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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To regret helping a stranger

292 replies

regrethelp · 19/12/2018 19:58

I was stopped by a lady in a 2 seater convertible that she forgot her purse in a building nearby. Building was locked and she had not enough fuel to drive all the way home (outside London).
She wanted money for fuel. She drove me to nearby ATM machine and I withdrew money to lend her.
She told me she is an artist, I can find her online. Only told me her first name. I trusted her and didn't check details. She said she comes to my area 2 times a week to work on a stained glass project.
She promised to call in 3 hours. It's been over 2 days I haven't heard from her.
I sent her text and called her and got no response (her number is valid, she gave me missed call for me to have her number).
I feel stupid. Amount is not that big (£40) but I told her politely I am out of work and would need money back.
I usually help people (friends/family)going out of my way and most times I have found those people unappreciative.
I don't want to chase the lady but I feel very upset for being taken advantage one more time. I am feeling worse also because I am in abusive relationship and already feel pretty depressed.

OP posts:
LemonSqueezy0 · 19/12/2018 20:00

Regrettably I think you've lost that £40 but you did a kind thing, and hopefully that will be repaid in the future, when you most need it

Lifeofsmiley · 19/12/2018 20:00

I’m surprised in all honesty that you expected this money back. You’ve been scammed.
I wouldn’t lend to a complete stranger never mind £40.

Lifeofsmiley · 19/12/2018 20:01

£4 that is never mind £40

ihopeyouwitchesareready · 19/12/2018 20:01

what??? you gave £40 that you cant afford to a stranger in the street and actually expected to get it back. Shock

bobstersmum · 19/12/2018 20:02

Report her to the police is it not theft by deception?

Kittykat93 · 19/12/2018 20:02

Oh op. You've been very kind but I would never ever lend that sort of money to a complete stranger. A fiver or tenner I could afford to lose but 40 is a lot of money.

Just learn from this and try not to dwell on it. Hopefully karma will bite her in the arse one day Thanks

DBN1 · 19/12/2018 20:02

I'm sorry but I think you've been had Sad £40 is a lot of money and you were very kind to "help". All you can do is keep calling until she answers. What happens after that though, I don't know? Flowers

SoupDragon · 19/12/2018 20:03

£40? How far did she have to drive?

cheesywotnots · 19/12/2018 20:03

she has conned you, you can report this to the police, do you have any details about her, there might be cctv from the original building or from your bank that shows her and the car. it would be worth informing your bank to let them know what happened.

newmun · 19/12/2018 20:03

Very silly thing to do

Returnofthesmileybar · 19/12/2018 20:04

Ok firstly don't feel bad, yes you were naive but I would rather be naive and kind to a stranger than be the woman who scammed you.

To be honest I am more concerned you got into a car with a complete stranger and kwr her drive you to an ATM, that is not safe, you should never do that again.

But text her and tell her you are going to the police if you don't receive it. Don't actually though as they won't do anything but it might be worth a shot, otherwise I think you may have to just chill this one down to experience

PurpleDaisies · 19/12/2018 20:05
Confused

Why did you lend her so much? Why did you get in a stranger’s car?

You won’t see that money again.

Lettermethis · 19/12/2018 20:06

I would say I'm unscammable. But...

Last year a well dressed, well spoken man approached me in my local town and explained he needed to contact his partner who had severe MH issues. She had taken their car which his wallet was in, and could I possibly give 50p or any amount to him so he could get a phone top-up? He was terribly embaressed and apologetic.

I gave him £10 and wished him luck.

Long story short, he was a drug addict scamming anyone and everyone that day - even old ladies in hospital carparks.

Please don't feel it was your fault, if she was a scammer she was probably very good!!

Aquamarine1029 · 19/12/2018 20:06

Lending the money was foolish, but GETTING INTO A STRANGER'S CAR was monumentally stupid. You need to give your head a serious wobble.

PurpleDaisies · 19/12/2018 20:06

Just spotted the last sentence where you say you’re in an abusive relationship.

It’s worth posting in relationships, getting out of that will totally change your life.

Original poster
regrethelp · 19/12/2018 20:08

She said she had no fuel to drive the way to home which was a town outside London.

I was a bit hesitant but thought how would she go home without any money for fuel.
She drove a nice convertible car, showed me a photo of her art on her phone, can afford an iPhone. I had no reason to think somebody like her would scam for £40.
I even went out of my way to go to ATM. She stayed in car when I went to ATM . She had stopped the car on the other side of the road.

I have no information about her other than her mobile number.

OP posts:
Phoebesgift · 19/12/2018 20:09

Very risky, foolish thing to do. I'm afraid you can kiss goodbye to the £40. You live and learn.

PurpleDaisies · 19/12/2018 20:10

How was she planning to get her wallet back?

CandyCreeper · 19/12/2018 20:10

I cant believe people fall for this stuff Confused

Aquamarine1029 · 19/12/2018 20:11

How can you manage getting through life being so gullible and reckless with your own safety? I despair.

Daffyduckface · 19/12/2018 20:11

OP, to be honest you’re lucky to get away with just losing £40. Please don’t get into a cars with people you don’t know.
I’m a bit surprised you got into someone’s car who you didn’t know and then let them drive you to an ATM, to draw out cash for them. To be honest you’re lucky you weren’t mugged and and had all your money taken.

I’m sorry you lost your money op, don’t put yourself at risk financially or otherwise for someone like this again. If you can afford it and don’t mind if it comes back fine but not when you have no money.

babysharkah · 19/12/2018 20:11

What a stupid thing to do. I really don't understand how you can fall for this kind of thing.

hmmhohmmm · 19/12/2018 20:12

It's very weird but I expect it pays well. Sorry OP

I would comfort yourself it's karma in the bank somehow.

Lettermethis · 19/12/2018 20:13

@Aquamarine1029

How can you manage getting through life being so gullible and reckless with your own safety? I despair.

There no need to be so rude and call the OP gullible and reckless. Like you've never made a mistake?!

Orangepear · 19/12/2018 20:13

Can you search on Facebook using her number? Not that she'd reply on there either I suppose.