Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is NOT high maintenance

308 replies

Highorlow · 19/12/2018 10:09

NC For this...Went out for dinner and drinks last night with friends. And as we’re sitting chatting, friend A asks have I had my lashes done)? Me...yes I got extensions for the Christmas period (as I usually do) , conversation leads on to a full scale what else have you done then??then me saying that I usually get my lashes, hair and nails done at Christmas. Hair I usually get styled 3-4 times a year. Nails I get done quite often (every 3 weeks) and lashes for Christmas, holidays and weddings etc. thought it was fairly normal and that she does the same pretty much?? Friend B states that she hasn’t done it much since kids, friend A agreed and says I must be high maintenance whilst laughing. (I most certainly am not) it’s just something I do at certain times of the year to chivvy myself up. I have two kids so I feel I’m allowed to look after myself. AIBU to think this is not high maintenance??

OP posts:
ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 19/12/2018 18:09

My friends regularly have their nails done, their hair done, spray tans, eyelashes curled and tinted, massages, facials .... there's nothing wrong with it they are lovely people, getting these things doesn't make them shallow vain people.

Lovewinemorethanhusband · 19/12/2018 18:13

I have my nails done every 3 weeks, hd brows every 4 weeks and my hair cut every 12 weeks but I wouldn't class myself as high maintenance at all, I rarely wear make up these days and the above it what I like to make myself feel better after running around with working and 2 kids, 3if you include the husband 😂

shesabloodywitch · 19/12/2018 18:17

Blimey if you are high maintainable goodness knows how they would describe me. Hair every three weeks, nails every two weeks, (tried lashes but don't like them), later facials every six weeks, massage every six weeks, waxing every 10 weeks and Botox and fillers every three months Grin

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 19/12/2018 18:34

I'd say it's high maintenance, because I don't do any maintenance Grin

Everyone does different things. I don't care about how I look so would never spend money on hair, nails etc. Some people do, and that makes them happy which is also fine.

Very rude to say it though, even if she thought it.

BlueJava · 19/12/2018 18:37

Personally I don't think that is high maintenance - I have hair done every 8 weeks, pedicure/manicure when I feel like it (say every few months). Very occasionally I'll go for a massage.

halfwitpicker · 19/12/2018 18:40

That's not high maintenance at all.

MysweetAudrina · 19/12/2018 18:41

I would consider myself very low maintenance. I am 44 but I go for regular pedicures, massages, get eyebrows and lip waxed every 4-6 weeks. Hair coloured and cut at least 3 times a year.

I am shite at doing stuff for myself so I have to pay for painted toes and waxed eyebrows as unable to do these things myself.

I do yoga barefoot in a studio every day so like to have neat painted toenails and waxed eyebrows really give my face a lift.

Luckingfovely · 19/12/2018 18:47

@Highorlow I am having my lashes done tomorrow morning, nails tomorrow afternoon, and hair on Friday.

I am a busy working mum and have had the most shit year ever with everything from bereavements to redundancy.

And I want to feel special for Christmas this year.

High maintenance? Bollocks. I deserve this.

OrigamiZoo · 19/12/2018 18:47

I dye my own lashes, brows and hair. I've had laser on my veins.

If i could afford t I would get facials, massages, nails, pedicures, lash extensions as often as possible as I love a bit of pamper. I promised myself nails for Christmas but I've chewed my cuticles now. Sad

anniehm · 19/12/2018 18:49

It's your choice, but it's pretty high maintenance. I have my nails done and even just that is high maintenance imho

MilkyCuppa · 19/12/2018 18:54

High maintenance is relative to what you can afford to have yourself. If I could afford it I’d be ridiculously high maintenance! I’ve never had a manicure, pedicure, lashes, facial or hair dye in my life because I’ve never had the money. So to me you sound very high maintenance.

Original poster
Highorlow · 19/12/2018 19:07

Yeah I really don’t think I spend that much, eyelashes are 40 and they last 3weeks or more, nails are 35 for a full acrylic set and then 15 for a refill. My hair is usually a wash, cut and blow dry that costs 28.

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 19/12/2018 19:33

I think its high maintenance, especially the nails and lashes. You seem to be spending £700 a year on beauty assuming you get fresh nails every 6 weeks and 4 lots of lashes a year.

I think I'm high ish maintenance about my hair. Cut and color every 8-9 weeks at £65 a go. Still only comes in at £400 a year. I dont have any other treatments, occasionally paint my nails, epilate once a week for swimming, self bikini wax monthly for same reason. Have been known to get a holiday pedi and kini wax but given up on that since dc. Do my own.

I dont think its a bad thing to be high maintenance. In the same situation you could equally be making your friends feel bad because you have the time, energy, motivation and commitment, not to mention the money to spend on looking good. So they could be jealous.

Im maybe a little sneery like your friends because i dont much like garish fake nails on myself (but like them on other people) and of the little time i can get out of the house to self care id rather swim or yoga than do my nails. Meh, each to their own. Do what makes you feel happy.

Original poster
Highorlow · 19/12/2018 19:37

@zennudist yeah I’ve never added it all up before but it would be approximately that I suppose but spread over a year it’s not too bad. It’s approx one weeks wage so as a percentage it’s not that bad if i think of it that way

OP posts:
Pringlemunchers · 19/12/2018 19:39

Yup ! But so what. You spend what other might consider a fortune or some might consider pittance. Does it really matter? If it is ok with you , that's ok. Don't seek reassurance.

Pringlemunchers · 19/12/2018 19:41

Did it strike a nerve with you ?

Pringlemunchers · 19/12/2018 19:41

And if it did , why ?

Bamchicabaawaa · 19/12/2018 19:55

Ignore it, it’s a crock of shite, as it’s all relative.
I have roots down to my ears and I don’t know when I last wore make up, so compared to me you’re high maintenance, however my twin sister is in the hairdressers every week, and hasn’t been without eyelash extensions since 2010. She also gets lip fillers every quarter. Next to you she is high maintenance- it doesn’t matter as long as you’re happy!

Original poster
Highorlow · 19/12/2018 20:06

@pringlemunchers I suppose it did a bit as I think there was no need if I’m honest

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 19/12/2018 20:08

I can guarantee your friends spend time and /or money on something you would consider a waste. Mind you, you might be a bit more sensitive to laughing at their choices and what makes them happy. I dont think your efforts are excessive so dont worry about it.

eurochick · 19/12/2018 20:26

It seems like a lot to me.

I have my hair trimmed and the greys dyed every two months.

I hate manicures but paint my own fingernails for special occasions and my toenails throughout the summer.

I pluck stray eyebrows when I remember.

I don't pay for any other treatments.

I consider myself fairly well-groomed. I generally look quite well-maintained (I think). I don't know anyone who has as much done as regularly as the OP.

ethelfleda · 19/12/2018 20:30

I dont think it’s high maintenance, OP.

I don’t do any of these things but have in the past. It annoys me I need to dye my hair so often cause of all the grey!!!

BikeRunSki · 19/12/2018 20:34

Its relative. It’s a great deal more than I have ever done (I get my hair trimmed every couple of months) , before or since kids. It’s a great deal less than some people do though.

EhlanaOfElenia · 19/12/2018 20:35

It's interesting, because while heading out to have these things done can be considered high maintenance by some because of the effort of making an appointment and sitting through the process, the fact that your nails, eyelashes and hair are done on a regular cycle means LESS maintenance at home. So you don't have to wear mascara, your nails don't need filing, your hair doesn't take a lot of effort to look nice. And I'll bet that while you are slobbing around in your pyjamas with your hair undone, you probably look pretty good (in a slightly dishevelled, unglamorous way!)

unexpectedgifts · 19/12/2018 20:40

I would say it was basic maintenance tbh.

I have my hair done every 10 weeks, nails done every 2-3 weeks, they are clear gel and look natural so maybe people don't realise.
I have facials every 2-3 months and pedicures occasionally I also see a chiropodist.

I don't consider this high maintenance either. It's needed at my age, I need all the help I can get!