My abusive ex would swing between saying I had to have my child, and the cat, and blah blah blah to saying that he would take them off me because he didn't like my non compliance with his ridiculous and controlling rules. It's standard for men like these. My child has been all the better since he was stopped from seeing my child.
"I’m afraid further to your messages I have instructed a solicitor. Should you wish to arrange contact, you will need to do so through the proper channels. I have significant concerns as to your behaviour, and as a result contact can no longer be arranged directly.”
This is the most suitable message I'd advise.
Regarding him speaking to a solicitor, he will lie but you have evidence to the contrary, through the texts, which show you have offered consistent access which he has denied because it isn't as he wants it.
He has no stance.
I wanted the same arrangement as with my eldest's father, with my second. I knew it was unlikely. I knew leaving him would involve court somewhere along the lines. It did. I was advised to stop contact and wait for him to instruct a solicitor (I sent one last message instructing him to seek legal advice and gave my solicitor's details).
One of the things I was applauded for by SS and all the other teams I had working with us, was that I reacted to nothing. It's very, very hard, but if you can stay calm and react positively neutral to everything which is thrown at you, without doing the obvious "I'm staying petulantly that you're not bugging me because actually you're blatantly bugging me" mentality, it will wind him up because he wants a reaction from you. And by staying neutral and not rising to anything, you're completely in the right. I did this in an hour long meeting at SS with the ex, his partner, SS, the HV, women's aid, and the play support worker all present. It was the first time they actually saw him as I describe him to people. They couldn't believe how I handled it. My response was, "oh - was he that bad - he's like that every time there's any communication, this wasn't a specially bad incident". Because it was the truth.
OP, I would be pressing for contact to take place through a contact centre. I would also be ringing the Mon emergency police on 101 to report every single thing so far and to say that you feel scares in your own home and are vulnerable, on your own and with a small child and a newborn. They will probably put a marker on your address so that if anything is reported in by anyone in the area, they'll know you're at risk. And ask a friend or your aunt to stay with you for your own piece of mind.
I've been through this. I've done being abused. Domestic violence which carried on after he allowed me to finally leave. And I wish I had had the strength early on to carry out the wishes of SS and stop contact when my child was still a baby. My child is now scarred from what we were put through. But they're getting better slowly with time and therapy.