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To Ask About The Most Hilariously Awful Xmas Gifts You've Received

312 replies

Absofuckinglutely · 18/12/2018 18:10

Lighthearted thread. The SIL's awful gift thread on here today made me wonder what the worst Xmas presents you've ever received are.

My stepmum - dad's third wife (who clearly doesn't like me and promotes her daughters and grandchildren over my child - whom she blatantly doesn't care two hoots about), gives the worst presents of all time.

There have been a few - monogrammed animal print dressing gowns for myself and my ex DH (we were still married at the time, she's not THAT bad). Cheapest, most flammable and flimsy material ever, Ex DH's barely skimmed his bum, and funniest of all, bore my married initial, when she knew perfectly well I had kept my maiden name.

The worst / best though was a bottle of vodka. Not too bad you're thinking......however, it had been opened and almost a third was missing. I shit you not. She'd clearly just gone into her cupboard and pulled out any old bottle that was lurking about and popped it in a gift bag - job done.

I'd also like to mention that they are incredibly wealthy people.

I now shake my head, laugh and wait for the next hilarious instalment of awful present giving.

Do regale me with your tales of crap present giving....

OP posts:
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7
DownAndUnder · 18/12/2018 18:34

As I child I got a yardleys set every year from my great nan. She also sent a pair of size 16 pyjamas when I was a slightly chubby 10 year old, then rang my mum criticising my handwriting in the Thankyou

possumgoddess · 18/12/2018 18:35

I think I can beat all of you... 3 different years, from the same person. Size 20 'granny' knickers (we open our presents in front of the whole family so they went down a storm!) a black nylon half slip from M&S which, when I took it back to M&S to exchange it, they told me was at least 5 years old, and the (actually very nice) silk scarf I had given her for her birthday. Beat that lot!

PadawanCat · 18/12/2018 18:35

My mum’s boss once gave her a nightie. Used. With stains.

YesIDidNameChangeForThis · 18/12/2018 18:36

I once received a fridge magnet. Had a joke on it that I didn't understand. Another year I got a pair of black leggings that must have fallen out of a lorry..the seam started in the right place and twisted all the way round the front of them. That year I also got a bright green (like radioactive bright) polo neck. Horrific.

Madbengalmum · 18/12/2018 18:37

From step mother and father, a pair of light green velvet gloves with a pink flower, think corsage on them 🤢, the following year was a shite brown satin bag! Wtf. I took it as a challenge and bought them equally evil gifts, for my father a camouflage fleecey balaclava and for his wife the ugliest fingerless gloves I could find. They got the message and we don't exchange presents now, thank god.

lastqueenofscotland · 18/12/2018 18:38

Howling at the cat mat

I got an age 6-7 child’s skirt from an aunt the other year. I’m slim but not small enough to fit into clothes meant for small children!!

GertrudeCB · 18/12/2018 18:41

A passive- aggressive jumper from SMIL. Size 18 when I was size 10. Regifted from FIL who had bought it for her ( for that Xmas ) and she was a 10-12.

DuggeesWooOOooggle · 18/12/2018 18:45

My aunty (mother or 2 boys, hates shopping) once bought me a banker's desk lamp when I was about 12. You know the brass ones with the green glass shade. I was a bit Confused and I don't think it ever came out of the box before it was carted off to charity many years later.

Some of these are hilariously awful.

HeffalumpsDaughter · 18/12/2018 18:46

My MIL gets me a Willow Tree figurine for everything. There seems to be one for every life event. She gets me them because she knows I collect them. I collect them because she keeps buying them for me. They live in the loft except for the duration of her visits. For those few weeks a year every single flat surface in my house is crowded with groups of those faceless bastards. It’s like my personal Terracotta Army.

MatildaTheCat · 18/12/2018 18:51

So I was at home with two young dc and poor. Very poor. DB and his wife were living the cool life in New York and were not poor. Not even a bit poor.

They came for Christmas and they laid under my tree the softest, squidgiest most beautifully gift wrapped parcel full, I was sure of soft cashmere and Stuff I Couldn’t Dream of Affording.

Reader I was wrong. It was a pair of monster slippers complete with claws. A little bit of me died. I did not want the slippers nor to be the person Who might want those ghastly slippers From then on I vowed to buy my own cashmere and eventually I did.

The end.

Guineapiggiesmalls · 18/12/2018 18:56

An ex once bought me a gameboy game - I didn’t own/want a gameboy, but he generously offered to let me play it on his...

My aunt gave my husband a second hand young adult science fiction novel one year, that was bizarre.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 18/12/2018 19:02

My eyes! What the Fuck is that demonic crab thing??

My best shit xmas gift was a Perspex napkin dispenser. " you know, for barbecues." It was basically a square box with a spring loaded lever that could take your eye out if it sprang at you when you weren't expecting it.

I lived in a flat at the time so the BBQ useage wasn't going to fly - also, why a dispenser? given that I wasn't going to be using it for bbqs, how many napkins does the average dinner party need? Enough that they needed
dispensing?

I think it's still in the loft, with the original napkins still in it ( I mean, she wasn't a total monster, she did provide the necessary accessories)

Thisonewilldo · 18/12/2018 19:10

MIL and FIL once gave DH a casserole dish and some potato croquettes for Christmas - which they then asked if they could use for dinner (he said no.)

BIL got expensive festival tickets and I got some lovely pyjamas and slippers plus some vouchers.

For his 21st they gave him some (too small) trousers still in the carrier bag and when we moved in together they bought us some grave ornaments (they said they were tealight holders - yes they were but ones clearly for gravesides).

I often wonder what he did to them to make them give gifts like that.....

s0mewherebetween · 18/12/2018 19:16

I got an out of date diary from my grandparents - it was out of date by a couple years and I was about 9! They still give crap presents but it does give me a laugh, bless them.

OftenHangry · 18/12/2018 19:16

@HeffalumpsDaughter this happened to my mum, but with different type of figurines. 😂

halfwitpicker · 18/12/2018 19:16

Mil:

3 tea light holders from pound land

halfwitpicker · 18/12/2018 19:17

An ex once bought me a gameboy game - I didn’t own/want a gameboy, but he generously offered to let me play it on his...

^

Hence ex

1981m · 18/12/2018 19:19

One of those defluffers and wind screen wiper. My MIL likes practical gifts.

redcarbluecar · 18/12/2018 19:19

A couple of years ago, I got an 8-pack of Boots own brand tissues.

Poodles1980 · 18/12/2018 19:25

A travel mug with no lid from mil who thought I could just use it as a normal mug but the best one ever was when she bought dh some expensive aftershaves. He sprayed it all over him and we couldn’t smell anything, eventually we figured out it had a label on the bottom of the bottle which said for display purpose only so It was water in the bottle. I always wonder what Bargan shop she got it from .

thebear1 · 18/12/2018 19:29

A ceramic toothbrush holder, looked hand made and was mud Brown. I was 8.

73kittycat73 · 18/12/2018 19:31

My brother brought me a wooden 3D dragon puzzle. I was 43! My mum, bless her, brought me a set of pink padded clothes hangers!

APositiveMind · 18/12/2018 19:32

My nan, my dad's mum, gives me a card with those coupons you get in magazines, but like a few of them to clear make it look like a lot of 'vouchers'
Yep thanks nan now I can order that 'first free graze box' I've always wanted..
Best present she ever sent was a dirty dyat smelling clutch bag that has crumbs inside.

My parents are divorced and she is seriously set on making my mum know she hates us all.

FascinatingCarrot · 18/12/2018 19:32

Crying at the cable ties until I saw @Armchairanarchist
I have literally never ever seen a worse present than that.

Arrowfanatic · 18/12/2018 19:35

I always say on these posts but it just tickles me so....

Every birthday and Christmas for years and years and years my sister buys me lovely, luxury chocolates. Thoughtful you might think but oh no, they are always nut ones and I am and always have been allergic to nuts. She then laughs, and takes them home and has been known to post on FB pictures of her eating these luxurious chocolates she's "treated herself to"

One day I'm going to unwrap my chocolates and instantly hide them just so she can't take them back!!