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Original poster

To regret helping a stranger

292 replies

regrethelp · 19/12/2018 19:58

I was stopped by a lady in a 2 seater convertible that she forgot her purse in a building nearby. Building was locked and she had not enough fuel to drive all the way home (outside London).
She wanted money for fuel. She drove me to nearby ATM machine and I withdrew money to lend her.
She told me she is an artist, I can find her online. Only told me her first name. I trusted her and didn't check details. She said she comes to my area 2 times a week to work on a stained glass project.
She promised to call in 3 hours. It's been over 2 days I haven't heard from her.
I sent her text and called her and got no response (her number is valid, she gave me missed call for me to have her number).
I feel stupid. Amount is not that big (£40) but I told her politely I am out of work and would need money back.
I usually help people (friends/family)going out of my way and most times I have found those people unappreciative.
I don't want to chase the lady but I feel very upset for being taken advantage one more time. I am feeling worse also because I am in abusive relationship and already feel pretty depressed.

OP posts:
Heartofglass21 · 19/12/2018 20:47

I wont be chipping in any money, I dont give money to strangers. This could also easily be a scam aswell. People really are very gullible.

Nor will I. I only give to local, reputable charities where I can see where my money is going. Anyone can pretend to be someone else online, unfortunately, although I think in this case, the OP has been genuinely scammed.

callymarch · 19/12/2018 20:47

pm me her number and i'll call her at 3am, 4am etc.

Imstickingwiththisone · 19/12/2018 20:48

Post the number here OP

Georgiaposy · 19/12/2018 20:49

If she was running low on petrol, couldn't she just fill out a NMtP form at the petrol station? That's surely still a thing?
She certainly had the fuel to run you round to an ATM!
Never ever give a stranger money.

FuckOffAndWriteYourOwnArticles · 19/12/2018 20:49

Cancel your card OP and call the bank. Was there anyone standing behind you when you were at the ATM? Sometimes these scammers work with accomplices who get your pin from over your shoulder.

You should call the police as well. But even if you don’t, definitely call your bank and get that card cancelled.

NeedAGoodUsernameThatIsntTaken · 19/12/2018 20:49

Did you get her licence plate number? You should go to the police

Bacardi101 · 19/12/2018 20:50

Op please don’t be so hard on yourself it sounds like your having an awful time of things at the moment. What you did was super kind but I would just chalk it up to experience and try and keep your chin up Flowers

EmeraldShamrock · 19/12/2018 20:51

What a horrible person, you were kind OP. I would hunt her down out of principle. I really hope she returns this.

Fibbertigibbet · 19/12/2018 20:52

OP just take this as a learning opportunity that came along the hard way- don't lend money to anyone that you can't afford to lose.

When I was a student, a man who I'd been on a date or two with told me that he couldn't make his rent, and was about to be made homeless. I was completely taken in, and lent him £250(!), on the understanding that he was being paid in a week. With enough panicked phonecalls from me, he eventually did give me £50, but I never saw the rest of it. He moved to Thailand a few weeks later, so really just couldn't have been in the dire straights he was supposedly in. I've only told maybe one or two people. I'm so embarrassed that I was such a mug.

MarthaArthur · 19/12/2018 20:53

Everyone being harsh should give themselves a good talking to. Yes it seems stupid because it wasnt you there. Any single one of us could be scammed. No one is 100% turned on all the time. Imagine one day you are stressed out and someone catches you out. Sympathy goes a long way.

TheDarkPassenger · 19/12/2018 20:53

Tell your bank now!

It probably won’t bring the money back but she could have cloned your blinking card at the atm!

They might require you to call the police though, which I’m not really sure why you haven’t already

Delatron · 19/12/2018 20:54

I’m more worried that you got in a car with a stranger.

Please think about your safety, if people in the street ask for money then unfortunately they will rarely be who they say they are. You sound kind but you have to toughen up.

AhhhHereItGoes · 19/12/2018 20:55

You did a really good thing.

You likely won't get it back but there was a chance at the time you were really helping someone in need.

I'd advise never to lend to a stranger what you couldn't afford to lose.

So I'd lend a £10 to a stranger if I felt I should, but I'd cope if I never got the ten back.

Thank you for being generous in a world where few strangers are.

BlueJay1 · 19/12/2018 20:56

Oh OP sorry to hear this. Please don't be so hard on yourself you were trying to do a nice thing. It shows what a kind and generous person you are, with a sweet heart.
It's a shame it was a scammer, but that's no reflection on you - next time you'll be more careful. Don't over think it. Have a hot bath and forget about it for today. Best wishes.

MarthaArthur · 19/12/2018 20:56

Yes def check your bank op call them now. The faster the better. They will put you through to their fraud department and you can explain it. They will check if your cards been compromised. The bank may also have cctv of her or the car.

Huggybear16 · 19/12/2018 20:58

I wont be chipping in any money, I dont give money to strangers. This could also easily be a scam aswell. People really are very gullible.

My thoughts exactly.

AhhhHereItGoes · 19/12/2018 20:58

But as PPs have said getting into her car was not sensible. Sometimes being in an abusive relationship can make your look on the world a little skewed though.

I hope you get out of that relationship.

JudasPrudy · 19/12/2018 20:59

You sound lovely and I really really hope you get in touch with women's aid to get out of your relationship. You deserve better than this Thanks

gamerchick · 19/12/2018 20:59

I am sorry you have gone through this. No one deserves this. Why don't we all chip in £5 each to you for Christmas goodwill that we're not all like that?

Erm no we won't be doing that. How do you know this is for real for eg? Do you just tip up for any hard luck story that's told to you? Seriously man!

OP if you're in an abusive relationship maybe people can help you with that. Maybe help make next Christmas a brighter one. Flowers

HJWT · 19/12/2018 21:03

@regrethelp when you threaten her with police tell her you have a pic of her Registration

Handsoffmysweets · 19/12/2018 21:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

PatricksRum · 19/12/2018 21:04

OP Give me the number. I'll call her when my baby is crying at 3am Wink

medusa83 · 19/12/2018 21:05

I went travelling alone in Spain whilst at uni. One day towards the end of the holiday I was pickpocketed. They took my wallet which had my bus ticket from Malaga to Alicante airport, all my credit cards and every euro I had. I reported it to the police and asked about the British embassy, but they said it was shut (mist have been the weekend). I had no idea what to do and I didn't even have a phone that worked abroad.

2 strangers from Belgium found me crying outside the police station. They lent me €70 and that was enough for an overnight coach back to Alicante and some food.

When I got back to the UK I posted the money straight back.

So it's not always a scam. Although I would never offer money to peo0le asking for it, I do remember my experience and do offer money sometimes.

Waytooearly · 19/12/2018 21:07

Once I was abroad on an academic fellowship, with a few other researchers from my home university.

I went home for a week and two of my colleagues (a couple) asked me to buy some special treats for them and their kids, foods and toiletries they were missing from back home.

It was a fair sized list, like £20 worth of stuff.

I got back to the department and handed them the bag, graciously telling them a rounded-down figure and telling them to pay me back when they got a chance.

Neither of them had any money with them in that moment. Fine, why would they? But then the next time I saw them, the next time I saw them...

It dawned on me that they had no intention of paying me! They were scuzzbags and I hadn't done anything wrong, but I still remember the embarrassment I felt.

I got a sort of revenge by asking them both at a meeting and then telling them to accept the swag as an early Christmas present.

WilburforceRaven · 19/12/2018 21:07

You got into a stranger's car?! WTAfuck! That is so far beyond stupid and dangerous it's almost hard to believe. I would be furious if my husband did this and then handed over 40 quid. She had an iPhone and you didn't think to tell her she can access her bank on that, or call a friend, or laugh and tell her to fuck off?

You have some very serious issues that go beyond the 40 quid you will never get back. You have no self-esteem and it's lead you to an abusive relationship and getting conned, but worse than that, you put yourself in some very serious danger by getting into a stranger's car and so your first port of call should be the Freedom Programme and Googling 'how to become assertive'/gain self-esteem or YouTube before the next scam artist you fall for does far worse than just rip you off.

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