To think free family/ grandparent childcare should be banned?

[KnightlyMyMan]

This is a topic I keep seeing pop up and I can see both sides so wanted to throw it up for discussion.

Reasons I agree;

• It’s a HUGE and unfair financial advantage for those of us who have unpaid/ free childcare over those who don’t! It’s basically luck of the draw over whether you get to avoid £700-£900 full time nursery fees per child! In every other area of life it seems society is making it less acceptable to discriminate due to family financial status (uni funding - blind interviews) but ‘unpaid internships’ and ‘free childcare’ are two big remaining issues!

• It takes away jobs and is detrimental to the economy. (If all the children currently being looked after by family were in nursery more money would be spent, contributing to the economy, and more staff would be needed, creating jobs.)

But equally, as someone who does have free grandparent childcare lined up - of course I want to save (huge amounts) of cash and I trust my parents implicitly, no one would care for my kids better! Why should I give my children to strangers (even professionally trained ones) or fork out money I don’t need to?

The topic of childcare came up at work the other day and there was a definite ‘bloody alright for some’ attitude from those colleagues paying for childcare. It seems to be a subject that divides people very strongly!

I think you’re idea is bonkers OP, but to give you another point to think about...
My parents have provided us with free childcare for the past 10 years, and will continue to do so as long as they are fit and able. I am extremely grateful for this. However, as they get older, I will do as much of the caring for them myself as possible- should that also be banned, as I would be doing a carer out of a job?!

It's a scary thought that someone, with children and normal relationships, would think this up.

Thank fuck for article 8, in the Human Rights Act, the right to family life.

Children do best in extended families. Social Services and child law is based on this fact.

If anything we should get rid of the stupid laws we've bought in around childcare.

I was a CP SW, I provide illegal childcare, with a pool of other people for a Woman who would otherwise be destitute.

She has no recourse to public funds and it's either find 'illegal childcare' or be destitute, or return to her civil war, Boko Haram controlled Country, without her British Citizen children.

The prosecution of two Paramedics LP's who swapped babysitting favours, showed the law up, for its stupidity.

Some people couldn't work, if they had to pay childminding fees. Universal credit isn't working for anyone, but particularly the working poor.

The wages paid to Child Carers and all Care Staff are a disgrace, as it is.

It's good for older people to be around their child relatives. Good for their physical and Mental Health. It benefits the children.

I think that 'mucking in' in Family life, having to go shopping, fitting in with others, going on public transport, is healthier than being straped into cars and going to organised care/clubs etc. You learn to negotiate life.

The Government couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery. They have no right to get that involved in everyday personal lives.

As said, Government involvement to that extent hasn't worked in any other time or Country.

What an odd notion. Perhaps we should force people to live over 30 miles from their parents to facilitate this new law. 🤷‍♀️

Wildly offence statement there OP. WTAF!

Well of course caring for elderly or disabled relatives will also be banned then presumably and you'll be scrapping carers allowance, attendance allowance and any other care related benefits? Or do we just discriminate mothers (predominately ) with young children?

When I to back to work I will be using free family childcare. DM and MIL are retired and offer this voluntarily to spend more time with DD. I wouldn't be going back to work otherwise as DD is about to start a course of complex treatment lasting up to 2 years so like fuck would I trust someone I don't know to do it. These are the childcare choices that I am able to make as a parent. However, both my parents and PIL know that I will absolutely be there for them when they need it later in life, using residential care as a last resort only and supporting them to stay in their own home with a good quality of life for as long as possible. This is what they have both asked for. It's not an 'unfair advantage' it's called a family dynamic, or a choice. I could stick my kid in nursery and my parents in a home but why should I if it isn't what any of us want???

Op, if anyone at your work is making you feel bad for using grandparents for childcare, just buckle in and don’t feel bad. It is one of the flowers in your bouquet of life - enjoy it.

No. I don't have any parental help with childcare and am having to choose between full time nursery and becoming a sahm. But I don't begrudge those who are lucky enough to have the option of grandparental care for their dc. How does more people suffering help anyone?

Life is unfair. That's just the way it is. This is coming from someone who still pays out a big portion of my wage for breakfast and after school clubs. But as a single or parent I can't afford to not work.

Should all couples be forces to split, because there are a lot of single parents out there? And there are some families that get 2 large incomes? Shall we ban that?

Don't get why the solution would be to make life harder for everyone, I stead of trying to improve it.

And the whole point if this thread is.....no point.

What a bizarre thread.

The topic of childcare came up at work the other day and there was a definite ‘bloody alright for some’ attitude from those colleagues paying for childcare. It seems to be a subject that divides people very strongly But their comment does not imply no-one should have free child care.

OP, you've invented a controversy that doesn't exist.

I wouldn't have been able to afford to work if we didn't have some family help with childcare. Which meant I wouldn't have returned (would have not received any benefits as husband earned just over the maximum allowed). So not only would we have struggled without my wage short term, long term I would potentially have struggled to get back into work and most certainly would not be earning what I do now.

So where is the win? There would have been no more money being paid to private nurseries and my job would have been done by someone else (a man?) leading to more of a gender pay gap. So really, for society how would this create equality?

I actually read your post properly OP...
This is To those who do agree with your post...
We all come from different walks of life, some kids get a better education because thier parents can afford it, some get through uni debt free, some get handed exceptional jobs due to connections. At the end of the day it may be unfair but unfortuntley its life, imagine if grandparents didn’t look after kids, there would be a massive pressure on nursery’s and after school clubs. I count my lucky stars that my mum helps us otherwise we wouldn’t be able to live the life we live which is just about floating above water. She offered and loves spending time with her grandkids. I don’t take it for granted and don’t envy those who do struggle with childcare.

This is one of the stupidest threads I’ve read in ages.

People who moan about not having any family to provide childcare are usually doing it out of frustration that life is hard for them, not because they want other people’s family to be stopped from babysitting.

Most ridiculous thread I have ever come across.

I wouldn’t say this even registers as one of the burning injustices in society. If you want to make bizarre arguments, you could conversely make the case that all grandparents should be compelled to provide free childcare. It’s equally as nonsensical though and unlikely to be a real talking point 😂.

We paid childcare for around 6 years. There was only one childminder who covered our children’s school. DS hated it there. My DM retired and took over childcare because of this. She won’t be paid for it. Despite offering. We didn’t get any help with childcare prior to this. It is a really big issue and i think if free familial care is available it’s better for the children. My DS was out from half 7 to 6pm. That’s a long day. With my DM he leaves at 8:50 to go to school and is back by 3:30.

Errr... no. Part of life is that we all have different circumstances.

I have never had one days childcare by GP or any other family member since my eldest was born 14 years ago. I don't think family childcare should be banned at all. That is a silly idea.

It is swings and roundabouts. I have ZERO help from family, but have a small network of friends I implicitly trust. On the other hand I am a SAHM and my DH has a good salary. I am lucky in that way. Now that my DC are older I am glad GPs didn't look after my DC. We survived without their help and as far as I am concerned I don't owe them anything and their opinions on what I did with my DC fell on deaf ears.

Shouldnt be banned. Lifes not always fair.
And in many cases grandparent care offers the child lovely time to create bonds with family. Not to mention that the grandparents get to enjoy the little ones.

It isnt always ideal though. My in laws house is a full on danger zone as well as mil being disabled to point of being to cronically tired to care for kids. My parents make shocking decisions when in care of my nephew and i wonder how i made it out alive. I wont be using grandparent care

I'm going to challenge the assumption that you think this benefits wealthy families...

Surely if you're from a 3rd generation, never worked, benefits background you're much more likely to have unemployed relatives knocking about to do your childcare than if you're from a background of politicians, magistrates, bankers etc, many of whom work into their 70s

Great plan. I think I should be banned from cleaning my own bathroom, too. Firstly, it's unfair for my partner to avoid the job when single people have to do it themselves. Secondly, it takes away work from professional cleaners and shrinks the economy. What do you think of my idea? Any problems you can see? 😆

So using your logic, why don't you stop using your free childcare and pay like most people do?

What a bizarre argument to have when you're the one benefitting from free childcare.

This is illogical nonsense.

There are LOADS of things that cause a discrepancy in people’s incomes. Should we ban people from living close to their workplaces because it means they save on travel costs? Your suggestion is equally as absurd.

You can’t create equality by authoritarian government rules banning people from making perfectly reasonable decisions about their own families. You have to tackle the problem in other ways (government funded childcare, living wage, benefits etc). None of us would benefit from a government outlawing safe, practical solutions to problems simply because some people don’t have access to those solutions.

Well I guess you could even the playing field a bit by....
-Having universal free childcare from birth (not pricey much, and I expect the quality of childcare would soar)
-ensuring extended family care had a cost to it in some way, you could lop a bit off people's future or current pension? (This would be be a vote winner I'm sure...but would be only fair)
-making sahp pay for the privilege of staying home, by getting them to do some sort of community work for free?
-have everyone pay higher taxes so that there was a universally subsidised childcare system (whilst ensuring quality staff, paid a fair wage), alongside extended maternity leave, so people were able to take the option of staying home with their child. Oh and if people wanted their grandparents involved in looking after their child this just being welcomedas a positive all round, if you are lucky enough to be in that situation.

(Some of these suggestions are sarcastic)

So, as I’ve read all the OP’s posts, she obviously thinks this is a stupid idea, so why people are attacking her for that I can’t think.

This is unworkable and would actually increase inequality.
Some of those that rely on care from grandparents or other family members are on irregular hours or zero hours contracts or work night or back shifts or have disabled children that child carers won't take.
They don't have the option of nurseries or childminders ( and the financial support that can go along with this). You would be forcing them out of their jobs.