To think free family/ grandparent childcare should be banned?

[KnightlyMyMan]

This is a topic I keep seeing pop up and I can see both sides so wanted to throw it up for discussion.

Reasons I agree;

• It’s a HUGE and unfair financial advantage for those of us who have unpaid/ free childcare over those who don’t! It’s basically luck of the draw over whether you get to avoid £700-£900 full time nursery fees per child! In every other area of life it seems society is making it less acceptable to discriminate due to family financial status (uni funding - blind interviews) but ‘unpaid internships’ and ‘free childcare’ are two big remaining issues!
  

• It takes away jobs and is detrimental to the economy. (If all the children currently being looked after by family were in nursery more money would be spent, contributing to the economy, and more staff would be needed, creating jobs.)
  

But equally, as someone who does have free grandparent childcare lined up - of course I want to save (huge amounts) of cash and I trust my parents implicitly, no one would care for my kids better! Why should I give my children to strangers (even professionally trained ones) or fork out money I don’t need to?

The topic of childcare came up at work the other day and there was a definite ‘bloody alright for some’ attitude from those colleagues paying for childcare. It seems to be a subject that divides people very strongly!

[WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue]

Nothing can be done about it because life isn’t fair.

[Schmoobarb]

I dont think it's unfair I'm just insanely jealous of them

This! And have to bite my tongue when they moan about their free childcare. Well I did, not now as my kids are growing up so childcare isn’t as expensive anyway

[BlaaBlaaBlaa]

Life can be unfair. The adult thing to do is to make the best of what you have.

I would never resent anyone for using free childcare if that's what works for them .

We chose nursery over free childcare because it worked best for us as a family.

[pigsinarow]

This is the most stupid thread I have seen in ages. OP there is no ‘debate’ on this. It is not a topic. You have literally just made it up. Why? Bored?

[StoppinBy]

I don't have any support for child minding for my children and I think you are being ridiculous.

That's like saying everyone has to take jobs that pay the same so everyone is equal.

Some people are lucky enough to have that support, some aren't, it's just the way it is. Life wasn't meant to be fair unfortunately.

[user1473878824]

“I should clarify that my ‘banning’ it isn’t a ‘serious’ suggestion.”

Shame about your thread title and post then, isn’t it?

[Elphie54]

“Favouring not flavouring. Parent’s flavouring their children is a society with a whole different set of problems...”

Lmfao. Now I have to clean my computer screen. Thanks for this!

[QwertyLou]

If this is real, YABU.

I could just as realistically and fairly propose a ban on two-parent families.

I mean, all of you with two incomes and/or another parent to tag team childcare with - you’re really putting LPs like me at a disadvantage!

All your husbands/partners should be made to vanish like mine did - you’d then need more hours of paid childcare and that would be good for the economy

[KnightlyMyMan]

@user

I think my title is fair. Everytime I read ‘it’s so unfair’ comments I do think 🙄 ‘what do you expect them to do- ban it?’

[StoppinBy]

You know what we should do..... ban all Grandparents from working, yeah that would be great, frees up jobs for the younger generation and means more of them will be able to look after their Grandies.

That sounds like a much better idea!

[TheFairyAstronaut]

You could do something like give priority over free nursery places to parent’s who could prove no living relatives with say 50 miles or similar.

Onus is on those applying to prove they are eligible, something similar to old student grant system.

It’d be open to abuse by certain people, and it would create different unfairness, but it might end up unfair to fewer people than the current way of doing things.

[AornisHades]

The only way that could even begin to work is taxing free childcare as a 'benefit' but it would be an administrative nightmare.

[AdoraBell]

Ooh OP I had the most fair parents who refused to look after a grandchild when my sister had to work after her husband fucked off with his secretary.

[BlaaBlaaBlaa]

I've rarely seen people say it's unfair- people might be envious but we're all adult enough to understand everyone has different lives.

[KnightlyMyMan]

It’s interesting to actually consider options though right? Rather than just saying ‘it’s not fair’ - subsidised nursery for working parents- free spaces for those with no help.
Better than nothing

[Stompythedinosaur]

It is not possible to make life completely fair. What you are arguing is like insisting everyone has to use a wheelchair because some people have to.

I think we should be trying to support people in a worse situation having things improved rather than taking things away from those in a better situation. So if you were asking whether we should have more affordable and flexible childcare available to support people without family care available, I would agree with that.

[BlaaBlaaBlaa]

And this would be funded how?

[KnightlyMyMan]

@adorabell

So your sister needed childcare help and didn’t have grandparent support? I’m guessing some of the options being thrown around here like subsidised or free places would have helped?

[BlaaBlaaBlaa]

And how would it work for those who have help but choose not to use it?

[HestiaParthenos]

It sounds like you are trying to solve the unfairness issue the wrong way round.

What about providing free childcare to those who don't have grandparents who look after the children?

Forcing people to give their children to strangers (let's be real here, staying at home isn't an option for most) to create more jobs sounds like something out of a dystopic novel.

[TheFairyAstronaut]

You might also be underestimating how things even out in the long-run.

Here’s how it evens out in my family.

My parent’s are both dead. DH’s are both still living. SIL and BIL both have both sets of parents alive.

We’ve never asked PILs for childcare. SIL has. She doesn’t like BILs parent’s so she doesn’t ask them. They look after BIL’s brothers kids though.

So, in old age, the deal is that BIL’s brother will look after his mum and dad. BIL and SIL will look after PILs.

DH and I will go on holiday a lot and turn up at PILs with biscuits for a chat now and then.

[Redyoyo]

Well you could say then if you can't afford childcare don't have any children. Then you wouldn't have to moan about paying for it.

I'd rather they banned free parking, i currently pay £250 a month to park near my office, however our other office has free parking so if you work there you get paid more doing the same job, thats not fair but then again lifes not fair so tough titties!

[RCohle]

But what sort of police state would you introduce to make sure people really had "no help"?

How much help are you allowed? Are odd nights babysitting allowed? What about emergencies? What if my kids spend Saturday with their grandma because she wants to see them?

Isn't telling people what they can and can't do in their free time without compensation a huge restriction on civil liberties?

[Berniethefastestmilkwoman]

Yes, because life is so fair in all other ways.

I think we'd be better concentrating on evening the playing field for children born to families living in poverty. Why should they have to pay for childcare when they have grandparents willing to look after their grandchildren for free? What has it got to do with them that another family, possibly with a much higher income, has to pay for childcare? It's called doing it yourself. Builder's, car mechanics, chefs, hair dressers, plumbers, electricians etc can all do work for free for themselves and their families. They don't care that the rest of us have to pay for the same service. You can't shout 'but it isn't fair'.

Also, I'll decide who looks after my child. It is none of the government's business as long as every child is being cared for well.

I have absolutely no family help with childcare.

[StoppinBy]

Entirely directed at your last post...… you are actually not in this position so what right do you think you have to judge the way people who actually are in that situation feel about it?

Yes it is unfair, so what, lots of people say different things are unfair, and the more you speak the more you sound like you are just trying to gloat about the fact you have access to free childcare.

The people who you perceive as shouting 'it's not fair' are not actually the ones who can offer free childcare spaces and realistically if free childcare spaces are allocated everyone will be then shouting 'my taxes went up, it's not fair, I don't even have kids or use free childcare' so really you are trying to simplify something that just isn't simple.