Makeup on an 11 year old.

[Makeupaddikt]

I have an 11 year old daughter and I’ve nevr let her wear makeup as I personally think she is too young however, my friend has told me I’m unreasonable and all 11 year olds wear it although not to school????

So is it me BUmor my friend?

I agree Dragonmamma.

My dd is nearly 14. She started wearing a bit of brown eyeshadow and mascara towards the end of Y7. It makes her feel nice. She wasn't interested at 11 but plenty of her friends were.

I don't get the drama.

She's not 'vacuous' or 'sexualised' whatsoever and I resent the implication from parents who are coming across as having 'superior' parenting skills.

I think it's a bit grim. I have to sit on my hands when my friend posts pics of her 10, nearly 11 go on FB, normal average day pics, and she has a face full of mascara, lipstick, blush, it even looks like her nails get done and her brows are on fleek. She looks about 15, really sad.

Our yr7 11 year old is not remotely interested in makeup and she finds it odd that others are.

She's definitely my daughter, peer pressure is irrelevant to her.

I think we can draw a distinction between three separate situations here.

1. Playing with makeup. When I was little I LOVED it when I got to have someone make me up as part of a sleepover or something. I don't see an issue with that.

1. Wearing makeup for something specific, such as a theatrical or artistic performance. This is a logistical thing. I had a ballet concert when I was about 8. I HAD to wear heavy makeup because otherwise the lights would have washed me out. That's different.

1. Wearing makeup for every day. I think she's too young for that.

Remember that just because a girl has started her period, that doesn't mean she is ready for adult experiences and adult responsibilities yet. Some girls start their periods as young as 8. Do you think it's appropriate for an 8-year-old to wear makeup? Obviously OP's daughter is older, but the issue still stands.

Trampire I think it’s quite indicative of demographic of MN that ‘superior parenting’ is having your kids wearing JoJo and Boden until they are 16, no make up, TV for 30 minutes a day, no interest in pop culture whatsoever and happy playing Lego Friends and dolls until they leave home.

Dragonmamma, yes!

I was quite 'smug' I suppose when dd was younger. She was a huge anti-pink girl who was totally confident and went out of her way to be different in a crowd. Very emotionally and mentally mature.

Now she's heading 14, peer pressure is huge thing, as is generally insecurity, normal teen anxiety and the desire to not always put your head above the crowd.

I feel a bit sad, but it's natural. I remember being exactly the same.

I think it’s laughably smug to post that your child isn’t bothered about makeup and not affected by peer pressure and finds those who like it are odd.

My daughter loves makeup but doesn’t give a monkeys about squishies - despite ALL her friends being crazy about them. I don’t feel smug that this lack of interest in weird over priced gimmicky tat is due to resistance to peer pressure. She just doesn’t like them. But... she’s mature enough not to think her friends are “odd”. She understands people like different things.

Trampire I try not to be smug as it usually comes to bite you on the arse eventually! Early parenting told me that.

My DD is pretty anti-pink and has gone to her school party today wearing a black knitted dress (complete with 🏳️‍🌈 on the front), black knee high socks, Docs and - shocker - mascara!

I hate this unspoken narrative that if your DD likes pink, make up and fashion that you’ve somehow failed as a parent. Feminism is surely about allowing girls to be what they want to be? Not being anti pink, not shaving your pits and wearing hemp knickers!

Jesus the people on here saying it's disgraceful to play with a bit of make up...in the 80's when I was little, one of the best selling toys, was a Girls World Styling Head!

I totally echo everything you've said Dragonmamma.

My dd at aged 9/10 wore black and was into dragons, Skeletons and wizards and musicals. I Did feel inwardly pleased with myself that I'd raised a confident girl who didn't 'follow the crowd', although it often set her apart from her peer group.

These days she likes to conform. Although I'm pleased she doesn't wear the knee-deep shiny contour make-up like some girls do, and isn't really into selfies - she is who she is (or at least finding out). I'm just as proud of her.

I'll never feel smug about nothing again as far as parenting is concerned. Every month seems to bring a new challenge.

My daughter loves make up, she is really good at applying it and will often do mine for me. I'm more than happy for her to wear it around the house but not outside. She wore a bit to her year 6 disco (mascara/lip gloss)

I think if your child is interested in it then let them experiment. If not then leave it. Kids grow up very quickly these days and it's really nice to try and keep that innocence but a little bit if make up at home isn't going to harm anyone.

Nothing = parenting.

I think girls wearing makeup is a symptom of them becoming more worried/insecure about the way they look, and susceptible to peer pressure.
That well-publicised study this year showed nearly 1 in 4 girls in the UK aged 14 had self-harmed this year.
That's one quarter of our daughters.
We're all aware of the pressures of social media, body image, sexual harrassment, peer pressure and so on, but seem reluctant to actually try and tackle any of the issues!
So when it comes to reducing internet use, taking away phones, encouraging healthy eating & exercise, or directing our daughters' focus away from the way they look, to how happy & fulfilled they are, we as parents seem very reluctant to do anything about it.
IMO a focus on make-up and looks is a massive contributor to body image concerns and self-esteem issues.
We need to do something about our young girls. Just giving in won't help. If my DD9 starts asking for makeup any time soon, I won't be allowing it.
I know that seems a bit extreme but we need to change something about the life experiences of girls and young women at the moment, don't we?
ONE QUARTER of 14 year olds self-harming?! Scary, and we are not doing anything to change what we all know is harmful.

VIOLET Seriously? What a smug post. I posted earlier about my 11 and half year asking for make up for Christmas. I can assure you she is not interested in boys and Is not doing it for make.attention. My DD is top of her class, bilingual and is in a rowing club and plays football. Lip gloss does NOT sexualise an 11 year old. And I think that statement says more about your attitude than a girl experimenting. Both of my children (her twin brother) have shown an interest in learning to cook. I have bought them cookbooks and aprons and have encouraged that (more so) too

Make up seems to be one of those 'divisive' topics. I think the OP has made a good decision, her DD has shown no interest and she was just gathering opinions, so there is no need to be buying make up. I wouldn't have bought the lip gloss/eye-shadow and mascara combo had my DD not expressed an interest. There is no right or wrong our DDs are all individuals.

*My dd is 11 in a few weeks and there’s no way in hell she’d get near make up.

She’s still into mlp and fairies and long May it stay that way.

Seriously? I don’t know any 11 year old who still plays/played with ponies and fairies at that age. That’s year 6/7! and you want it to continue into year 8/9/10? confused.*

My dd is 11 in a few weeks, her Xmas list consisted almost entirely of Playmobil with a smattering of Lego Elves.

She sometimes wears make up, loves nail varnish. She has no desire to shave.

She generally dresses in what might be considered 'non girl' clothes. Though yanno, she's a girl and wearing them, so they are.

She is obsessed with Harry Potter. She has never played with dolls.

She is an individual, all our daughters are. Why do we need to judge? Wanting to wear make up at 11 is normal, wanting to play with toys at 11 is normal. Let's not put each other's perceived parenting, and therefore each other down through our daughters behaviour eh?

Bold fail. Sorry.

The Children's Society report says that gender stereotypes and worries about looks were contributing to unhappiness, but sure let's all go on thinking that make-up for young girls is harmless

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-45329030

My DD is 12 now the other year all she wanted was a sparkle ‘case’ of makeup from Claire’s. I was really anti, we sort of compromised and her cool young Antie brought it for her. She played with it a bit, wore some lip gloss and forgot about it.
She’s asked for makeup this year so I’ve got her some lipstick(nude) and a couple of otther bits.
None of the ladies in our family wear it daily, special occasions only mainly and therefore I’m hoping it won’t be a big thing for her.
A little bit won’t hurt and if you’ve given her self confidence then it Shouldn’t be a big issue

Its a terrible idea. I hate to see makup on a child. I dont care what the current trend is, its a bad message

What so girls who are interested in make up are not focusing on learning or developing their ambitions. Don’t be so utterly ridiculous and insulting. This is why we have the worlds unhappiest kids

Why is it a bad message?

My daughter messing about with a little make up is not contributing to unhappiness

Exactly🙌🏻🙌🏻

So Maldives2006 what is it making a quarter of our girls so unhappy that they are self-harming, and why are they naming body image, appearance and gender stereotyping as one of the causes?
Make-up is part and parcel of that.

I have an 11 year old and although she has makeup because she likes to play around with it, she is not allowed to wear it other than that. No makeup to school, no makeup generally, although i suppose i might allow something age appropriate eg. A bit of general sparkle, for a party.
I also have an older dd , just 14. She isn't allowed makeup for school, although i do allow her to use spot cover. Outside school she sometimes wears mascara and lipstick, plays about with eyeshadow etc, but doesn’t wear makeup every day.
I went to a school where all makeup was banned and the ban was strictly enforced. We probably could have got away with subtle concealer on a spot but nothing else. In contrast my dds school also has a no makeup policy but some of the girls have the whole works, foundation, eyebrow stuff, contour, highlighter etc etc from about year nine, and it looks frankly bizarre with school uniform.