I think the teacher is wanting to see me about what I said on Facebook...

[TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter]

Do I have a leg to stand on?

One of the TA's has been disregarding my 7yo DC's hard work and he missed out on 'extra play' despite doing the work asked of him (I can go into more detail if needed).

This is reading that is done at home and written in a book for school.

The TA was counting the reads, in fact totally ignoring most of them.

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I played it over in my mind for 2 days and did not understand why they weren't counting all of my sons reads and why he was missing out. Reading doesn't come easy to him, he would rather not do it, it's a battle every day. Yet we do it, we record it, but it's not being ticked off by the TA (some is, some is ignored).

Still not understanding why 50% of it is ignored, I went on to the Facebook class page. It's a closed group of 20-30 parents. A closed and private group.

I posted a picture of his book and asked them to help me make sense of it. I don't understand??
Some other parents couldn't understand either.
I said I was really disappointed in the person who marked it. That I would mark it for them and add up his reads and do their job so they could see in black and white what work he had done. I haven't mentioned any names. It's happened to other kids too and they are missing out on 'extra play' as well despite doing the hard work.

DS has been in tears about this several times.

It wasn't an issue for the first 3 years at school and it wasn't a an issue for the 7 years my other DS was at this school. It's an issue now.

Now they have called me in for a meeting at 3pm - I cant make it today but I'm almost certain this is what it's about.
I think someone has reported me being annoyed with them and posting asking for advice about it on Facebook.

But surely I can ask for advice and express my disappointment (the only negative word I used, I was very careful!) no names mentioned?
I need to know if I've done something wrong here.

I'm still seriously fucked off them them so I held back what I really thought and just saved that information for my husband.

AIBU?

I have 4 school age DC and sometimes I’ve come across class systems that I don’t think are inherently logical, or whatever. But in order to successfully teach a class I appreciate that there needs to be some class rules and that different teachers have different things that are important to them.

It literally likes 5 seconds to fill in a reading log. It’s obviously important to the TA that it’s done in a particular way so I don’t understand why you can’t jist do it the “correct” way and move on.

It has given me armour though, if that's what the meeting is about.

First of all we are on if this is what the meeting is about. The fact you've jumped immediately to this conclusion suggests you have some realisation that what you posted on the group was wrong.

Secondly "armour" ?!? Surely you should be thinking, 'oh, that's kind, the teacher is giving up more time to re-explain the system to me' - it isn't a battle You should be working together with the school to ensure your dc are happy and achieving their best. It isn't a 'battle'.

I thought you must have been working in a language that wasn't your first or second language at first - all this talk of "adding up 'reads' " . For goodness sake, you should be trying to install a love of reading in young dc, not making it into some kind of tick box exercise to force him to do. If you are writing it on a whiteboard, then transferring that to a book later, it must take longer than writing it in the book in the first place . I get the 'I don't have time to write in the book' - I went in to school with dc1 and spoke to the teacher about it. He was fine - there's no pressure, I can tell he reads widely and I'm not concerned. Some children who don't like reading, like, or 'need' a system of a note in the reading record each day. They are all different, but the point is, I was grown up enough to go in to speak to the teacher and have a grown up conversation about it, and not criticise anyone on Facebook.

What nolongersurprised has written makes so much sense - you should take on some of her philosophy.

OP how are you able to fill in a record for ~5 days reading all at once anyway? I don't get that.
How can you, at the weekend, remember which page you got to on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday... ? It looks like you're just making up random entries after doing big reads at the weekend.
If you're actually taking a note of it elsewhere, why not just write it in his record?

Whether or not the child gets extra play is entirely in the hands of his mother.

Could not be simpler really.

But that isn't right on principle. Never mind what you think of the OP, this isn't just about that. There will be other children whose parents are much less inclined or able to help their child read, children who are neglected/abused. Is it right that they should miss out on the extra playtime because, probably every single time?

Forget your contempt for the OP. Do you really think that's right? Because it seems downright wrong to me.

This discussion is no longer about the OP, I think, she's long gone. This is about whether schools should penalise children in this way.

We don't know enough about the situation to judge the teacher. Maybe whilst the bulk of the class are having extra play, the teacher gets to spend some very precious 1-1 time with that child who is neglected at home? Maybe she can hear them read, or read to them or give extra maths support, play a game, whatever.

The point is, that in this case, the OP does hear her son read and only needs to fill out the reading record each time to secure his reward.

So it's up to her really. She seems to be resisting it but, again, not really enough information to know why.

Where is the penalty? All I see is a reward not being applied. Unless ove missed something, the child gets all their playtime but the OP has decided they shpuldnt get the extra.

If the OP gave a toss about her child, maybe she'd spend that 10 seconds a day and the child would get the reward.

I think children should be rewarded for doing well at their schoolwork, behaving well. At my DDs' school, they get awarded 'wows' for individual acts, and if they get a certain number of 'wows' they get merit awards. That encourages them to behave well and work hard.

They get presented with certificates in assembly; most children get about 2 such certificates per term.

I don't think an extra playtime because their mum has filled in their reading record correctly is right because it isn't something they have done/failed to do. I feel the same about attendance awards really, they're rewarding children for being healthy and for their parents bringing them to school every day.

But I do agree with your suggestion as to how they could help an abused/neglected child whose parents don't read to them. That could also help a child disclose stuff that they wouldn't otherwise.

@UnknownStuntman

My point is that the child would see it as a penalty, and for something that isn't their fault. The OP said that her DS was upset about it.

I don't think children should be rewarded/penalised for what their parents did/ failed to do.

Ok, I can see that. But the OP seems to prefer him being upset than her spending a few seconds a day on his reading log. Its dificult to understand why that would be an issue which is why I don't think she really gives a toss about the lad. She's spent more time on here and Facebook than it would probably takes for a term's daipy updates on the log.

All schools use rewards for behaviour and work in school. There are loads of certificates and assemblies and every child gets something.

They try to find something to reward so that those children who are generally always making good choices don't get overlooked. They try to cover different ways to reward.

A child with health problems might not get 100% attendance but could get points for kindness and empathy.

A child with behavioural issues is almost certainly going to be in school every day so they would get the attendance certificate.

A child who is shy and reserved in class might always do their reading and spelling homework and receive rewards for that.

A child who never does any homework might make a fantastic construction out of junk modelling.

It goes on and on. So whilst OP is stopping her son receiving this particular reward, there will be plenty of other opportunities for him. Plus it's a good life lesson to learn that if you are late you will often miss out.

Fairenuff - that's pretty poor practise. I don't reward for anything I don't witness, or that's out of a child's control. To reward attendance is exclusion, to reward homework is exclusion, to reward reading at home is exclusion.

It's not exclusion if you find other ways to reward those that don't have parental support.

Yes it is. Because those who aren't being rewarded with playtime for reading at home are still being excluded. Shocking teaching.

Those children that are being rewarded with playtime for reading at home will be excluded from all the extra play given to many children during the school day.

You have to treat children as the individuals that they are and adapt rewards to suit every child. Exclusion from one type of reward applies to everyone. It's normal.

Everyone knows that the child coming out of school covered in stickers is the one that needed that extra reward. Just because others were excluded from that does not mean that it's wrong.

Extra play shouldn't be given as a reward.

Exclusion shouldn't happen full stop.

Everyone knows that the child coming out of school covered in stickers is the one that needed that extra reward

No. That massively depends on the teacher, the child, the school, the circumstances.

But the children will see themselves as being excluded from playing with their friends. Potentially only one child in a group of friends will miss out, that really isn't right. Playtime shouldn't be a reward, it should be for the whole class between lessons.

It's completely different from not getting a sticker or a special certificate. I don't know why you feel you have to justify it, just because you don't like the OP's attitude. Not agreeing with the strategy doesn't mean that she didn't handle it badly by complaining on social media.

It's not completely different. Extra play could mean activities within the classroom, not the same as playtime between classes.

No-one is going to leave one child excluded from something unless they are using that time to work 1-1 with the child. In a normal world, this is what happens. It cannot be exactly the same for everyone all of the time.

That massively depends on the teacher, the child, the school, the circumstances.

Regardless of whether it is extra stickers or extra play or more breaks or access to different toys or whatever, there are always going to be some children who get many more rewards as part of their behaviour plan.

It happens in every school. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Look for a constructive meeting, accept the staff member is identifiable and therefore not acceptable as you didn’t raise your concerns with the school.
Could always dig your heels in and sink in the mire- who does that benefit?

A child with behavioural issues is almost certainly going to be in school every day so they would get the attendance certificate.
Why? I've never seen any correlation between behavioural issues and good attendance.

Not really the point but at my kids' school, the class only gets the reward when the whole class has read 10 times, which shouldn't be difficult at all but they hardly ever get the rewards, maybe once or twice in a whole school year! It's sad and unfair.

And now, once they reach year 3, they get a new type of reading record that requires the child to do a review of each book and write a paragraph a bloody night, but only allows them to record the info for one book. So instead of reading a book a night, for fun, and being praised and encouraged in her love of reading, DD is only actually able to record one book a week but has an extra chore involved of writing about the one book. Meh. I'm all or reading and know how important it is but I'll be glad to see the back of reading record books.

I used to fill in DD's reading record retospectivly but I made sure I used a variety of different pens to make it look more genuine, She still read (voraciously ) every day it was just the writing in the reading record that was erratic.

Yes I can change what we do now (we will, even though I don't think I'm being unreasonable)

Hallelujah!

(but you were being unreasonable.)

I would just go in and tell them again what you are disappointed with and ask them why it is happening? Don't be afraid to ask questions just because they are teachers, in our school at the moment they are getting a serious wake up call for trying to white wash something and ignore peoples concerns, the parents have all had enough and the school are having to try and justify very stupid decisions they have made. Also don't be embarrassed or worried about what you wrote on social media, it is a private group for parents to ask questions most schools have them, quite often you get an answer without having to involve the school.

@Witchend

The joke amongst teachers is that the naughty ones are never off. And that comes from truth. Anecdotallly, most of the toughest, most naught children I’ve taught have often been the most vulnerable as well and don’t miss school because staying home is either not a choice or school is actually preferable to being at home.