To Ask About The Most Hilariously Awful Xmas Gifts You've Received

[Absofuckinglutely]

Lighthearted thread. The SIL's awful gift thread on here today made me wonder what the worst Xmas presents you've ever received are.

My stepmum - dad's third wife (who clearly doesn't like me and promotes her daughters and grandchildren over my child - whom she blatantly doesn't care two hoots about), gives the worst presents of all time.

There have been a few - monogrammed animal print dressing gowns for myself and my ex DH (we were still married at the time, she's not THAT bad). Cheapest, most flammable and flimsy material ever, Ex DH's barely skimmed his bum, and funniest of all, bore my married initial, when she knew perfectly well I had kept my maiden name.

The worst / best though was a bottle of vodka. Not too bad you're thinking......however, it had been opened and almost a third was missing. I shit you not. She'd clearly just gone into her cupboard and pulled out any old bottle that was lurking about and popped it in a gift bag - job done.

I'd also like to mention that they are incredibly wealthy people.

I now shake my head, laugh and wait for the next hilarious instalment of awful present giving.

Do regale me with your tales of crap present giving....

A credit note for a refund in Sports Direct for the amount of £7.79. Never shopped there in my life.

Actually thinking about it the friend also gave me a single Gu dessert pot for my birthday. He'd eaten the other one

The Baylis and Harding gift set

I HATE Baylis and fucking Harding . . .

I end up giving the shite to some charity raffle every year - despite me telling people I
a) can't use it (gives me a rash) and
b) don't like it, and
c) give it away

I still get landed with the stuff!

I now want a dolphin that picks up cocktail sticks

Takes ages to train the buggers, Malu, and your living room carpet gets soaked.

Lace modesty panels for covering up cleavage.
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/3-Pack-Cami-Secret-Clip-Mock-Camisole-Modesty-Parody-Panel-White-Black-Beige-/161140912593

I was a 12 year old tomboy with no boobs.

I received a change mat from my brother when DD was 3 months old.

The present was for me, and it was all he bought. He was 26!

When teaching in Japan, a gift set from a student with a delicate, feminine, ladies electric facial hair remover..... (Twenty years on, I'm wondering where I put it!)

Mil buys all her presents in Jan sales then gives them to you later that year so it has last year's decorated box etc. That's fair enough. One year the moisturising cream had been used, had a finger swipe in it. Mil will not use certain creams as has eczema .I think I got this gift 3rd hand... thought was there. The year after I got a 99p car seat cover/organiser. And some vodka. Don't like vodka. Always get choc too. I'm lactose intolerant...

Malu - the problem with Dolphins is that they want you to think they're cute when actually they're bastards. Cocktail stick tricks is exactly the sort of trick they pull. Didn't you see the "dolphins are bastards" thread?

This year she bought 9 ikea advent calendars for the 5 pound at the till. Then took out the vouchers inside before giving them to the grandkids :-) She ought to write a book. She made over 140 quid

NC as very outing

DS age 8/9 received a present in the post from his great aunt who lived hundreds of miles away. She has form for odd gifts so prior to opening we said how nice it was she remembered but warned sometimes she sends funny things.
A pink and purple set of hello kitty skittles.......for a 9 year old boy.

First Christmas with now DH I was given a tea light ornament thing. It had reflective and mirrored mosaics in every shade of brown, so a very 70s vibe, was in the shape of a mushroom and had some Chinese symbols printed on various parts of it in black.

I'm pleased to say he has improved since then (hope I haven't jinxed it).

My mil often gives me anti ageing products. They're decent ones though so I'm actually quite grateful.

Oh, and the time I got a Soap and glory (or similar) home spa thing. Bubble bath, shampoo, moisturiser etc.

@SneakyGremlinsBrokeTheSleigh what's wrong with that? 😕

Ferrero Richer from mil. Sure she new I didn't eat nuts but they were dhs favourite.

@youcanthaveitchyteeth I was a 14 year old boy! I wanted Lynx

@MsVestibule - I loved my tackyflamingo slippers! They fell apart very quickly though.

My Gran is notorious for awful presents, it kind of a running joke.

Just before Christmas one year she’d been to Israel and bought presents there.
I got a bejewelled elephant shaped figure, which was actually a jewellery box big enough to hold one pair of earrings, and my sister got a pencil case with just the word ‘Israel’ on it.

For Easter that same year I received a stuffed rabbit in a shiny brown shirt, it looked a bit like tiny egg boxes.
A bit of a strange one, even for her I thought, so I asked her about the rabbit’s choice of clothing. She explained the top was for me, and that it was one of those crinkle tops that expand.
After trying it on, and eventually having to cut myself out of it, I explained if it could fit a 10” rabbit toy it wasn’t going to fit me.

Lastly for a ‘big’ birthday one year DH got me a teapot, which also had a teacup attached. I’m not even that fond of tea.

@SneakyGremlinsBrokeTheSleigh 😂😂
I couldn't find your earlier post I assumed you were a woman 😂😂

Aw, tough day at work and this thread has cheered me up!
My dad got my mum and 8foot air hockey table because she likes a go on it at the seaside - he was so excited. She was not.

For many years DH had bought me lovely thoughtful gifts, starting with a piece of gold jewellery on Christmas Eve and then a few more thoughtful smaller items on Christmas Day. Until the year I opened a set of Ice Road Truckers dvds, in a cardboard outer that looked like they came from the pound shop. “But you LIKE Ice Road Truckers,” he said.
That was not a happy Christmas morning.

He’s got better again since then! 😄

Some vouchers from a beauty salon, that had closed down the previous year.

Didn't you see the "dolphins are bastards" thread?

For those who've yet to have the pleasure...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3386868-AIBU-to-be-livid-how-dolphins-are-portrayed-compared-to-how-they-are

I love Bayliss and Harding stuff - their Midnight Fig and Pomegranate bath/shower wash is bloody gorgeous! Anyone who gets gifted some this Christmas, send it to me.
Blatant begging

A pack of 3 “Sloggi” pants from mil. Followed it up by saying she’d bought them but found they were too tight after wearing them! Couldn’t bear to even look at them as all I could imagine was mil wearing them and as I didn’t know which pair she had worn they all went in the bin.
She did buy me chocolates as well though, Ferrero Roche, She gave me them, then when I opened them she said I forgot you don’t like them, but I do so might as well leave them here!!

MIL once got me a little plastic container, designed for storing those cheese slices you put in burgers. Another year she gave me a wire mesh thing in a sort of 'A' shape, you're meant to hang your dishcloth over it to dry.... I don't have dishcloths, I've always used sponges, but even if I did I think it's a bit of a strange gift. She also wraps up little individual packets of tissues for everyone.

On the other hand she does also give some lovely gifts sometimes too....that's why it's so odd 😂