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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask if you had sex on your wedding night?

256 replies

SantaBabyBoo · 21/12/2018 23:03

Getting married in the near future, and I'm already pretty certain there will be no shagging on the wedding night. Sex is quite infrequent anyway (but this suits us), and after a long day I know we will both be too tired.

Until a coversation today, I thought it was normal to not consummate marriage on the actual wedding night. A few friends have said it is extremely odd to not, and is something you have to do on your wedding day for 'tradition'.

I am no virgin, so I don't see the big deal. I would prefer a cuppa and Dairy Milk.

OP posts:
knittedjest · 22/12/2018 01:53

Yes because we hadn't had sex together prior to getting married.

knittedjest · 22/12/2018 01:58

Should note that we hadn't had sex together, not that we were virgins. I had a three year old when we got married which wasn't an immaculate conception. But we had a marriage of convenience and had decided not to complicate things with sex prior to marriage.

jq28 · 22/12/2018 01:59

Morning after.

sanityisamyth · 22/12/2018 02:01

We tried but one of the guests set the fire alarm off just as things were getting interesting (more so than the rest of the doomed marriage) so the whole hotel had to evacuate!!

MsHopey · 22/12/2018 03:11

We did. But it definitely was a little bit "this is our wedding night, we have too!". So not as spontaneous as I would have liked, but we did it.
Then had a nice bath and went to bed.
Note, we got to the hotel at 11pm because we hate social gatherings, we realise now we should have eloped 😂

Shriek · 22/12/2018 03:17

Yes....yes...yes...yes, yes yes! Yes!

tryinganewname · 22/12/2018 03:28

Nope. DH actually fell asleep on the sofa in the hotel room! With my veil covering his modesty Angry

peakSafeSpace · 22/12/2018 03:36

I really can't remmeber (26 years ago). We'd been living together so wasn't some new thing.

Our wedding was brilliant. I remember all of that.

abacucat · 22/12/2018 03:38

No. I was pretty tipsy and we were both shattered.
Sex on the wedding night was a big thing when the couple would not have had sex until they were married.

Stephisaur · 22/12/2018 03:54

We did, twice.

Once between ceremony and evening reception (got married at a hotel so it was easy to slip back to our room) and then again at the end of the evening.

We weren’t expecting to be up for it the second time, but we couldn’t sleep after the adrenaline of the day.

It’s a personal thing - I would just see how the mood takes you on the day.

Graphista · 22/12/2018 04:03

Between the copious amounts of alcohol, long day, millions kirby grips (I thought that was just me! I'm quite heartened to see it wasn't - didn't even find them all the first night, we kept finding the damn things still in my hair!), lace up dress & button up corset (try getting out of THAT pissed! - I fell asleep with it half undone at one point woke up when the "bones" we're digging in, undid the rest and couldn't be arsed attempting to also remove stockings so just slept in them) now ex was asleep by the time I got anywhere near the bed!

We had a half hearted attempt the following morning but both still knackered/hungover (the wedding was ace! Shame about the marriage) the next day and aware we had to be leaving for the honeymoon.

Made up for it on honeymoon.

One friend of mine didn't even make it to the hotel before falling asleep! Her husband had to carry her to the room! (She was also slightly jet lagged due to work trip).

And one bride I know had sex on her wedding night...with the best man! Marriage lasted less than a month!

"and my face hurt from having to smile for the photos." Omg yes my cheeks hurt for 2 days!

Madgoose wow! Do you mind saying how so? No need to of course.

EarringsandLipstick · 22/12/2018 04:04

Sorry knitted what? ‘Marriage of convenience’, what does that mean in practice?

PhoenixBuchanan · 22/12/2018 04:06

We did but only because I think we both felt we should. It was 1:30am and we were both exhausted. It was the most perfunctory sex we've ever had!

ItsAHardKn0ckLife1 · 22/12/2018 04:06

No, I was ill with pneumonia and asleep by 9pm Sad

Honeyroar · 22/12/2018 04:35

Nope. The hotel managed to lock us out of our hotel room and the on duty receptionist had taken phone off the hook! Our friends offered to break down the room door (pretty drunk!) but I was knackered, with sore feet and hair half unpinned and so we we gave up and went home! My dad was living with us at the time, so we just had a cup of tea and went to bed. I have a lovely photo of my late Labrador asleep on my train while I had my cup of tea.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 22/12/2018 04:38

We didn't, totally pissed and knackered and fell asleep on the bed fully dressed!

UhYeahISureHopeItDoes · 22/12/2018 04:47

You don't have to wait until your wedding night you know, you just need to find somewhere where there are no people Grin

Magpiefeather · 22/12/2018 04:54

Next morning here too! Was too knackered!!

Also shocked everyone by sleeping together (ie in the same bed, can’t remember whether sex was involved...) the night before the wedding. I saw no point in being apart. We got ready and arrived at the venue separately,
But why would we not want to spend the night before the wedding together? We already lived together for Pete’s sake!

bellajay · 22/12/2018 05:05

We did, a few times, but we had abstained until marriage and we eloped so no guests to worry about.

brookshelley · 22/12/2018 05:15

We did straight after the reception, then changed and met friends for after party.

CarlGrimesMissingEye · 22/12/2018 05:22

Nope. I was drunk and tired and it took about 30 mins for us both to work out how to get me out of my dress 😂

EarringsandLipstick · 22/12/2018 05:44

Aw mayI that’s really lovely ❤️

bridgetosomewhere · 22/12/2018 05:59

Yeah we did but it was more of a "suppose we better" kinda thing as we were both knackered!

MaryShelley1818 · 22/12/2018 06:10

We got married 3wks ago...had sex on the night, during the night and the next morning.
Our 12mth old was with my parents 3 rooms down so made the most of it!

Mondaytired · 22/12/2018 06:17

Yes we did!