To think this is NOT high maintenance

[Highorlow]

NC For this...Went out for dinner and drinks last night with friends. And as we’re sitting chatting, friend A asks have I had my lashes done)? Me...yes I got extensions for the Christmas period (as I usually do) , conversation leads on to a full scale what else have you done then??then me saying that I usually get my lashes, hair and nails done at Christmas. Hair I usually get styled 3-4 times a year. Nails I get done quite often (every 3 weeks) and lashes for Christmas, holidays and weddings etc. thought it was fairly normal and that she does the same pretty much?? Friend B states that she hasn’t done it much since kids, friend A agreed and says I must be high maintenance whilst laughing. (I most certainly am not) it’s just something I do at certain times of the year to chivvy myself up. I have two kids so I feel I’m allowed to look after myself. AIBU to think this is not high maintenance??

I think you'll find it relative depending whom you talk to
I agree.
I think I have had my nails done once in my life. The idea of going every 2 or 3 weeks to get them done sounds ridiculously high maintenance to me because it's way outside what is a reasonable level of time to spend on my nails to me.

I'll happily spend £80 getting a cut and foil on my hair though and some of my friends who do nails think that's obscene.

It's all relative to your own individual priorities and preferences. We all hace our quirks.

Where someone does lots of image things then I would struggle to find common ground though

@Zanthay no I don’t find them irritating at all, I don’t feel them unless I’m in the shower and they get wet 🤣 which is strange 🤣

@Zanthey not at all. I've had mine on 2 years and forget I've got them really.

Had them taken off for 3 days last year for an operation and hated how I looked without them. Soon as I was out of hospital, had them back on.

Yes that’s high maintenance in my opinion. In saying that though I guess I would be considered at least medium maintenance. I get my eyelashes & brows tinted every six weeks and my hair cut and coloured every eight weeks. I think it’s a good thing. You are looking after yourself

OP I suspect you live in the North.

When my children were young I had no money to waste on cosmetic treatments, other than a regular haircut.

If you can afford this it is fine and completely up to you.

I would say you are highly maintained rather than high maintenance.

Maybe your friends were just joking, you know,a good night out together, so don't think about it again..

Its not high maintenance though,its good to want to look nice and feel good about yourself..
I would just like nice nails, as mine are crap, as always working in the soil and compost stuff, and doing diy things !!

No your not... I want some lashes now

Christ ... not at all .

Over Xmas / December I don’t even wash my own hair - have so many blowdries 😂😂😂

I have bad role models , my grandmother has her hair done three times a week by the hairdresser - never washes it herself 😂

I think it is really important to treat yourself because, as trite as it sounds, it is important to believe you are truly worth it. (Whatever treats you choose) I especially think it is important to teach my daughter that she is totally worth having nice things and doing nice things for.

I regularly have highlights/cut, dip powder manicures, pedicures, eyebrow threading, and LVL. Less frequently I have zoom whitening, laser hair removal, or a scrub and massage at the jjimjilbang, However I also do loads at home like facials/facepacks, eyebrow dying, footner/ babyfoot, Clarin’s tanning drops, and Crest Whitestrips.

Apart from my hair and the occasional big treatment (less than once a year) nothing is very expensive where I live. I do it for me and I feel good.

You’re not high maintenance, you just care more about your personal grooming than they do. Mention that the next time you get a snide comment. Letting yourself go because you’ve had kids isn’t something to be proud of!

I haven’t let myself go by not having cosmetic tweaking. I think it’s high maintenance because it wastes loads of money and time to maintain for a look I don’t like.
(I’m often surprising people with my age as they assume I’m much younger. I get loads of attention from the opposite sex so I know I’ve not let myself go!)

I’m going to sit in a meeting with about 20 highly paid men later today (and one other woman) and feel absolutely certain my respect in that forum would be diminished by fake nails and lashes! They would regard me as a dimwit. Wrong maybe, but that is how it is.
(I’d feel the same if one of the men strolled in with similar cosmetic work if I’m honest.)

It saddens me to see women feel the need to follow the sleb trends. I’m not jealous, more disappointed. I do think it is really age and regional. Locally a woman climbing off a surfing board with wet hair, athletic attitude and looking happy and ace is considered far more attractive. However if it makes you happy then why worry what anyone else thinks?

I think it all depends on what u can afford!! When my kids were small and we had a mortgage to pay and all the things younger people have to struggle to pay then all I got done was my hair every eight to ten weeks, because that’s all I could afford. Now I need as much help as I can get and I can afford it so I get hair done every six weeks!! Nails every two weeks!! Feet every six weeks, CACI facial every month, full body massage and scrub Most months waxing leg and bikini. Now that what I call high maintenance I and don’t care what other people think I have work all me life and I like to look well turned out and believe me girls it gets harder every decade!! My beautician loves me !! I’m probably one of her best costomers.

My friends daughters go to the local college for there beauty treatments as they do very good deals as the girls are leaning so you could alway phone up our drop in to get there price list I know they are very reasonable prices. They are always looking for people to practice on.

I have eyelash extensions in all the time. I get them infilled every fortnight. Acrylic nails done every 4 weeks, eyebrows done every 4 weeks, a facial and massage once a month and my hair cut and coloured every 2 months.

I don't care if people think I'm high maintenance. I can afford it and I enjoy it. And people who are judgmental about people who have beauty treatments aren't very nice in my opinion. It seems like just because it's "fake" then it's fair game to be ridiculed.

Nana- Eyelash extensions are not the drag like extensions that you see some women wear on a night out. They are usually a few natural individual lashes places around the eye area. Not the Towie like extensions
I wear individual lashes and I am in a high powered professional job and I can assure you that I am not regarded as a dimwit by any of my male or female colleagues
In fact, I regard being groomed as an intrinsic part of my job.

Sorry Nana , my post was directed at Brosnan

I wouldn’t consider it high maintenance. Although myself and my friends only get hair done and no nails/lashes. High maintenance would be much much more demanding. Maybe three hundred upwards a month on treatments? In my eyes anyway. I recon your friend was a little jealous and was negative as a result.

At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what people think as long as your happy

Areyou being sorry! I have obviously only seen the worst examples

It’s interesting to compare this to the midwife with coloured hair thread and also consider whether men would spend ages either discussing their nails or whether they were high maintenance. Women certainly have a huge amount of expectation placed on what they look like.

I still think if it’s what makes you happy then you don’t need to worry about what other people think anyway.

Lashes are not high maintenance, you get a 45min nap whilst having them done and then don’t need to bother with mascara! I can get away with just a bit of moisturiser if I have lashes, they make you look “done”. It’s actually a time saving genius 😬😬😬

I recon your friend was a little jealous and was negative as a result
I hate this ridiculous accusation on MN that a woman can't have an opinion about something without being jealous.

Have an opinion on large 4x4s doing the school run? Clearly jealous that they have so much money
Have an opinion on beauty treatments? Clearly jealous becaus either people look after themselves more than you.
Have an opinion on whether £100 is excessive for a sweater? Clearly jealous because you wish you could afford...

It seems like a silly way to tell women to shut up. (E.g. don't express an opinion the fact women are socialised to look a certain way or suggest that you feel it's a bit much Sometimes, I want to be validated in my choices so I'll accuse you of being jealous / it couldn't possibly be that you have a different view/attitude on an item or situation, nope let's cry jealousy)

Not sure it's high maintenance. I am in awe of anyone who can arrange their life to have the time - how do you do it?

I get my hair cut once a year. involves remembering, booking the appointment (they are usually booked up for the next month for Saturday's - can't really book a day off work to get my hair done!) and then driving into the city, parking, getting the bus etc, hair cut and then getting back takes 3-5 hours. Getting nails done - not as far to travel but weekend appointments unheard of.

No idea where I'd get lashes done but I have black eyebrows and lashes so mascara isn't necessary

What am I doing wrong?