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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Makeup on an 11 year old.

161 replies

Makeupaddikt · 19/12/2018 23:24

I have an 11 year old daughter and I’ve nevr let her wear makeup as I personally think she is too young however, my friend has told me I’m unreasonable and all 11 year olds wear it although not to school????

So is it me BUmor my friend?

OP posts:
DragonMamma · 19/12/2018 23:27

My DD is 11yo and has a pretty hefty make up bag. She wears it relatively infrequently but loves spending time with her pals practising looks etc from YouTube videos.

She’ll also put a bit of eyeshadow, mascara and highlighter on for special occasions. It’s certainly not worn ever week.

Most of her friends are the same 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Makeupaddikt · 19/12/2018 23:28

Thanks DragonMamma maybe I should just get with the times lol.

I just don’t want her to grow up too fast 😢 xx

OP posts:
DragonMamma · 19/12/2018 23:30

It’s tough to watch them growing up but it’s like most things, everything in moderation doesn’t usually do any harm and the more you ban it, the more coveted it’s likely to become.

Pythonesque · 19/12/2018 23:32

I'm with you OP. No 11 yr old needs makeup in my opinion. My 16 yr old is a bit Hmm at the makeup some of her friends think is essential, and only uses a little occasionally as of the last year-ish I think.

seventhgonickname · 19/12/2018 23:34

My dd started when she was 13.We compromised with mascara and she had her eyelashes dyed instead.She is 15now and just does her eyes subtly and a bit of lip gloss

masterandmargarita · 19/12/2018 23:35

11?! No way!

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 19/12/2018 23:37

My dd is 11 in a few weeks and there’s no way in hell she’d get near make up.

She’s still into mlp and fairies and long May it stay that way.

AuditAngel · 19/12/2018 23:39

Both my 11 year old and 8 year lads have 5heir own make up, but only for dancing, neither wear it otherwise

DragonMamma · 19/12/2018 23:41

Nobody ‘needs’ make up, really though, do they?

I honestly can’t see what there is to get het up about.

None of the kids around here are playing with MLP and dolls at 11/Yr6 either though. Neither was I, at that age?

Original poster
Makeupaddikt · 19/12/2018 23:45

Thanks for replying, see I love makeup (as my user name suggest) but I’ve never let her play with makeup before except nail polish and I don’t allow her to wear it to school.
I don’t see any of her friends wearing makeup and I haven’t ask their parents if they wear it, but my son said when he was 11 some of the girls in his class would wear it at the weekends when they were all out!!
I don’t think I started wearing makeup until I was about 16.

OP posts:
BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 19/12/2018 23:47

I suppose each to their own but I think it’s inappropriate for primary school children to be doing themselves up in make up. They are children.

When I had dd’s 10th sleepover, a lot of them were doing selfies with their phones with that duck face pout and asking to have the WiFi code so they could put it on Instagram. I refused.

Cherries101 · 19/12/2018 23:48

Wearing makeup isn’t growing up too fast. It’s a matter of personal choice about her body and if your 11 yo wants to wear make up, shave her body hair etc you should encourage her by giving her considered advice (or directing her to it).

datingloon · 19/12/2018 23:51

My Dd is 11 and likes make up, she's just started wearing a little mascara to school (she's a red head) other than that it's just a little lip gloss if going out

It def won't make her grow up to fast for Christmas she is having a reborn toddler doll to go with the other 30 odd dolls she has a loves, she plays with them all day everyday

FamilyReferee · 19/12/2018 23:51

At 11, I allowed my DD to wear it round the house, and if it was subtle, the odd bit out of the house once in a while. There are colours/looks that wouldn't be appropriate, and then I just gently told her that's more of a 'dance' look, and that she can't wear it out of the house. She wore more makeup for dance shows. I felt that I wanted her to have the opportunity to experiment if she wanted to, plus didn't really want to give her something to rebel against. And to date (she's a little older now), it's not an issue - she rarely wears much, if any, usually nail varnish, but in a child sort of fashion. I have a 'none for school' rule, and as far as I know, she's never bothered.

But then, I'm not fussed on it myself - I do enjoy it, but don't wear it daily, so I guess she's just following my example.

BusterGonad · 19/12/2018 23:52

I say let her have a few bits and bobs, there's nothing worse as a child to feel like the only one with out something everyone else has, once she's got it she'll probably be bored of it soon enough. She just wants to be like her mates.

RockingAroundTheChristmasTree1 · 19/12/2018 23:54

My mother was a make up artist, and was obviously obsessed with make up, which rubbed off on me ( I have every piece of make up imaginable now)
But at 11, I didn't wear any make up..young girls these days, seem to be growing up so fast, compared to back when I was younger!
My mother at 11, took me to have my eyebrows done, which made me feel very grown up!
If she is insisting on wanting a few bits, you can take her to the make up counters at Debenhams or somewhere similar..they will do her make up for her for free (this will feel like a massive treat to her!)
I worked as one of the make up ladies for one of the counters years, and we use to get in lots of really young girls with their mum's coming in..we would use things like a tinted moisturiser, and a bit of mascara and a lip gloss..it made them feel very special and grown up..when in reality they had hardly anything on!!
And it's a free little pamper for them!!

Newsername · 20/12/2018 00:03

My dd is 11 in a few weeks and there’s no way in hell she’d get near make up.

She’s still into mlp and fairies and long May it stay that way.

Seriously? I don’t know any 11 year old who still plays/played with ponies and fairies at that age. That’s year 6/7! and you want it to continue into year 8/9/10? Confused.

I buy bits and bobs for dd (11). Her friend wears concealer and foundation, but I draw the line at eyeliner and a bit of lip gloss. She has an eyeshadow palette she tries out, but she’s not allowed outside the house with it on and no make-up at school. I always dabbled with make up at home and tried out things. It’s not growing up, it’s just art/expression in another form, not on paper.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 20/12/2018 00:13

Excuse me? My dd is y5.

Should I be discouraging her away from her toys she loves and saying ‘here you go darling, why don’t I show you how to paint your face?’

She has no interest in it and whilst I know it will come in time, I find that Confused to be quite insulting. I’m prepared to let her grow up at her own rate- none of her friends round here wear make up. They all like ponies, fairies, pusheens, dolls and the like.

She has her whole life to be a grown up so I am not going to spoil that before she decides that she decides to do it.

Congratulations- your kid is into make up. Mine isn’t.

cakesandtea · 20/12/2018 00:13

OP, this is not the question of what other DC do, or parents say. This is the question about your values and your parenting, what You think is right for your DD. In no way what others say or do can validate something that you think is wrong for your 11 years old.

I personally would never allow my 11 years old to wear make up, nor would she ask. School is for learning. There is no need to sexualise at this age and and pursue this silliness. I want my DD to focus on learning and develop her ambitions and aspirations unrelated to male sex and how she looks.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 20/12/2018 00:19

@cakesandtea Thankyou for saying what I was trying to say.

KeepServingTheFestiveSnogs · 20/12/2018 00:25

I disagree. By allowing your child to experiment with make up isn't the same thing as letting them wear it to school (you can reasonably ban that).

When my DD was interested in make up, I brought her some. She dolled herself up and it was like dressing up to her.

She followed tutorials from bloggers.

She had fun with it.

She rarely wears it out (didn't then, doesn't now age 17)

Make up isn't the problem, adult attitudes to it might be. I agree with the PP who said banning it makes it more alluring (esp if you're wearing it yourself).

GrimDamnFanjo · 20/12/2018 00:27

I bought my DD make up for her 12th birthday as it seemed she was the last in her peer group to wear it.
I got her mainly neutral stuff and some party glitter (as my choices of nude shadows did seem a bit joyless!) and spent time with her explaining how to use it.
She wears it once a week outside school and looks very natural.
It's something she enjoys doing and I'm always careful to be body positive in general with her anyway, rather than focusing on looks etc

agnurse · 20/12/2018 00:55

I was allowed to wear makeup starting at age 12. I think she's a bit young.

I do think you might consider letting her wear some pale lip gloss and some nail varnish. Those to me aren't really "makeup".

slappinthebass · 20/12/2018 00:55

@BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil my dd is in year 7, and she likes MLP, LOL dolls, Monster High, soft toys, unicorns, gaming, Lego, Pokemon and wearing princess dressing up clothes, not fashion. She has never shown any interest in make up, other than face paint. She does have some more grown up interests, particularly with reading. She has plenty of friends with similar interests. Just wanted to counter the Confused. 🙄

PickAChew · 20/12/2018 00:58

I experimented with make up at 11 and haven't worn any for all of my 40s. Let her at it, but enforce boundaries.