Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Makeup on an 11 year old.

161 replies

Makeupaddikt · 19/12/2018 23:24

I have an 11 year old daughter and I’ve nevr let her wear makeup as I personally think she is too young however, my friend has told me I’m unreasonable and all 11 year olds wear it although not to school????

So is it me BUmor my friend?

OP posts:
leccybill · 20/12/2018 01:02

Honestly, princess dressing up in Year 7? Doubt that very much.

Even my most babyish year 7s have moved on to Smiggle, Joe Sugg, mermaidy things etc.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 20/12/2018 01:53

@slappinthebass Thankyou. The monster high and LOL dolls freak me out though the kids love them. Thankyou though for saying that I’m not the only parent whose child is still very much a child.

I apologise if I have derailed your thread OP and I don’t think you are BU at all.

I can’t believe that I am in the minority in thinking that children should be left to be children for as long as possible. I’m not naieve; I understand that when dd goes to secondary school she will learn all sorts of things, but for the time being I would just rather give her the sylvanian families and the doll clothes she wants rather than a bloody contouring kit,

It’s one thing to play dress up in mummy’s clothes and wear a bit of blusher and mascara, as opposed to sending them out in make up. 11 years old! We have all these progressive women’s movements going on (metoo; Ibelieveher) but we are still teaching little children that they need make up.

This post- not OPs- has made me so cross.

When is the deadline for telling children they can’t play with their toys anymore and must paint their faces to be accepted?

KC225 · 20/12/2018 02:22

My 11 and a half year old has asked for some make up for Christmas. I wear make up - foundation, matte red lipstick etc., but she has shown no interest. When she moved to a school and became friendly with the daughter of a hairdresser/beautician she became more interested as her friend his lots of make up and is very knowledgeable about it.

We have talked about what I think is age appropriate. I have bought her a small palette of gold/rose gold eye shadow, a highlighter, a natural lip gloss and a mascara. She is aware its only for parties and school shows/concerts - not for every day and NOT for school.

What I have bought her is very subtle and to be honest I see it as a phase.

Punto1 · 20/12/2018 02:23

I see no issues with here playing with it. Not allowed at school etc., but who doesn't like a bit of makeup!

Pandamodium · 20/12/2018 02:52

My DD started experimenting about 11. Now at 13 it's special occasions only.

She's currently arguing the toss for acrylic nails so I'm just picking my battles to be honest.

They do seem to grow up a lot faster these days.

Mediumred · 20/12/2018 03:11

I have a y6, so will turn 11 soon. I bought her some makeup last Xmas -more in a ‘dress up’ , your mates come round and you do each other’s eyes and look like pandas etc - but it’s hardly been touched (which is fine, was just an idea). We are in London and I would say the kids are fairly, though not ridiculously, streetwise, a lot have phones, walk home, occasionally go to coffee shops etc but this just doesn’t seem to interest them at all at this stage and certainly no one would dream of wearing it to school apart from a bit of nail varnish.

No judgment in this post, just an observation of how it is round our way.

DragonMamma · 20/12/2018 07:17

I’m clearly from the KeepServing school too.

I only know of one Yr6 girl (August born) who’s still in to dolls, MLP etc. It is very out of the norm here for girls to be playing with dolls in High School. They’ve generally moved on way before then.

MsTSwift · 20/12/2018 07:29

Mine has make up. They try it on with friends and copy you tubers and giggle. “Blind makeover” is a favourite game. Don’t see the harm. They only wear abit of eyeshadow outside the house.

MsTSwift · 20/12/2018 07:33

Bananas I would pay money to see you enforcing doll playing and wholesome childlike fun on your average 12 year old Grin. They are “playing” with make up it’s not sinister. Do you have tiny children atm?

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 20/12/2018 07:37

There's quite a difference between a Year 6 11 year old, and a Year 7 11 year old. But at the end of the day, it's only make up. Is there really a difference between this and face paint?

For the record, my 11 year old Year 7 dd doesn't wear any make up - but neither does her 15 year old sister. My eldest, on the other hand, started wearing make up in Year 7.

Iliketeaagain · 20/12/2018 07:37

My Dd is 9, and starting showing an interest because some of her friends are - but she gets bored of it about 10 mins after she starts playing with it.
Personally, I'd rather show her how to put on some pink or clear lipgloss and glittery eyeshadow if she wants to.

In fact, I think by offering to show her, it takes the mystery and exciting-ness away, so means she's less interested!

But, never for school, only for parties.

Stereomum · 20/12/2018 07:39

My year 7 daughter has shown no interest yet. If and when she does then I will get her a few bits. I was starting to experiment with some make up at that age.

Beaverhausen · 20/12/2018 07:40

Nope my dd is 11 and to me too young to wear make up. Girls grow up far too quickly these days and unfortunately this can lead to bigger problems for parents in the long run.

Do not be in a rush for them to mature too quickly, we gave them for such a short time.

Newsername · 20/12/2018 07:44

I can’t believe that I am in the minority in thinking that children should be left to be children for as long as possible.

Erm, I think we all agree children should be left to be children for as long as possible. You can’t dictate their interests though. You seem really weirdly against makeup like it’s the antichrist and will corrupt your child.

A majority of the people on this thread have said they don’t let their child wear it out, to school or go overboard for special occasions. What’s the difference between your girl face painting and wearing make up at home?

Your “long may it continue” comment is odd. Loads of girls are close to starting their periods at age 11/12. They’re not exactly small children are they? They’re coming into young adulthood.

Topofthehills · 20/12/2018 07:47

I think when I was 11 I had some nail polish, some clear/glittery lipgloss and some glittery eyeshadow stuff for parties. Didn't wear any of it to school. I think my mum also got me a concealer for spots which I couldn't be bothered with. Definitely was also shaving by age 11 (underarms, not legs).

I got my period at 10 though! I understand the "let children be children" sentiment, but you've got to let them experiment with things at that age if they want to as well. Some of them are going through puberty and don't really feel like children any more.

AlaskanOilBaron · 20/12/2018 07:48

I have only boys, but I've just started to notice a bit of makeup on my son's year-8 classmates at parties.

I don't love it, but it's not my problem.

MsTSwift · 20/12/2018 07:48

It seems the lip pursed anti make up brigade seem to think we are locking away toys and smearing foundation on children’s faces. I don’t think you can enforce what children enjoy they like different things at different stages neither is “wrong”. My year 5 and her friends play “strictly” put make up on and prance around the house. Love it!

cloudtree · 20/12/2018 07:49

It won't harm her. She's not going to end up pregnant at 15 as a result of a bit of eyeliner and lip gloss.

I started wearing makeup at 11 (secondary school) and I'm 45 so it isn't anything new.

RiverTam · 20/12/2018 07:52

How dreary that apparently it's fine for 11yo girls to bow to peer and societal pressure to wear make up but God forbid they should tread their own path and be into toys and dressing up.

OP, yanbu and DD will not be wearing make up at 11.

anniehm · 20/12/2018 07:52

It's up to your dd, if she wants some lipgloss and eyeshadow is age appropriate.

Original poster
Makeupaddikt · 20/12/2018 07:59

Thank you everyone. My daughter hasn’t shown any interest in makeup whatsoever. The conversation came up when I was talking to my friend and telling her I was struggling to get things for my daughters stocking (she is into books and dvds) and my friend said about makeup.

As I said I let her wear nail polish but even with that I avento supervise her and can’t let her have it in her room (she painted her window sill with it 😏.

I haven’t seen any of her friends wearing makeup so it’s notmas if all her friends have it and she doesn’t, but then again they might wear it round the house and fe just not seen it.

I do appreciate everyone’s replies and views, but I think I will just leave it until she asks for makeup.

OP posts:
U2HasTheEdge · 20/12/2018 08:05

My daughter turned 12 today and for the last few months she has been using her friend's makeup at school. Just a bit of mascara and lip gloss. I was quite against it but then noticed that most of her friends were wearing light makeup so for her birthday I have bought her some.

She will be told that only lip gloss and mascara can be worn for school. The rest she can play about with it home.

AliMonkey · 20/12/2018 08:07

I think the key thing here is that OP's daughter hasn't asked for it. Definitely not something to suggest to a DD. Personally it would have been a no from me in primary school but would have considered in secondary - but only for experimenting and occasional use. DD is nearly 14 and shown no interest yet but others started wearing in Y7. Personally I started wearing occasionally at at 13 but haven't worn any since I was 21.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 20/12/2018 08:07

I have just allowed my10 year old to have some subtle make up. She is surrounded by girls in y6 who are obsessed with looks.

DD doesn't live up to these girls high standards apparently and they have been making nasty comments. They point out the dark circles that she has under her eyes and have teased her about her bushy eyebrows. She got very down about it all and wrote me a letter telling me everything she hates about herself and handed it to me. It was heartbreaking.

I didn't feel good about this but I took her out to get her eyebrows threaded and bought her some BB cream and concealer and showed her how to wear it so that it isn't obvious. It made such a difference to her confidence.

She also wanted to have her legs and arms waxed because of teasing. I wouldn't allow that.

I thought long and hard about this issue and I know that I probably should have taken it up with the school in an attempt to stop the teasing but previous experience tells me that I would have just made things worse for DD

Amanduh · 20/12/2018 08:08

It’s sad. The last two schools I have worked at, the year 4’s onwards have been makeup obsessed, and why?
Youtube.