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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is NOT high maintenance

308 replies

Highorlow · 19/12/2018 10:09

NC For this...Went out for dinner and drinks last night with friends. And as we’re sitting chatting, friend A asks have I had my lashes done)? Me...yes I got extensions for the Christmas period (as I usually do) , conversation leads on to a full scale what else have you done then??then me saying that I usually get my lashes, hair and nails done at Christmas. Hair I usually get styled 3-4 times a year. Nails I get done quite often (every 3 weeks) and lashes for Christmas, holidays and weddings etc. thought it was fairly normal and that she does the same pretty much?? Friend B states that she hasn’t done it much since kids, friend A agreed and says I must be high maintenance whilst laughing. (I most certainly am not) it’s just something I do at certain times of the year to chivvy myself up. I have two kids so I feel I’m allowed to look after myself. AIBU to think this is not high maintenance??

OP posts:
jessebuni · 20/12/2018 18:52

Getting those things done for the Christmas month when you plan to socialise a lot isn’t really high maintenance though more than a lot of people tend to do but I would say nails every 3 weeks is a bit high maintenance.

I have my hair done about twice a year and only ever have anything else done by someone other than myself for a special occasion.

Olddognewtricks2019 · 20/12/2018 18:55

I only get my hair coloured, no lashes or nails but still don’t consider what you do high maintenance. You just like to look groomed, and good on you for doing what you want!

bengalcat · 20/12/2018 18:55

Seems fairly normal . I have a salon blowdry every 7-10 days . Have my eyebrows threaded every now and then and leg wax etc . I paint my own nails at the weekend and if I was allowed to wear polish at work would have my nails maintained professionally too . Go to the dental hygienist 2-3 times a year . Botox the same . I’d just call it maintenance .

FuzzAldrin · 20/12/2018 19:01

I don't consider myself "high maintenance"

Full body wax every five weeks from eyebrows to ankles and everything in between

Nails done every three weeks

Hair dyed every six - ten weeks (no greys here yet..)

I do have my eyebrows microbladed - it was free

And I wear makeup once or twice a week

BackBoiler · 20/12/2018 19:08

I have a natural 'ombre' or whatever its called from the sun and friends think it is coloured. Make up takes 5 mins, sis in law does my nails for free every fortnight whilst we drink tea and have a catch up! I am definitely not high maintenance

BackBoiler · 20/12/2018 19:08

Id love a wax but im a chicken!

onegiftedgal · 20/12/2018 19:11

You have every right to cheer yourself up and it's important for mums to look after themselves as a happy mum = happy children imo.
We are all different. To me, having your nails done so regularly I think is a lot but then I worry that I'm not doing enough! I mean, I wear make up and try to make my hair look presentable every day and I think about what I wear but I have never had any nails done or lashes and my husband trims my hair at home with some hairdressing scissors. For me, it's a cost thing, probably from childhood where my parents were always counting the pennies. I just can't justify it when you can do it for peanuts yourself.
It sounds like a coveted jealousy thing with your friends and I'd be tempted to give them a bit of a wide berth if they are purposely making you feel like this.

kennycat · 20/12/2018 19:12

I feel like a tramp; I’ve just had to google what several of these treatments are!

It’s higher maintenance than I obv am but it was a bit of a judgemental comment. Unless you were miannng about how skint you were I’m not sure it needed saying.

I do very little beauty wise because I’m completely naturally amazing looking...

In actual fact it’s because I know that the phrase ‘you can’t polish a poo’ applies to me!!

ToftyAC · 20/12/2018 19:14

Hair done every 4 weeks (it’s super boy short so looks shit if I don’t). Had a pedicure in the summer so I was holiday ready and over never had lashes done (though have considered it). No, you’re not HM as you don’t have much more than me, and I’m the least HM person I know.

BitterestPill · 20/12/2018 20:02

Not high maintenance at all.
I have me hair cut every month, it's super short and grows fast
Mani and pedi once a fortnight
Eyelashes once a fortnight too
But......I don't wear make-up, even if im going out out, just vaseline on me lips ... and I don't blowdry me hair or anything, just wash and go.
With anything like this it's to each their own, horses for courses etc etc

user1457017537 · 20/12/2018 20:05

I’m not especially high maintenance but I do dye my own hair and I’m as good as a hairdresser at blowdrying and styling, thanks to amazing GHDs etc nowadays. I do however do several things a week, pluck eyebrows, exfoliate, nails, treatments etc. It’s important if it makes you feel good.

sunshine11 · 20/12/2018 20:08

They sound like ‘low maintenance’ friends - why hang with people who don’t take care of themselves aesthetically? Ditch them and get some better kept friends. X

Zanthey · 20/12/2018 20:31

Not high maintenance at all! I’m thinking I need eyelash extensions and hair and nails done! Sounds fabulous and a small reward after all the Christmas preparations. Don’t let their jibes undermine you and don’t waste your energy wondering what they really think of you. It’s their problem not yours. You just enjoy the extra boost. Do lash extensions hurt or feel irritating? I’m so going to look into them. Xxxx

CasanovaFrankenstein · 20/12/2018 21:17

High maintenance is just a bolloacks terms to put women down.

browneyes77 · 20/12/2018 21:18

@BackBoiler

Id love a wax but im a chicken!

Same!

I tried to give myself a home bikini wax once. I drew blood and ended up in the fetal position on my bedroom floor. Never again Grin

DioVelazquez · 20/12/2018 21:21

I cut my own hair every few months. And I have a concealer stick thing that I dab on if I have a spot (grown adult with bad skin here)

Apart from that I don't use makeup or do my nails or anything like that. Too much MAINTENANCE for my liking!

FortyFacedFuckers · 20/12/2018 22:09

It’s pretty low maintenance to me
I get my nails & lashes done every two weeks.
Hair, toes, facial/dermaplaning, waxing every month.
I’m pretty low maintenance compared to some of my friends who get hair, make up & tans done every week as well as the treatments I get.

GreyBird84 · 20/12/2018 22:14

I get my cut & coloured every 5/6 weeks - done by a friend for free. I get waxed every 5/6 weeks & eyelash extensions once a month.

I do my own eyebrow shaping, tinting & gel nails.

I don’t consider myself high maintenance & if someone told me I was .... i’d Tell them to go fuck themselves.

Tellem2 · 20/12/2018 22:18

You're making an effort with your appearance nothing wrong with that. Wouldn't say that your friends are jealous but I don't support when women make those off hand comments like that to one another. If it's any consolation women of colour particularly black women would get their hair done every 4-6weeks just as an example (well the black women I know anyway). But of course their hair type is different. Nonetheless I wouldn't say its being high maintanence.

MaisyPops · 20/12/2018 22:20

CasanovaFrankenstein
Or a phrase used to describe people who spend a bit of time on their appearance/seem to be endlessly picky etc. It seems to be a catch all term.

Saying that, I wouldn't want to be with a guy who was high maintenance. I couldn't be doing with shelves of beauty products, tanning, waxing, getting a beard sculpted etc.
Equally, my DH probably couldn't be bothered with a high maintenance wife.

One of my friends is (by her own admission) high maintenance. I feel stressed out just hearing her talk about her love life, shopping etc. She is a lovely person with a heart of gold but my gosh she'd be hard work to be in a romantic relationship with.

MummyBearBoo · 20/12/2018 22:30

I get a pedicure probably 3 times a year mainly in the summer and get my nails done every so often - I get my hair cut and coloured 3 times a year ( can’t stand the thought of having glue anywhere near my eyes so never have my lashes done mascara is fine- I have 1 daughter) I don’t think any of this stuff or the things you have done is HM! Your friend needs to meet one of my friends where she (her words not mine) has fake everything - tan twice a week, whitened teeth every 6 months, hair every 6 weeks (has extensions), nails every week etc! She is a mum of a daughter too!

2littleguineas · 20/12/2018 22:34

I think you'll find it relative depending whom you talk to.
I get my hair done every four weeks as it needs colour that often. Eyebrows once a month, nails for special occasions and maintain them for a while after until I find it too consuming. My adult dd does my makeup and lashes when I go out. I spend a fair bit on skin care and makeup compared to when I was younger.
In comparison to some friends who have weekly hair appointments, monthly nails, salon makeup for special occasions, and regular beauty treatments I'm much less groomed. Compared to some friends and one sister I'm much more together and to others I'm similar.
I'm happy with my level, maybe I'd like nails and other beauty treatments more often but I couldn't justify the money and already find what I'm doing a bit time consuming so I don't plan on changing and certainly won't be influenced either way by anyone else.
I'm guessing that without meaning to you shone a light on your friends lesser approach to beauty and her comments were slightly defensive, again without her meaning to be.

Andromeida59 · 20/12/2018 22:42

I think you should just do what makes you happy. I get my hair done every few months. I get my nails done sometimes and I love getting my lashes and eyebrows done.
I feel so much better doing it. I also like nice skin products and use face masks etc.

On the plus side, as I have really good skin it means that I only have to use a bit of lipstick. Saves me time overall.

Sod what anyone else thinks. If it makes you feel good, do it. God knows we have enough to feel crap about.

emmakc1977 · 20/12/2018 22:57

I don’t think high maintenance. I get my eyelashes tinted, eyebrow and bikini wax every three weeks. Also get gel toes every 6 weeks (gel fingernails chip on me so don’t bother anymore) and eyelash perm. I don’t even consider it maintenance lol. I’ve long hair and am naturally dark so my hair is extremely low maintenance which is blessing as hate the hairdressers

GinghamStyle · 20/12/2018 23:04

I think £40 for eyelashes that only last 3 weeks is an extravagance but then if it’s something you do just for Christmas, it must be a nice treat,