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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To regret helping a stranger

292 replies

regrethelp · 19/12/2018 19:58

I was stopped by a lady in a 2 seater convertible that she forgot her purse in a building nearby. Building was locked and she had not enough fuel to drive all the way home (outside London).
She wanted money for fuel. She drove me to nearby ATM machine and I withdrew money to lend her.
She told me she is an artist, I can find her online. Only told me her first name. I trusted her and didn't check details. She said she comes to my area 2 times a week to work on a stained glass project.
She promised to call in 3 hours. It's been over 2 days I haven't heard from her.
I sent her text and called her and got no response (her number is valid, she gave me missed call for me to have her number).
I feel stupid. Amount is not that big (£40) but I told her politely I am out of work and would need money back.
I usually help people (friends/family)going out of my way and most times I have found those people unappreciative.
I don't want to chase the lady but I feel very upset for being taken advantage one more time. I am feeling worse also because I am in abusive relationship and already feel pretty depressed.

OP posts:
WilburforceRaven · 19/12/2018 21:10

Why don't we all chip in £5 each to you for Christmas goodwill that we're not all like that?

Oh, give me a break! If you want to send the OP money, then do off your own back rather than make stupid suggestions to others about what they should do with their money. I donate spare money to registered charities not some random off the internet.

karala · 19/12/2018 21:11

a good news story - a few weeks ago I was on a train and a young woman had lost her wallet and ticket and I gave her some cash and paid for her ticket - she asked me for my details and before I'd even got home her mother had texted me and paid the money to my bank account. There are some good people out there and not everyone is a scammer. I'm sorry this has happened to you but not everyone is rotten.

Waytooearly · 19/12/2018 21:11

(Neweternal was joking.)

Chloe84 · 19/12/2018 21:12

Why don't we all chip in £5 each to you for Christmas goodwill that we're not all like that?.

Is this another scam?

SummerGems · 19/12/2018 21:12

Why don't we all chip in £5 each to you for Christmas goodwill that we're not all like that? said no sockpuppet ever.

I do hope HQ have removed this poster’s ability to receive pm’s?

Guavaf1sh · 19/12/2018 21:12

Post her number

1Redacted1 · 19/12/2018 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OurChristmasMiracle · 19/12/2018 21:13

People like her have the convertible and iPhone etc BECAUSE they scam. Sure there’s also people who work hard for these things/have them on finance

I’m sorry you’ve been scammed. I would report it to the police in case this is a known scam and to prevent it happening to anyone else.

SummerGems · 19/12/2018 21:14

Funny how OP has now disappeared now that numerous people have reported the thread, hq have come on to issue a warning and some have even suggested on the thread that this could be a scam.....

1Redacted1 · 19/12/2018 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SummerGems · 19/12/2018 21:17

Car was probably a hire car or belonged to someone else. Phone was probably a payg and anyway OP could have just withheld her number and an iPhone has the ability to block numbers anyway so the fact she’s answering and then hanging up doesn’t ring true......

Merry christmas. Have to say I haven’t seen any of the usual christmas hard done-by scams on here yet this year....

Imalittleelf · 19/12/2018 21:19

I was beginning to wonder if this was a scammer trying to get Intel on how people would react, things a normal person would look out for, how they can make their scam more believable...

LittleLionMansMummy · 19/12/2018 21:20

What a lovely, kind thing to do for someone op. I'm so pissed off that scum like her take advantage of good people like you. You were naive, sure, but I really hope your kindness is repaid in some way, if not by her. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Neweternal · 19/12/2018 21:20

Yeah don't message me. Gosh it was just a kind thought. Felt sorry for OP!

eggncress · 19/12/2018 21:20

Tell the police but tell them you don’t want your partner to know. There may be cctv. They may know her/ her gang as they may have done it before.
She may do it again to someone else.

Neweternal · 19/12/2018 21:22

Quite silly in hindsight!

SummerGems · 19/12/2018 21:22

I have t say this is about as low as it gets..... :I was scammed oh and by the way am in an abusive relationship,” it’s bound to set the sympathy in motion given there are a lot of mn’ers who are genuinely in abusive relationships....

Chloe84 · 19/12/2018 21:23

No one is this stupid, surely?

SummerGems · 19/12/2018 21:24

Hehehe newEternal. Glad you’re not the OP. Wink.

Thing is that scammers like the OP do prey on people’s goodwill and actually there are a lot more who fall for the “I’m going through a hard time at the moment” line given some of the demographic on here (although people have become more wise to it over the past few years than would fall for a person asking for money and offering to drive them to the ATM to draw it out for them....

But it’s one of the reasons why the mn christmas appeal was stopped for instance....

Mummy0ftwo12 · 19/12/2018 21:25

Well on the off chance its genuine OP please check out the Freedom program

Pachyderm1 · 19/12/2018 21:25

You did a kind thing and were taken advantage of. That is really sad but shows you are a nice person.

I’m more worried that you say you’re in an abusive relationship. Are you ok? Is there something stopping you from leaving? Do you have support around you?

Perfectly1mperfect · 19/12/2018 21:25

There's no harm believing OP and offering some kind words. I would never be horrible to someone who posts something like this as it may be true. However obviously no one should be offering money to people in these circmstances.

caddywally · 19/12/2018 21:31

You're not going to get the money back, so I think you should cut your losses and try to be as annoying as possible. Give her number out to as many places as possible and keep calling her at stupid times.

BlancheM · 19/12/2018 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

lostinjapan · 19/12/2018 21:41

I am sorry you have gone through this. No one deserves this. Why don't we all chip in £5 each to you for Christmas goodwill that we're not all like that?

Yeah I’m sorry but if this thread should teach you anything, it’s not to give money to poor depressed, unemployed strangers who are trapped in an abusive relationship and have been scammed for £40.

I’m not saying I think OP is lying. But this thread should teach you to send people towards the official channels (whether that’s their bank, the police, a homeless shelter, a food bank, Citizens Advice, a women’s refuge etc) not to simply hand over money to a stranger with a sad story.

I really think it’s worth contacting the police OP. Next time she could scam someone who’s very vulnerable, you need to at least make the police aware of this.

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