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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is NOT high maintenance

308 replies

Highorlow · 19/12/2018 10:09

NC For this...Went out for dinner and drinks last night with friends. And as we’re sitting chatting, friend A asks have I had my lashes done)? Me...yes I got extensions for the Christmas period (as I usually do) , conversation leads on to a full scale what else have you done then??then me saying that I usually get my lashes, hair and nails done at Christmas. Hair I usually get styled 3-4 times a year. Nails I get done quite often (every 3 weeks) and lashes for Christmas, holidays and weddings etc. thought it was fairly normal and that she does the same pretty much?? Friend B states that she hasn’t done it much since kids, friend A agreed and says I must be high maintenance whilst laughing. (I most certainly am not) it’s just something I do at certain times of the year to chivvy myself up. I have two kids so I feel I’m allowed to look after myself. AIBU to think this is not high maintenance??

OP posts:
daisypond · 19/12/2018 11:13

It seems high maintenance to me, but whatever floats your boat. I don't know anyone who's ever had their eyelashes or nails done, for example.

Merryoldgoat · 19/12/2018 11:13

I currently have an actual beard, so it sounds a lot to me, but it’s not ‘high maintenance’.

It’s nice to look nice, enjoy it.

GhostSauce · 19/12/2018 11:15

It makes me quite sad to see young teenage girls now who all have eyelashes/eyebrows/nails done and loads of make up making them look 10 years older.

Not sure why it makes me sad but it does. Most of them don't need it and I often think people look far better without it. But I know it's personal choice, I just prefer the natural look.

AnOtherNomdePlume · 19/12/2018 11:17

I do think fashion is occasionally a conspiracy against the young and beautiful.

hellojason · 19/12/2018 11:18

We all want to look our best sometimes, don't we? Maybe only for special occasions but most women I know will make some effort with their appearance for a night out.

The trouble is we can't always see ourselves as others see us and one person's 'well groomed' is another person's OTT vanity. I don't get the fake look some younger women favour - plumped lips, orange tan, huge eyelashes etc and don't think it's flattering but I'm probably old fashioned! Your beauty regime sounds reasonable, OP.

AnOtherNomdePlume · 19/12/2018 11:18

Fashionista with your MN name I'd be disappointed if you didn't put in some effort! 😁

LittlePaintBox · 19/12/2018 11:20

I'm the opposite of high maintenance, but I now get my hair re-coloured and cut every six weeks because I was constantly feeling I looked a mess when I was asked to do things at short notice - either work or socially. It seems like a lot of money to spend on my appearance, since I was very much brought up with the idea that you only went to the hairdresser's if you absolutely had to. I get allergic reactions in my eyes, but if I didn't I'd be getting my brows and eyelashes done as well because I don't like using makeup. (I always seem to end up looking worse than I started off).

I have a friend who is always getting something cosmetic done, but I wouldn't dream of telling her she was 'high maintenance' - how rude!

Bumbledop · 19/12/2018 11:21

Not high maintenance in the least and what a rude thing to say! I wouldn’t dream on judging somebody in this way.

cocodash · 19/12/2018 11:21

i get my nails, lashes and brows done religiously and get my hair done every 8weeks (roughly - im a fake blonde)

however, i spend most days i fall out of bed and out door in 20mins or less with zero make up on and hair scraped up into a bun wearing whatever fell out my wardrobe.

high maintance, to me, is someone who takes significant time and effort every day to do hair and make up to an impeccible standard and is always very smartly dressed and takes great pride in their appearance.

each to their own. but 100% not high maintance to me.

Lobsterquadrille2 · 19/12/2018 11:22

I can see why you'd consider it insulting. I think of "high maintenance" as requiring a lot of time, attention or money from somebody else. Since my DF died, my DM has become pretty high maintenance in that she needs my sister or me to be contactable at a moment's notice (which I completely understand and go along with as much as I can, for now). Spending your own money on lashes/nails isn't something I do, but my nieces have said to me that they proofread any text they send me in case they've made a spelling error. So maybe I'm high maintenance too .... (disclaimer: I am never rude enough to point out errors but I do proofread as a sideline).

Bumbledop · 19/12/2018 11:22

Oh and for reference I have my hair coloured regularly and cut every 12 weeks abs that is pretty much it. But I do like my nails done for Christmas. Have my appointment in a few days and am really looking forward to an hour to myself and having lovey nails for the festive period.

needsleepzzz · 19/12/2018 11:23

Guess i must be HM then, hair done every month (roots, occasionally a trim) and nails every 2 weeks, will be adding LVL lashes to that from Feb when my salon starts offering them.
I have a toddler too

needsleepzzz · 19/12/2018 11:24

I also do my make up every day for work, foundation, powder, bronzer.
Just bronzer at a weekend for some colour

canibehereifimnotamum · 19/12/2018 11:25

I get my nails done every few weeks and hair every 6 weeks, eyebrows 2-3 weeks, lashes I did because my manager did them buy not in the job anymore and can't find them for less than £100 atm! And I bleach my teeth. I don't think it's high maintance- that to me is tanning and lashes and extensions every day. That's what I could call HM

greendale17 · 19/12/2018 11:25

It’s high maintenance to me and my friendship group.

^I agree. Also you really get professional make up done for a night out????

Highorlow · 19/12/2018 11:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Highorlow · 19/12/2018 11:28

@greendale no I don’t get my make up professionally done for a night out 😮

OP posts:
YouCanCallMeJodieWho · 19/12/2018 11:29

I've never heard of lash extensions, I've never had my brows done and I've chipped my nail varnish too quickly each time I've had my nails done (probably three times!) so I live with naked finger nails. I do, however, spend a lot on a good cut and colour every six weeks.
Each to their own!
I wouldn't worry about it too much though. I don't think it's a really rude term - turn it on its head and consider they think you glamorous.

Shamalamalam · 19/12/2018 11:30

I don’t think it’s high maintenance

I used to have eye lash extensions regularly until they trashed my own lashes

I had my nails done regularly too, but stopped when I changed jobs - I can’t deal with long nails at work

Hair cut and roots sorted every 6 weeks

I remember someone making a snarky comment about having my lashes done regularly - it took about an hour to do so how could I find the time/wouldn’t I rather spend time/the money with/on my kids than on myself? - er, nope

BrokenWing · 19/12/2018 11:31

I would say you were hm mainly due to the need to go to salons to keep it up, but not unusual by today's glam fashion victims standards.

So many women looking great in selfies on social media with their thick contoured make up, extensions, lashes, nails and botox foreheads etc but don't realise how obviously plastic fake they look in real life.

I was a 1980s subtle 😂 make up fashion victim. If you are going to do it you need to expect the occasional comment.

CardsforKittens · 19/12/2018 11:33

I always thought high maintenance was a personality thing rather than an appearance thing, but it's not a phrase I've ever used. Why are your so-called friends assessing your level of maintenance? I do nothing except get my hair cut once a year but I have friends who do much more. So what? As long as everyone is comfortable.

YouokHun · 19/12/2018 11:33

Well, it’s a higher level of maintenance manicure wise than me, on the other hand I have expensive grey covering highlights fairly regularly. Ultimately we should all just do what makes us feel good and accept others make different choices. No one needs to justify their choices on this front.

Fairylea · 19/12/2018 11:34

Everyone is different aren’t they?

For me that is really high maintenance. But then I never cut my hair cut at all as I can’t stand going to the hairdressers so I just keep it long. I do my own make up (which would be hm to some!) and I paint my own nails if I feel like it.

I used to work as beauty counter consultant and now I’ve stopped doing that I can’t be bothered with much of any of it anymore!

I also take steroids daily long term for health conditions and they make my face pretty hairy but I simply don’t care about it at all. The bearded lady in the greatest showman is awesome. Who cares! Others would be horrified. Oh well!

user1457017537 · 19/12/2018 11:35

To be fair I think that’s the bare minimum nowadays. You enjoy it and go for it!

SleepySofa · 19/12/2018 11:37

I have my hair highlighted and cut every 2-3 months, but I’d class having eyelashes done regularly as quite high maintenance. I never have my nails done either, but that’s because I always break them after 10 minutes so what’s the point.