To think free family/ grandparent childcare should be banned?

[KnightlyMyMan]

This is a topic I keep seeing pop up and I can see both sides so wanted to throw it up for discussion.

Reasons I agree;

• It’s a HUGE and unfair financial advantage for those of us who have unpaid/ free childcare over those who don’t! It’s basically luck of the draw over whether you get to avoid £700-£900 full time nursery fees per child! In every other area of life it seems society is making it less acceptable to discriminate due to family financial status (uni funding - blind interviews) but ‘unpaid internships’ and ‘free childcare’ are two big remaining issues!

• It takes away jobs and is detrimental to the economy. (If all the children currently being looked after by family were in nursery more money would be spent, contributing to the economy, and more staff would be needed, creating jobs.)

But equally, as someone who does have free grandparent childcare lined up - of course I want to save (huge amounts) of cash and I trust my parents implicitly, no one would care for my kids better! Why should I give my children to strangers (even professionally trained ones) or fork out money I don’t need to?

The topic of childcare came up at work the other day and there was a definite ‘bloody alright for some’ attitude from those colleagues paying for childcare. It seems to be a subject that divides people very strongly!

It can be a lot more than £900!

I've never seen threads where people go on about how unfair it is. I'm very jealous of people with free childcare. It would save us £35k ish! And then when they go to school we'll need some wrap around care. But we knew kids were expensive when we tried for a baby.

I wonder if we should be banned from wiping our own arses. That would create jobs for others.

They would be shit jobs though collaberate

I think making it compulsory to have paid childcare would mean the government would step in with our child rearing from babies! There’s already a massive erosion of parent rights (ie term time holiday debate) and we wouldn’t want that starting younger still.

As for if it’s fair. We all make choices based on our situations so it isn’t fair perhaps but doesn’t need to be.

Well we certainly have some weird ideas on MN 😂😂😂

Oh come on now op...you know you are being unreasonable.People looking after their own family members is perfectly normal.

Of course it can't be banned.

I do feel it's very unfair to expect someone to provide free childcare for children so that the parents don't have to pay for it. Lots of grandparents are guilted into it and are resentful about the situation.

Not all SAHPs sacrifice a salary, many never worked if didn't want to do that argument falls flat as well.

There's no stigma around free childcare that I've seen.

I don't think I've ever read something so ridiculous.

So what age should children be forced into full time child care, 6 months, 9 months, a year? Because that wouldn't be in the best interests of a child. And I say that as someone who used child care from 9mo.

I have never heard this argument. Because it’s fucking stupid.

The issue should be making childcare more affordable to people without family support. Why is 30 hours only available when the child is 3?

I’ve never heard anything more stupid than banning family childcare.

I sort of get you. We live a bit too far from family and have childcare costs of 1k a month. My sister stays in the same town as my family and therefore pays nothing. She is loaded.
But hey ho.

That’s ridiculous.
I’d never begrudge someone free childcare .
I never had it but doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want anyone else to benefit from it.
Life is hard enough as it is

That’s like saying no one can have anything nice cos not everyone else can have nice things. I don’t get this general jealousy where people actually wish for others not to have nice things just because they can’t have them too. It’s a horrible thing in society now. (Btw I’m a childminder so if I was selfish I’d agree with you cos it means more work for me lol)

Plus it’s not ‘unfair’ to pay for childcare for your own kids. I don’t know why people expect people to subsidise their own children’s costs tbh.

"
Not all SAHPs sacrifice a salary, many never worked if didn't want to do that argument falls flat as well.'

Is this really a thing? Women just deciding that they won't ever work? I have never known one of those under 80!

And @Leyani they really really shouldn’t try to make childcare cheaper: it’s massively underpaid as it is!!

Plus those saying about making free childcare more accessible it really really is IF you’re a low earner and need it or universally if you work.

Ridiculous thread. We don’t get any free childcare but I don’t begrudge anyone that does. I assume most of the time you would know your situation before having a baby and prepare for it.

Also, IMO it is not great for children to be in nursery under the age of 3. Obviously in most instances this is unavoidable (my own kids included). But why ‘make’ everyone just because of a bit of jealousy or a weird way of thinking.

I wonder if tye OP meant that if your parents look after your children they must be registered and they must be paid by you. Not that you couldn’t use them at all.
I would totally support that, many grandparents wouldn’t have a clue how to handle a paediatric emergency nor do they know anything about child development, I came home and found my daughter in a boy cry chair watching the cricket aged 4 months. I’m in no doubt whatsoever staying with that grandparent would have hindered her development

I'm always amazed about how many people on here complain about the free child care they get

I would totally support that, many grandparents wouldn’t have a clue how to handle a paediatric emergency nor do they know anything about child development

The same as most parents then? Grandparents should be registered by the state to look after their grandchildren?

What’s a “boy cry chair”? Is that a high chair?

Combined with the thread complaining about a Christian nativity play I am not sure what I am reading here today.

PurpleDaisies - is have parents do a course before they can leave the hospital frankly. But grandparents are not the same as parents do yes register them

I don’t understand 5five. Are you saying parents must do a course in child development and paediatric first aid before they are allowed to take their baby home?

What you are suggesting is unnatural. It is normal animal behaviour for mammals of many kinds to live in packs or herds or pods so the protection and rearing of the young is spread throughout the generations.

OTOH it’s also normal animal behaviour for mammal mothers of many kinds to eat their young if they sense threat and for the young males to kill the older males in a bid for power so perhaps my argument isn’t entirely sound.

Why the race to the bottom? “I don’t have this therefore you shouldn’t either”.

I had neglectful, violent parents - doesn’t mean everyone should. And my grandparents took us in and ended up bringing us up for free so would have been fun in my life if your suggestion was applied.

I think as well it’d be good for people who crib about the “free childcare” places to remember that they’re not free childcare. They’re free hours access to a nursery setting for a child, for the benefit of the child, not the parent.