog walker for an hour at 11am every day alongside my current dog. The rest of the time there was always someone home. We bought one instead.

Snog that is ample. Set up wise we got a giant crate (was a bargain at £40 from Mole but usually £70) as they like to have a place to escape to and den - not for locking them in! Other than that I've spent appx £50 on 15kg of kibble at the higher end of the spec and fully expect that to last about 2 weeks. Most re-homing centres will provide a lead, collar and muzzle as well as dental/medical/worming/de-flea-ing, etc. You'll be amazed at how sleepy they are with just a few high energy crazy bursts of play. There are some nice YouTube videos too (although a slightly dated adoption one was talking about Weetabix for brekkie, which I personally don't think is a great idea!). They really are hilarious, cheeky and addictive. Also look up Richard Skipworth cartoons here - told me more about their temperament than others can explain .

YANBU.

This was why we got our labradoodle. We didn’t even have kids at the time and were told we were “inexperienced”. We had him in day care for the first year - i then had a baby.

He is now ten and has had a wonderful life with us.

Dogs trust haven’t got this aspect quite right

Which rescue? Our local rspca seemed very relaxed. We took our cat home the first time we met her! They never came to our house at all. And we openly said we were planning to have a baby. Admittedly a cat, not a dog, though.

Just to flip this, if you go onto the Dog page of Mumsnet there are four or five threads towards the top of the page with people not coping with their dogs and thinking of rehoming..

Snog just thought I had better warn you about the compulsive purchasing of coats/pyjamas/hats/snoods/fancy martingale collars for greys...You really only need one coat, esp when they are losing the kennel coat to begin with, but as they have low body fat they do feel the cold. A quick google search will show you what I mean . That might take up some of that extra budget . Sorry, will stop now!

Had the same thing, no rescue dog because child of 9 and I work 3 hours per day, the breed organisation have just turned me down (didn't even try the rescue centres) because I live 250 inside the city boundary and they don't rehome in cities! I kid you not I can see the sign saying "welcome to " from my window.

I would personally look at small breeds with a child that age or get rabbits/guinea pigs.

this makes me mad, there are huge numbers of rabbits in rescues because ignorant parents think that they are the perfect pet for a child when actually rabbits are highly sensitive and high maintenance animals. Please do not get your child a rabbit unless you are willing to commit to looking after it yourself, getting yearly vaccinations, paying for spay or neuter and supervising your child.

Oh also they need to be bought in pairs and require a large amount of space to roam.

Go on to the RWAF website for more information

'So you think you want a rabbit?
Despite being the third most popular pet in the UK, rabbits are among the most abused and neglected. Countless rabbits spend miserable lives confined to a hutch, alone and with little or no space to exercise, mostly because owners don’t realise what’s involved before taking them on.'

I don't understand why people who both work full time think it's ok to have a dog, without any plan for proper day care. Especially a Labrador puppy. You sound like you haven't thought this through, OP.

Having a puppy is like having another child.

Oh for gods sake.

You can't leave a puppy alone for that long at a time. The reasons why you've been refused are valid, and when you come home to find the puppy has shredded everything and pissed everywhere and decide it's too much hassle and give it up to a shelter, you're perpetuating the reason why rescues don't rehome dogs to folks like you.

I despair.

YANBU

I was turned down too 🙄 As was a friend of mine.

Both of us bought dogs, and years later they are having a lovely life 😊 But we'd both have adopted!!

Based on my own experience with rescues, I think that a lot of them are run by some quite peculiar people who are lacking in people skills and common sense. And who have a tendency to hoard animals (I am painting with a brand brush here, I am sure that there are sensible people running shelters as well).

They told me I had to bring my cat in to the shelter to test it with whichever dog I chose! I declined because why would I ever 'test' a dog with my cat!

When we adopted we had a huge but not entirely enclosed garden. The home vetting person was quite pragmatic and said "well no right-minded dog is going to run away from this are they

I’m sorry but I think this is insane. It’s a ridiculous statement of the vetter to make - dogs don’t run away because they are unhappy, he could see a squirrel and chase it through the non-enclosed part and end up lost or dead. Exactly what happened to a friend of mine’s dog last year and I was just angry at him for risking his dog’s life with a partially enclosed garden the dog could escape from.

On one hand, a puppy needs constant supervision and on the other hand, I would rather a puppy in a shelter go to a good and loving home where it’s alone for a couple of hours a few times a week, than left in the shelter to rot.

Rescues can be really strict but I think it's to filter out the people who are a bit willy nilly about it all. They want people with the right kind of mindset toward animals to adopt. That doesn't mean they always get it right.

Many think DH and I are crackers. We both work full time and have three dogs. We base our lives around the dogs though, eg. When we got the youngest as a puppy she wasn't left on her own for 2.5 months and then it was built up very gradually. My rescue I've had 5 years, she's now 10 and she will try to bite people if she thinks they're coming near me because she thinks she needs to protect me. Not ideal, but I didn't return her for it I just manage her very carefully. She's not quite right, I don't know what is in her past but she has a happy life here and would end up being a lifetime foster if I sent her back. A lot of people do have disposable attitudes to animals and it must be really hard if you have a busy life with children and then issues with your pets, particularly behavioural ones. Knowing my rescue girl as I do I can see why they are so strict, she is bonded so strongly to me it's insane, and I think it's more for her than it is for me!

We were told no because, although our children are adults, once maybe twice a year my friend visits with her young children... Apparently shutting dog in another room for couple of hours after a nice long walk wouldn’t be good enough!

Our rescue dog died a few years ago. He had been so badly abused he was never quite right afterwards. We were home number 4, not including his foster placement. He would have mauled anyone he thought was trying to hurt us. He lived a long happy life with us, died of old age, and we just had to manage his aggressive behaviour.

Current dogs were rescue puppies, so no aggressive behaviour, which is much more relaxing, tbh. Got them both when my DC were relatively small. I rang the same rescue about getting a kitten, and had an interesting talk with the staff. They generally don't home kittens with children, because people kept returning them because they accidentally scratched the kids. They didn't have one suitable for us at the time, and I got big cat from a neighbor in the end.

I think it's difficult for rescues to manage a potential owners expectations of what the animal will be like so they try to weed out people who are unrealistic. In saying that, some have gone too far in the other direction.

It is frustrating.
Most dogs in rescues are alone for far longer than 4 hours considering the staff work 9-5ish and have multiple dog’s to look after. How is that better than being in a home?

I had this with cats. turned down by 1 rescue because we had 'a safe enclosed garden' (?) , and a catflap (at the front of the house, so apparently lethal) , 2 kids (both over 10 and by the way she looked at them, both cat torturers in the making - actually both of DCs adore cats and have grown up with cats). I refused to guarantee that I'd keep the cats in overnight (cats love roaming and catching mice at night - it's part of being a moggy) and also refused to consider having them as house cats (I think cats should be allowed to play and bask in the sun, and chase spiders etc).
RSPCA told us that we'd have to come, choose a cat, then they'd decide whether we could have it.
I get it that the rescues see some awful things and have a duty to protect animals, but seriously you come into our house and see a cat-lovers home, and a cat paradise and they say 'no'. bonkers.

We ended up buying a kitten from a woman who ran a brothel

Cat’s Protection turned us down flat without even a home visit when I said we lived in a boat. Despite our previous 17 years of successful cat ownership and living 400 yards from the nearest very quiet country road.

OP this is exactly the scenario we encountered - the rescue centres were all so bloody self righteous and preachy. We were willing, able and ready to give a dog a second chance - but guess what, ended up buying a puppy. Ridiculous - made me angry then and makes me angry all over again reading that it happens to others

No-Kill Rescues I've been in contact with, the animals are in cages all day long. Very little stimulation, and the 'hard cases' can languish like that for (many) months. Yet apparently this is better than going to an imperfect home where they will get lots of loving attention.