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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Christmas do cheaters!

333 replies

youcanthandlethetruth · 13/12/2018 15:28

Just curious as to whether this is the norm

One woman I work with is having an affair with two married men in our office. Which she and they have since admitted to. Notably was seen getting into a taxi with both following the Christmas do!

On the same night of the Christmas do, another woman kissed a man who just got married last month. Seen kissing a few times in front of everyone! When I asked her about it she said “awk it’s just one of the those things.” She also cheated on her partner earlier in the year with a different man we work with.

Another younger girl who just started in the office last month is also suspected of being overly friendly with another married man. Everyone suspects an affair but this has never been confirmed.

Thing is - none of their partner’s know. I know this for a fact from various conversations throughout the year.

And my male boss has admitted to fancying someone else in our office. He always says that if he got the chance to have a night with her he’d take it (again he has been married for a long time)

Am I the only faithful person out there. How do people do this with no conscience. I would feel wick if I did that on my dp.

OP posts:

OrigamiZoo · 14/12/2018 09:52

Otterses that is just foul, who would do that?

I'm thinking I'm the most straight-laced person in the world!

Whocansay · 14/12/2018 09:53

Otterses I really hope your DH told them how disgusting they were. That's such an abuse of your hospitality. I would be horrified if someone had done that to my child's things.

BlooperReel · 14/12/2018 10:08

At my current workplace there has been one confirmed affair, well 2, but both involved the same man over the years with 2 different colleagues. It was massively frowned upon and everyone has lost respect for the guy who has a wife and small child.

19lottie82 · 14/12/2018 10:26

One of my good friends joined the police (civvy role) at the age of 32, having lived with her boyfriend for 4 years. 6 months later they split up and she told me she had been having an affair with her female boss!

DonaldDucksTowel · 14/12/2018 10:45

Otterses what the fuck!?! 😟😟😟

Otterses · 14/12/2018 10:59

Oh by the morning we were both RAGING Spirited. She didn't give a fuck and tried to hang around and chat. The two blokes sort of awkwardly scuttled out the door. She's a completely entitled cow.

DH can't abide cheating, his parents were constantly bringing randoms home throughout his childhood, so he had a massive go at her and told her she needed to grow up and talk to her husband if she was that miserable. We no longer speak with her.

We've decided we don't 'do' Christmas parties now and don't have overnight guests.

Needadvice101 · 14/12/2018 11:41

Medic here and it’s usually drs/surgeons/nurses with other drs/surgeons/nurses- never heard of dr getting with secretary though esp as some secretaries are quite “homely”

A few of the older drs maybe but usually medics/nurse as we spend the most time together ie oncall/overnight when majority of rest of NHS staff goes home

Angelicinnocent · 14/12/2018 12:13

Various places I've worked over the years have had much drunken snogging going on but very rarely seem to have gone any further. Quite surprised to read how often it does.

SpiritedLondon · 14/12/2018 12:13

Wow! The 2 guys stayed the whole night? LOL. I’m somewhat in awe at the brass neck of them all. Speaking as someone who wouldn’t be able to “ perform” with one guy in those circumstances I’m pretty stunned.

StylishMummy · 14/12/2018 12:14

I've been in banking 10 years and every Christmas party has been '3Cs' - champagne, cocaine and condoms. I don't go and haven't since I got together with DH. Company I work for has been banned from a couple of local venues because it's so bad

TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers · 14/12/2018 12:17

Good grief. Is it something in the water? No, I'd have said I'd be very shocked and a bit upset if there was this level of cheating going on around me. I've worked in some places where the occasional person has a bit of a reputation but never where it's been en masse like this....

SpiritedLondon · 14/12/2018 12:18

stylishmummy

At least they’re practising “ safe” sex

user1474894224 · 14/12/2018 12:22

Ha ha, I did this about 14 years ago....drunken snog, partner at home. We now have 3 kids together!! So it does work out for the best sometime.

Note: DP no longer goes to work do's......he has no desire to meet and snog anyone....and anymore kids would kill him!!

@MrsMWA you are hilarious - better luck next time - maybe you should only buy rubbish edam!!

Porla · 14/12/2018 12:26

Cheating is the norm these days. We stopped shaming infidelity and started with the “none of our business, as long as their happy” crap.

I think fidelity in a long term relationship is very very rare

Lydiaatthebarre · 14/12/2018 12:32

[It's civil service and everyone is very conscientious!]

I used to work in the Civil Service and saw several illicit office affairs unfold, including one man who deserted his wife and 7 children to move in with a woman who had only been married for a few months.

However, I am shocked at some of the stories on here regarding Christmas parties. Very depressing and sleazy.

Magicmonster · 14/12/2018 12:43

Just to provide an alternative view to some of the above, I work at a big law firm and in the 10 years I've been there I can only remember one married person in our team who propositioned a colleague (who promptly turned him down). We have lots of boozy nights out, just not so much sleeze. Romantic liasons amongst the single trainees are a different matter....

GraceMarks · 14/12/2018 12:45

Lydiaatthebarre oh, I don't doubt it goes on, but people aren't as blatant about it as shagging in stationery cupboards during office parties. Our particular department is very small and everyone knows everyone else's partners, but in a larger department it wouldn't surprise me if there was a lot of grubbiness.

flintfoxy · 14/12/2018 12:51

Large civil service organisation with many diff offices. We have away days around 3 times a year and the bed hopping is notorious, married people with singles - all the combinations you can imagine. Ironically the nights out happen before the conference so if you are you get to watch all the furtive glances during he day between the people who hooked up at the end of the night!

gamerwidow · 14/12/2018 12:56

NHS here and it’s not been common in any of the teams or organisations I’ve worked for. Possibly because there’s a larger female workforce so nights out are seen as chance to have a gossip and dance rather than hook up.

halfwitpicker · 14/12/2018 12:58

When I was in my 20s (30 yrs ago 1984 - 1998)

Those were some looonnnggg years

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 14/12/2018 13:01

Those were some looonnnggg years grin

Haha yes realised after I posted - I meant I worked in that particular office between those dates so from when I was 19 through to my early 30s. I also didn’t mention Xmas parties in my post but they were where most of the affairs started. They were mad.

Alfie190 · 14/12/2018 13:17

I’m shocked that accountants are so racy!

I have worked in accountancy for 26 years and have never come across anything like this. Seems a bit odd to generalise by profession.

Belindabauer · 14/12/2018 17:48

I worked in banking and remember people getting promoted after shagging senior management. One Much older guy was married and promoted a young woman who had a partner and baby, even though she wasn't qualified to do the job.
Another married manager was shagging a married member of staff, it was rife. A male manager had to swap offices after leaving his wife for a young female co worker, who was engaged to be married.

I heard about the antics of some of the parties which involved overnight stays. Totally wild, virtually everyone swapping rooms for the night.

Getoffthetableplease · 14/12/2018 17:48

In my experience (insurance firm parties of about 200 people) usually at least 10/15 or so confirmed cases of non singles getting off with each other to some extent at the Christmas party each year, and they are just the definite ones.

Mummadeeze · 14/12/2018 17:58

I work in Media and it isn’t the norm. There have been a few drunken snogs at parties between colleagues but if they were married we were all very shocked and judgmental. It isn’t thought of as acceptable at all.

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