Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To Ask About The Most Hilariously Awful Xmas Gifts You've Received

312 replies

Absofuckinglutely · 18/12/2018 18:10

Lighthearted thread. The SIL's awful gift thread on here today made me wonder what the worst Xmas presents you've ever received are.

My stepmum - dad's third wife (who clearly doesn't like me and promotes her daughters and grandchildren over my child - whom she blatantly doesn't care two hoots about), gives the worst presents of all time.

There have been a few - monogrammed animal print dressing gowns for myself and my ex DH (we were still married at the time, she's not THAT bad). Cheapest, most flammable and flimsy material ever, Ex DH's barely skimmed his bum, and funniest of all, bore my married initial, when she knew perfectly well I had kept my maiden name.

The worst / best though was a bottle of vodka. Not too bad you're thinking......however, it had been opened and almost a third was missing. I shit you not. She'd clearly just gone into her cupboard and pulled out any old bottle that was lurking about and popped it in a gift bag - job done.

I'd also like to mention that they are incredibly wealthy people.

I now shake my head, laugh and wait for the next hilarious instalment of awful present giving.

Do regale me with your tales of crap present giving....

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
GodrestyemerrySchadenfreud · 20/12/2018 07:57

Placemarking to read later

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/12/2018 08:08

A bar of milk chocolate off mil.

I’m allergic to cows milk Grin

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 20/12/2018 08:09

A novelty coronation street bottle opener...oh how we laughed at that one...enough said
one year size 10 bra top size 10 pants from Ann Summers...still cannot get my head around the logic used in purchasing these as the person who bought them thought 2 size 10 items = my size 20...I give in I really do!

KingLooieCatz · 20/12/2018 08:10

Fake donation to Action for Children.

Agreed with DBIL and DSIL we'd do charity gifts. Didn't see them to do the gift exchange until February/March. They had nothing for me (NB two months AFTER Christmas) and said "there was a problem with the ordering". A day or two later the very same gift card to symbolize "donation paid for essential maternity kit for expectant mother in poverty" arrived at our house in the post. So my charity gift to DSIL was re-gifted straight back to me. Only without the actual donation to charity. Best bit, DH couldn't see why I had an issue with it.

isitreallymyfault · 20/12/2018 08:22

My Mother once gave my DH a calculator which was clearly a free gift with an insurance policy from Sun Life. It said so on the front!! That was his only gift that year. She is priceless actually. When my DS was 11 she sent him a Robin Hood outfit complete with Bow and Arrow (he loved him when he was 3!!) and last year she gave my DD a second hand home made jewellery box with a girls name on it which was nothing like my DD's name. I don't even open mine, I keep telling her to not send gifts but she insists.

PickleMeThis · 20/12/2018 08:26

Ex partners brother and sil gave me a filter coffee maker and glasses set one year. Might not sound so bad, but each component was wrapped in newspaper from July 1993.

It was 2007.

NotAColdWomanHenry · 20/12/2018 08:27

My worst ever was a bread owl, from my mum's boyfriend and his kids. A (bad) model owl, made from bread dough, baked hard and varnished, with a little hanger to put it in the wall. Not home made - it was from a shop. I was a teenager, but not a grabby one, I would have been happy with a bath bomb or notebook or whatever (or in fact nothing as I didn't expect a present from him).

The really worst thing though was I laughed about it to my sister while not realising he was in the room Blush Blush Blush CRIIIIIIIIIIIINGE that's why it's really stuck in my memory.

Also countless terrible presents from my mum, especially mad charity shop finds like a full length green cord frock coat, 2 sizes too small.

Armchair's crab is my worst nightmare - a present so fugly and bizarre that you can't compose your face properly! I find opening presents really hard anyway because I'm a crap actor and dread having to pretend I love something.

NotAColdWomanHenry · 20/12/2018 08:40

I actually love the practical presents on this thread. I would appreciate a nice spirit level and a snow shovel! I hate pointless presents and ornamental things that aren't my style, which most aren't.

But I suppose that just goes to show that good present-giving is about understanding the recipient. My best present ever was just some chocolates from a friend who visited me in hospital after a C-section - quality expensive chocs and she said "these are just for you, don't give them to visitors". I felt very cared for in that moment because she knew what would be nice for me.

bananasandwicheseveryday · 20/12/2018 09:10

I so want to contribute to this thread, but if I was to say what my most awful gift was, it would out me immediately. Suffice to say that everybody I've told (and there have been a lot) and shown the picture to, have cried with laughter.

nicenewdusters · 20/12/2018 09:13

A toad home. Ugly brown ceramic bowl for everyone's favourite garden amphibian to live in ! Funnily enough one never came to live in it.

My lovely boyfriend, when we were both 19, bought me a summer dress. Cotton, with thick yellow and green vertical stripes. Very Kirsty Allsop. I looked like a marquee.

CheddarIsNotTheOnlyCheese · 20/12/2018 09:37

A citronella (I think that's how you spell it) candle and a bathroom tile to put it on. From dh on our first Christmas together. Who says you can't find a romantic gift from B&Q for under a fiver?

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 20/12/2018 09:39

DM bought our DC (then aged 7 and 4) second hand Kodak Instamatic cameras. Even back then they were obsolete. She swore blind they were new but they had someone else’s initials scratched into them. Xmas Grin.

God knows what went wrong that year, she was normally very generous.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 20/12/2018 09:47

Not the worst present ever but my first BF bought me 2 boxes of chocolate for my 18th. They were lovely, I was genuinely pleased. I then didn't see him for a few days as I was on A Level study leave. But DM and I had a couple of chocolates of an evening whilst watching a dvd, it was my exam-stress reliever.

When I saw BF again, he went batshit because I "hadn't waited to open them with him" and "We'd eaten all his favourites and a few he'd been planning on trying" now. We'd only had a few! I know it's annoying when there's nothing you fancy left in the box, but surely they were mine to do with as I wanted!?

Fairypiggy · 20/12/2018 09:48

I now want both the dolphin toothpick holder and the duck decanter! Sadly they are both ££ on ebay.

NotGoodieTwoShoes · 20/12/2018 10:00

When i first got together with DP I was a size 8, weighed 71/2 stone.
"FiL" would send us huge acrylic jumpers from Littlewoods each year, mine was always a size 16. this meant that as soon as the shops reopened after Christmas we had to go into the town centre to queue up with all the other unfortunates and get a refund.

namechangealerttt · 20/12/2018 10:02

My SIL's doorbell didn't work and my FIL got annoyed that she would never hear him knock when he arrived.

Our doorbell works perfectly fine.

My FIL bought by SIL a wireless doorbell...but he must have got them on 2 for 1 because we got a doorbell too.

PeapodBurgundy · 20/12/2018 10:33

@zebrarobot I bet she bought them in the January sale and kept them for the best part of a year. They always go down to less than half price on the gift boxes, and lucky bags for about 75% off filled with loose items.
I mentioned my Nana on another thread recently, but she used to buy some corkers! Some examples include packets of brush in hair glitter (I was 27), Dsis received a bottle of In The Bight Garden bubble bath at the age of 19, last year my 31 year old DP received a Butt Ugly Martians stationary set. We used to have a competition to see who received the most random gift (never in front of her obviously). This will be our first Christmas without her, and I'm going to really miss that aspect of Christmas Day (not as much as I miss her obviously). In her honour we're doing a £1 challenge; we've drawn names from a hat and are buying the most random thing I can find. DM will be receiving some Christmas binliners, and DB is getting a bracelet which is also a whistle, a knife, a flint, a compass and a length of nylon cord Grin

LoadOfUtterBoswellocks · 20/12/2018 10:38

Got given a wicker work duck with pot pourri in it. It was about the size of an apple. It had a label on the bottom saying it was TO the giver FROM someone else. Regifting fail.

LoadOfUtterBoswellocks · 20/12/2018 10:39

Awh Peapod, your Nana sounds like she was awesome.

Got given a gift once that was, I think, intended to be a snub. It was a £1 ladle thing. However, it looked like a dinosaur and I was absolutely delighted with it - I still have it, about 15 years later!

PenguinsareforlifenotjustXmas · 20/12/2018 10:50

I've namechanged as this will out me - but I really wanted to share.

Picture the scene: You are seven years old and there is a huge box under the christmas tree with your name on it. It is from granny. Granny is wonderful and always spoils you with the best presents. She has been telling you that she can't wait to give you this year's gift.

Christmas day comes and you tear off the wrapping paper and open the box to reveal...

A school uniform.

A school uniform that's too big. Granny wanted to ensure you are still able to look smart for school even if you have a growth spurt during this year.

Looking back, I can see that she meant well but oh the crushing disappointment.

Shodan · 20/12/2018 11:19

Our first Christmas together, XH purchased all his gifts to me from an erotic lingerie type catalogue. One item was a full length, polyester nights with about 10 crisscross straps at the back - in a size 18. I was a size 12. But the best thing was a white cotton sort of body thing. It had a Velcro crotch fastening, then a narrow strip of fabric back and front up to the waistband, a narrow strip of fabric over each breast and a kind of turtle neck. Bad enough in itself, but what made me weep and snort with laughter was that he said, totally seriously, that he thought I could use it when I trained (I do karate). The thought of that Velcro wedging itself up my foof with the kicks and squats, and my boobs flailing around wildly when I sparred, was just gold.Grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/12/2018 11:21

My parents used to do stockings for dsis and I, until we left home. When I was about 17, one of my stocking presents, chosen by my mum, was the wool and needles for me to knit a scarf for my dad - so basically my present was work for me and a present for my dad.

Unusually for me, I did try to tell my mum that I wasn't particularly happy about being given a present that really wasn't even for me, but she guilt-tripped me into keeping it by saying that, if I was that upset, she'd take the yarn and needles back, give me the money, and knit the scarf herself, but it would be such a pity because she knew how much my dad would LOVE having a scarf that I had knitted him.

GodrestyemerrySchadenfreud · 20/12/2018 12:07

the (actually very nice) silk scarf I had given her for her birthday.

At least you got a decent scarf out of it Possum

babysharkie · 20/12/2018 12:12

An eye mask (the type you sleep in to block out light) that had no elastic around your head to secure it. Looked like a sanitary towel

babysharkie · 20/12/2018 12:17

Oh and my friend gave me potpourri for secret Santa when I was 16! I was horrified, he was upset and thought it was the perfect gift for me

Swipe left for the next trending thread