To be feeling so lonely this time of year

[snowwheel]

I finish work next week and I’m dreading it a bit to be honest.

Me too! I'm a teacher so have 2.5 weeks of loneliness ahead. I know I should feel grateful but I am absolutely dreading it.

I can't give you any advice, OP, but maybe it will help to know you're not alone in feeling this way.

I hear you and I’m sorry you are feeling like this. I’m struggling too a little. What do you like doing? Any nice plans for your time off?

I actually deplore that workplaces now seem to force a compulsory closure over Christmas.

It's too late to sign up for Crisis but you could help out at a local Christmas meal for the elderly, or a soup run for the homeless.

Also I don't know where you are but all the London museums are open between Christmas and New Year, and London is quite quiet too. Could be a chance to catch up on a bit of culture?

Well yes I could - that wouldn’t really solve the loneliness though to be honest. It’s a nice thing to do but I just feel so down.

I'm sorry you feel like that OP. When I've felt lonely in the past I remember reading lots of practical advice but the most useful thing I found was just to accept the feeling, let it wash over me and know that I won't always feel like that.

I actually deplore that workplaces now seem to force a compulsory closure over Christmas.

^I don’t. I think it is great. The majority of people don’t want to work over Christmas.

I'd definitely get involved in some kind of charity event - they are always grateful for the help and you can make a difference and make new friends too. Do you have no family or friends at all?

^I don’t. I think it is great. The majority of people don’t want to work over Christmas.

Good for you - such a compassionate response when the OP is feeling lonely. Xmas is a horrible time for people who are lonely.

So sorry you’re feeling down. The trouble is that Christmas really highlights loneliness and if people are feeling down it just makes it all worse.
There’s an expectation to be all jolly which becomes a pressure.
If you really don’t want to be alone, I think the volunteer idea is good. There must be lots of elderly who would be on their own and would love to see someone.
I hope you don’t find it all too bleak x

I have friends but they are busy over Christmas. I really don’t want to volunteer but thank you

I realise that volunteering for a few hours or days isn't an instant fix, of course not, but it gets you out and about, meeting new people and counting your blessings.

greendale17, yes the majority may, but some people might want to go in and do some quiet catching up and save their annual leave for a sunnier time of year. I don't like forced closure where some people have no choice but to take their scarce annual leave because other people prefer to.

OK if you don't want to volunteer, you will need to plan some activities. Otherwise you will have a shitter of a time. Sympathy on here won't change that.

Not everyone wants to volunteer.

Op so many people feel lonely. It's so sad.

Young and old.

Loneliness is horrible op. I'm sorry you're experiencing it. Its particularly hard at this time of year when there's immense pressure to have picture perfect Christmas jollity... No easy solutions from me, just hope that you don't find the time as bad as you expect to.

Do you have the spare cash to go on holiday? Maybe a group holiday would suit you.

I wouldn’t want a group holiday!! No, I’ll be OK. I’m just finding this weekend tough and it’ll be worse next week.

You can feel 'lonely' even if you're not alone - Xmas is a difficult time for people estranged from their families, even if they have a partner. As you get older, you find Xmas more and more challenging under such circumstances.

I've been there too OP.

How about a project...I used to used the Christmas period to do some decorating, and it was lovely to start the New Year with a fresh look in a room. And it is a great way of filling hours with something constructive.

I have had times like this and it just sucks. Whatever you do: volunteering, seeing friends etc, just patches over it temporarily. You still feel lonely. The only advice I have I that this too shall pass. You never know what your situation will be next year. Please hang in there.

YANBU. For some reason I’m finding it especially hard this year. I volunteer parts of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day as well as another two days Christmas Week and have done for 10 years since I was 24. If anything, the volunteering is only making me feel more lonely this year.

OP, all I can suggest is treating yourself as kindly as possible. Try and use the time to do the things you would like to do or get better at...anything from spoiling yourself with your favourite wine, chocs, bath products etc to decluttering or starting a project you’ve always been meaning to do.

Long term, if you are likely to be in this boat next year or beyond, is there anyway you could book a holiday for this time of year?

I do understand, it’s not anywhere near the same as having a happy, family based Christmas but it shouldn’t mean you should feel like you have no alternatives.

I feel sorry for you but you seem to be negative to all suggestions and unwilling to take action. This week I was at a church service and I got talking to a lady who recently lost her husband and both parents in the space of a few months. She was bravely getting out and about, making new friends by volunteering at a charity helping to run fundraising events. It wasn't really hard work, just selling tickets and running a raffle. But she pushed herself to do it.

You know you are going to have a crap time coming up, you have come on here to vent and get sympathy, but you don't want to take action or responsibility.

Sorry to hear this OP. Maybe the best thing to do is keep busy, as it's having a lot of time to dwell on things that makes you worse.

Tonight is my work christmas do, all paid for by the company,

But I was forgotten about so aren't going.(I'm always forgotten about in work - a team of 7!!!)

I feel incredibly lonely and isolated in work, which is the opposite to you but that doesnt help you.

It is the feeling of everyone having a great time, the media/soaps/tv etc highlighting the fun/love/families is just rubbing your face in it which is awful.

Loneliness is a horrible feeling - but the media makes it worse.

I’ve spent periods of my life being lonely, and Christmas is particularly hard. I can tell you from experience that life can change and things might be completely different for you in the future. And it is worth remembering that being in an unhappy marriage or seemingly stable relationship can be very lonely. Plan as many things as you can to avoid those long periods of being alone, whilst trying to accept the fact that at times you might be, and try and have something enjoyable to occupy yourself during those times.