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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring this up with school - DS accused of 'rape'.

148 replies

MadMumx1 · 18/12/2018 11:34

DS, in Yr4, was a little upset last night and told me that a girl in his class has been horrible to him all day. One of the things he mentioned was she said that he'd 'raped' one of the girls in his class.

Cue me having to explain what it meant as he didn't know, which I really didn't want to have to do at age 8!

Obviously the girl didn't understand what it meant either but isn't this language at bit worrying at this age?

Considering bringing it up with school but not sure it's worth it?

OP posts:
Mymadworld · 18/12/2018 11:35

Absolutely without question

RedLightIndicatesDoorsRSecure · 18/12/2018 11:35

How awful for your DS.

I would bring it up with the school

Write · 18/12/2018 11:36

Definitely speak to the teacher and find out what sparked it

MatildaTheCat · 18/12/2018 11:36

Yes, that child needs to understand the massive implications of calling someone a rapist. I wouldn’t present it as a complaint but as a concern.

Justanothernameonthepage · 18/12/2018 11:36

I would definitely bring it up. Just let the teacher know.

StylishMummy · 18/12/2018 11:36

Absolutely bring it up with school, that could be a huge fan of worms in a couple of years and she (and the rest of the class) need it making very bloody clear that word is not used lightly. Also potential safeguarding issue if she's exposed to things she shouldn't be. Have they had any form of sex Ed yet?

SunburstsOrMarbleHalls · 18/12/2018 11:36

Absolutely bring this up with the school as a matter of urgency.

Timeforabiscuit · 18/12/2018 11:37

Absolutely bring it up with the school, they may be aware of other things going on and be able to explain things in an age appropriate way to the class as well as the girl.

Raininspaintoday · 18/12/2018 11:37

Um yes you need to tell the school about this asap. What a horrible nasty accusation, that could follow him round a life time. Where us an 8 yo even leaning that language.

fuzzywuzzy · 18/12/2018 11:37

I would definitely speak to the class teacher about this.

The girl/class need to be spoken to.

That is very inappropriate language for an eight year old and alsoyour son being targettted by this girl is not nice for him and needs to be dealt with.

SylviaAndSydney · 18/12/2018 11:37

Yes, you can’t have words like that bandied about.

Grumpbum123 · 18/12/2018 11:37

I think I would say something. I had similar when my DD was called a paedophile in year 2. School sorted it out as to where it had stemed from and appeared to sort it out appropriately

NonaGrey · 18/12/2018 11:37

I’d have been calling the school first thing this morning. That’s a very serious thing.

arethereanyleftatall · 18/12/2018 11:40

Absolutely yes. Not because of your son, but because of that poor little girl.

PumpkinKitty82 · 18/12/2018 11:41

100 times yes!
You don’t want her saying this to anyone else .
Could you imagine the implications for your son if an adult heard her saying this?!

Monkeynuts18 · 18/12/2018 11:42

Yes, definitely raise it. The girl more than likely has no idea what it means and has just picked up that it’s a negative thing, but she clearly needs to understand what a serious thing it is to say.

PumpkinKitty82 · 18/12/2018 11:42

arethereanyleftatall What? What about the little girl?
Her son was called a rapist

bridezilla1 · 18/12/2018 11:44

Yes definatley. I'd think this was a safe guarding concern for the "accuser" really as an 8 year old shouldn't really understand what it means let alone be using it as an insult or unfounded accusation at school.

Also worth mentioning in case your DS or another child are accused in future by this child as they would be duty bound to investigate the concerns.

EightWellies · 18/12/2018 11:45

You absolutely need to phone the school, but I'm really surprised by the way people here are jumping on the girl and assuming the OP's son must be entirely innocent of any wrong doing. What happened to We Believe You? Something has sparked this and it's important to get to the bottom of it to help both children.

ihatehoney · 18/12/2018 11:47

@EightWellies I highly doubt an 8 year old boy would have the capability to rape someone- and at school no less🤨🤨 she's probably heard it somewhere- newspaper or from her parents maybe and repeated it.

ihatehoney · 18/12/2018 11:48

Can you imagine if that little girl accused an ADULT of raping someone? And literally just didn't know what the word meant?!

Original poster
MadMumx1 · 18/12/2018 11:48

EightWellies they're 8! I can categorically say DS is completely innocentConfused.

It was sparked by DS accidentally bumping into the girl he was later accused of 'raping'.

I have obviously told him it was ridiculous and the girl was using a word she didn't understand the meaning of, and to tell the teacher if she says anything again.

OP posts:
Candy43 · 18/12/2018 11:49

Without question I’d bring it up

Shootingstar20 · 18/12/2018 11:54

Definitely bring it up with the school, the girl has learned the word from somewhere which is very concerning.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 18/12/2018 11:56

It's quite possible that the girl didn't know the meaning of the word either, maybe thought it meant 'hit' or similar.

A friend of mine was once mortified when her dd of 8 or 9 yelled at the top of her voice, in summer with all the windows open for all the neighbours to hear, 'Mum, John (elder brother, not real name) is raping me!'

It was just one of their usual fights.

In any case, I would most definitely bring it up with the school. Your poor ds.