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AIBU?

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Original poster

To regret helping a stranger

292 replies

regrethelp · 19/12/2018 19:58

I was stopped by a lady in a 2 seater convertible that she forgot her purse in a building nearby. Building was locked and she had not enough fuel to drive all the way home (outside London).
She wanted money for fuel. She drove me to nearby ATM machine and I withdrew money to lend her.
She told me she is an artist, I can find her online. Only told me her first name. I trusted her and didn't check details. She said she comes to my area 2 times a week to work on a stained glass project.
She promised to call in 3 hours. It's been over 2 days I haven't heard from her.
I sent her text and called her and got no response (her number is valid, she gave me missed call for me to have her number).
I feel stupid. Amount is not that big (£40) but I told her politely I am out of work and would need money back.
I usually help people (friends/family)going out of my way and most times I have found those people unappreciative.
I don't want to chase the lady but I feel very upset for being taken advantage one more time. I am feeling worse also because I am in abusive relationship and already feel pretty depressed.

OP posts:
Borderterrierpuppy · 19/12/2018 20:14

Don’t give yourself too hard a time, con artists are very persuasive. Sorry this happened to you x

Lettermethis · 19/12/2018 20:14

I am in abusive relationship and already feel pretty depressed

Also - I'd be more worried about this than losing £40. Is your partner abusing you?

SoupDragon · 19/12/2018 20:14

You've definitely been scammed unfortunately.

TheFaerieQueene · 19/12/2018 20:15

You are too trusting. That money won’t be back!

BatsAreCool · 19/12/2018 20:16

Oh OP. Yes you have been had.

Please don't get in a strangers car and hand over money again. It could have been worse than losing £40.

The problem is you judged that person to be as kind and honest as yourself but there are shitty people about and you need to be less trusting.

Teacherlikemisstrunchball · 19/12/2018 20:19

This exact scam happened to someone I know very well. He is a lovely person and the circumstances were identical. He never got his money back either Sad

TokyoSushi · 19/12/2018 20:19

Oh OP Sad

Clarich007 · 19/12/2018 20:20

It happened to us too so don't feel too bad.Out shopping in city centre when someone shouted my husband's name.We stopped and he said usual things"How are you, how's your Mum " Didn't recognise him at all then he mentioned the office so it all sounded very plausible.
Ended up giving him £5.As soon as i handed it over he ran off at top speed.Then we realised we had been had.I think we felt so embarrassed to not recognise him but he was bloody good.We felt so stupid afterwards but his sob story sounded very plausible.

MarthaArthur · 19/12/2018 20:20

You have been scammed op sorry. Now you know in future not to do this. Theres a woman in liverpool on crutches who hangs about lime street asking people for help then asking for money to phone her kids. She walks up and down every day all day and evening asking again and again. No idea if anyone falls for it. No idea why the police dont stop her.

Clarich007 · 19/12/2018 20:21

Husband's name is very common

jyggu · 19/12/2018 20:21

Sorry that you've gone through this OP, especially so close to Christmas.

I'd write off the £40, unfortunately. Although I may attempt the text that PP suggested saying that you'll involve the police. It might scare her enough. Might.

Original poster
regrethelp · 19/12/2018 20:21

Thanks everyone. I agree I shouldn't have gone in car with her. She seems to be in early 60, I didn't think of her a threat. I am generally very trusting of people. I won't do this mistake again. I can't call police. My h would judge me harshly.

OP posts:
Clarich007 · 19/12/2018 20:21

Husband's name is very common so not hard to find so.eone with that name in a crowded street

SummerGems · 19/12/2018 20:22

Sorry, 0 sympathy here for anyone stupid enough to fall for the “I’ll drive you to the ATM” line, get into a stranger’s car and actually go with them. Did she stay in the car or stand with you while you put in your pin per chance?

It’s one of the oldest scams going. Yes there are some persuasive ones but some that are bloody obvious and this is one of them.

So she had an iPhone then? No access to Apple Pay then or ability to access her bank account?

If this had been my partner I’d be fuming. People that gullible deserve to be had. It’s the reason why these scammers are so successful. They prey on the gullible and the stupid.

Perfectly1mperfect · 19/12/2018 20:22

Try not to feel bad. You are clearly a very kind person and the world would be a better place if there were more people like you.

Put it down to experience. Some people would take advantage of anyone. I'm sorry it happened to you.

What is the situation with your abusive relationship ? Can you leave ?

FuzzyCustard · 19/12/2018 20:22

Whatever the outcome, I think you have been very kind. I hope some good karma comes your way.

greendale17 · 19/12/2018 20:23

This is a classic scam

PoisonousSmurf · 19/12/2018 20:23

Sorry, but you've been scammed. Why give money to someone who's better off than you?

Lettermethis · 19/12/2018 20:23

Actually the more I think about it the more I think you should go to the police.

She took you to an ATM to withdraw cash. That's pretty fucking illegal as well as awful. The police can find CCTV, fin her via her car reg and prosecute.

She shouldn't be allowed to do this to other people.

Perfectly1mperfect · 19/12/2018 20:24

SummerGems

OP is already down about this. She knows she made a mistake. Your post is nasty. Do you feel better making others feel awful ?

PurpleDaisies · 19/12/2018 20:25

Would it be worth contacting the artist via their website to let them know someone is impersonating them?

Mishappening · 19/12/2018 20:25

Do please check your account online to make sure that the ATM she took you to was not bugged and she has your details now.

79andnotout · 19/12/2018 20:26

I got scammed for £40 recently too! Not the same story. And I realised I was being scammed at the time, but just decided to go with it. I can afford £40 though, and didn't get in anyone's car. Sometimes you're just susceptible to these things. I will put up more of a fight next time. Don't feel too bad about it, lesson learnt.

Move2WY · 19/12/2018 20:26

I would rather be you, and have friends like you, than her.

PoisonousSmurf · 19/12/2018 20:28

Anyone in real need would be mortified to have to ask for money and drive strangers to cash points.
Scammers have no qualms. Pity you didn't get a photo of her and the number plate. Bet she would have changed her tune then.
P.S, hope her car broke down!