Neighbour has ignored us for over a year

[Mk1234]

We moved in a year ago, next door to us are a couple with 2 girls. Few weeks after moving i went over with some some chocolates and said hi and general chat outside door step with the man, i even said tell your other half to pop over for a cuppa it would be lovely to meet her. The man has always been polite to us and will acknowledge us however the woman has not once said hi, there have been times when she is in the house and ive gone to drop off their parcel and she has not opened the door instead shes waited for her husband to come home to collect it.
From what i can tell there are no language barriers or health issues from what i can tell. Im not too bothered by it in all honesty as ive got far to much going on in my own life but just out of curiosity im baffaled as to why she is ignoring us.

Can’t believe people think the OP was too forward in saying the wife should pop by for a cup of tea.

That’s just normal!

They sound odd. I think new neighbours should at least introduce themselves.

You sound lovely

I'd be friends with you! I'm friendly with most of the people in my street, it's especially useful at this time of year when we all help each other with parcels etc.

Not everyone is friendly with their neighbours. I nod to them and exchange pleasantries no more, they just happen to live next door.

The days of being part of a community with our neighbours are long gone sadly
My mum still has this with her neighbours and it's a wonderful community of friendship and memories. It's also good to know your neighbours are liking our for you. I've always made an effort to get to know my neighbours as for me, it's important to know who my neighbours are but not everyone agrees and that's fine.
I'm lucky to have developed a close friendship with my neighbour and we have many happy nights as a four with our kids..

This thread has really brought out the worst in Mumsnet. Most normal people like to be part of a community and can handle a cup of tea and a chat without some insane fear of being over friendly with the neighbours. I sound like an old windbag but I do miss the old Mumsnet. Sadly most normal posters have gone completely or just stick to the shopping or practical threads.

You're totally fine, OP. You've got a dud for a neighbour but it's not to do with you.

What @IgglePiggleWiggle said! Honestly some of the posters on here are insane!

What happened to love thy neighbour?

It's all anxiety and now it's hidden anxiety!

It's a cup of tea not a lifelong commitment!

I'm puzzled by the idea that because someone might be a neighbour they can never be a friend. There are different ways people become friends - through school, through university, through work, through your children (toddler groups/preschool/school), through a hobby or interest etc, so why is the fact that being a neighbour such a taboo way of developing a friendship?

I am also puzzled at the anger that some posters have displayed at people who want to just be friendly, not friends, with their neighbours. They sound like really difficult people.

I am also puzzled at the anger that some posters have displayed at people who want to just be friendly, not friends, with their neighbours. They sound like really difficult people.

This

It was an invitation for a cuppa, not an order to walk the plank

I mean, isn't life just easier if you don't hate and resent everyone? Isn't it better if you can rub along in quiet harmony?

Maybe she's overheard you having sex and now can't bear to look you in the eye.

Maybe she's got a good reason for her behaviour, maybe she's just rude. Either way it's a waste of your time and energy to worry about it.

You've got a dud for a neighbour

That's fucking nice.

So even though people like me have explained it could be due to mental illness, like my PTSD or other people's anxiety disorders, that makes the neighbour a "dud"?

Wonderful that the mental health stigmas are still alive and well.

@WhyDontYouComeOnOver You're massively projecting what could be but most likely isn't the issue with the neighbor as only a tiny percentage of the population have PTSD. We aren't talking about you. So no, no one is stigmatising mental illness.

The vast majority of people are not so low functioning that a cup of tea would be terribly hard to endure. The OP is on here wondering WTF is going on and people are discussing it with HER not the neighbor. Unless you are the neighbor then she will be none the wiser.

Reading this open mouthed and think I'm going to take a long break from MN. The attitudes and outright aggression displayed on here towards the OP who dared to casually invite a neighbour over for coffee has absolutely shocked me. As I'm typing this, I've glanced up at my Christmas tree decorated with chocolate baubles kindly given to my children by our elderly neighbour. We're not best buddies, literally smile and wave when we see each other or, yes, drop off parcels into each other, but we manage to behave in a cordial and appropriately friendly manner towards each other.

YY to whoever it was upthread who wondered whether this might be why the we continually hear MNetters moaning about not having any support network. We don't live near any family and DH often travels with work meaning I'm home alone with my 4 DC. The relationship I have with my neighbours, on both sides, means that I could call on them in an emergency, and have in the past, if needed. The same is true of them.

Shocked and saddened, I really am. OP, you sound lovely and don't let the majority of these posters here make you think you've done anything wrong.

When we bought our house last year several of the neighbours came round to introduce themselves and welcome us to the road / area. We only say hello and chat a bit when exchanging parcels we've signed for, there are no enforced social activities.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a bit friendly with your neighbours; it makes it easier when one of you is doing a few bits to the house that are noisy (both us and our neighbours), or has a baby that cries 24/7 (them).

There's a lot of projecting on this thread. The OP just wanted to let out a bit of disappointment that her neighbour never speaks to her, even though she is kind enough to take in their parcels on a regular basis.

Guys come on lets be nice, cant we all just get along and be friends ...errm maybe not for some. You know what, i think im just going to stick with her OH ate the chocolates and never told her and that she herself is a cropper and has a cannabis farm

@Mk1234 confirm it after first snow😁 No snow on the roof - farm.

I don't expect to go round to my neighbours, but at least an acknowledgement (hello perhaps) is reasonable.

@WhyDontYouComeOnOver well seeing as OP takes in parcels and makes pointless trips to deliver them and the neighbour ignores her knocking, don't you think the neighbour or her OH should explain?

By not explaining a decent rationale then she just comes across as damn rude!

She doesn't need to explain herself to anyone.

I don't know why it bothers people, I smile at my neighbours but that's it, I don't worry about being friendly with them and I doubt they do with me. I have lived in a fishbowl previously (Army wife) and it was horrendous, people always trying to find out your business, questioning you on what take away you had delivered or where you were going at 7am the week before. I live a nice quiet life and the only people who come into my sanctuary are those that I trust and want to spend time with.

@WhyDontYouComeOnOver she does if she expects parcels coming to OPs house and then can't be arsed to answer the four! So fucking rude!

I have no interest in being friends with my neighbours. I'm polite if I see them but don't look to make eye contact. It just doesn't interest me to try to be friends them. My parents however are the complete opposite and have spare keys for each other's houses.