I think the teacher is wanting to see me about what I said on Facebook...

[TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter]

Do I have a leg to stand on?

One of the TA's has been disregarding my 7yo DC's hard work and he missed out on 'extra play' despite doing the work asked of him (I can go into more detail if needed).

This is reading that is done at home and written in a book for school.

The TA was counting the reads, in fact totally ignoring most of them.

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I played it over in my mind for 2 days and did not understand why they weren't counting all of my sons reads and why he was missing out. Reading doesn't come easy to him, he would rather not do it, it's a battle every day. Yet we do it, we record it, but it's not being ticked off by the TA (some is, some is ignored).

Still not understanding why 50% of it is ignored, I went on to the Facebook class page. It's a closed group of 20-30 parents. A closed and private group.

I posted a picture of his book and asked them to help me make sense of it. I don't understand??
Some other parents couldn't understand either.
I said I was really disappointed in the person who marked it. That I would mark it for them and add up his reads and do their job so they could see in black and white what work he had done. I haven't mentioned any names. It's happened to other kids too and they are missing out on 'extra play' as well despite doing the hard work.

DS has been in tears about this several times.

It wasn't an issue for the first 3 years at school and it wasn't a an issue for the 7 years my other DS was at this school. It's an issue now.

Now they have called me in for a meeting at 3pm - I cant make it today but I'm almost certain this is what it's about.
I think someone has reported me being annoyed with them and posting asking for advice about it on Facebook.

But surely I can ask for advice and express my disappointment (the only negative word I used, I was very careful!) no names mentioned?
I need to know if I've done something wrong here.

I'm still seriously fucked off them them so I held back what I really thought and just saved that information for my husband.

AIBU?

"This is why our Head was really reluctant to let parents have class Facebook groups."

Let? As in 'allow'? I'm a head. I hate these gossip groups. I'm not arrogant enough to think I can disallow them.

Filling it all in bulk makes it look like you're faking it. Fill it in every day - as you're supposed to with a reading diary - and you won't have any issues.

Is the free time on a Friday - are they collating the weeks reading that day and therefore when you are putting it in on Saturday it is too late and therefore not marked because it relates to a week just gone.

You say you discussed it - what did they actually say?

That said some TA can be quite tricky people.

You of course can go on facebook groups but presumably the school knows because another parent mentioned it

This >

Filling it all in bulk makes it look like you're faking it. Fill it in every day - as you're supposed to with a reading diary - and you won't have any issues.

If this is affecting your child so much just fill it in every night. It's a good lesson to your child to do things there and then and not put them off.

The TA sounds like they could be clearer but ultimately just fill it in and there's not going to be any bother? It's all a bit mountain out of a molehill and you're going to get worse issues than this.

Can nobody see this is a dumb idea, counting up “reads” (what the hell are these - YANBU for using this term) for some not very exciting reward of “extra play”? Doesn’t sound like the school or the parents are coping with system. Talk about jumping through hoops! The whole point is to get children to read. Work co-operatively with your child’s teacher to get this to happen and calm the heck down.

God I will never understand why people use Facebook for stuff like this. Private group or not, it's inappropriate.

"This is why our Head was really reluctant to let parents have class Facebook groups."

Blimey how high handed. And that is probably why they are needed.

Why are schools so scared of having parents inform and support each other? Our FB group managed to get a really damaging policy changed through collective discussion. Many people had independently complained and been dismissed being told they were the only ones with a problem with it. When 30 families collectively voiced concerns they had to be considered. 99% of the time it's has anyone seen Billy's jumper and what are we supposed to be dressing up at today kind of stuff.

We have a closed parents' Facebook page, it's very useful for asking questions and exchanging information about school events. I've never seen it used negatively to gossip or moan, though.

This thread is fucking hilarious!
Thanks all

Unfortunately teachers these days do not like to put in the extra effort with students who might need the little extra help.

Oh dear!

Teachers have no choice but to put the extra effort in; and plan for it; and record it; and review the impact it's had; and demonstrate progress!

And you'll be pleased to know that it happens whether parents are supportive or negative and full of shit.

So, OP, when exactly are you going for the meeting? You know, the one you don't know is actually about this yet?

I can see it from both angles and agree it's mostly about lost pe kit etc but it just takes one person (like the OP really) to sour the crop. In my opinion, anything OTHER than lost pe kit is inappropriate.

How on earth could a head teacher prevent adults from forming a Facebook group?! Back in your box, head teacher.

We use it to say if we have a spare ticket for the Christmas nativity play, ask about what's needed for school trips etc. You can often get the answer you're looking for very quickly. Mind you, the group has clear rules as to what is and isn't appropriate.

OMFG AIBU really is full of some tediously arseholes. Honestly.

I've worked as a TA and what the TA is doing it nuts.

The point of school is to educate children not indoctrinate them into mindless systems - although many people on this thread don't seem to realise that.

OP, YANBU. I can't see any reason the TA can't mark your DS's work when she's looking back over the month.

In fact it must take more effort to think about which week the days are in, than simply tick the whole list of dates on the page.

This is petty minded bureaucracy. What's it teaching him? That adults can be dicks?

Apologies if someone’s already suggested it, but instead of writing down your comments on a whiteboard and then copying them into the reading record book at the weekend, why not write them straight into the reading record book?

That way you don't write it twice, which has to be a winner for you as you’re so pushed for time.

whatamess is v. wise

The bit I can't understand is how this could have been a mystery to you for a couple of months? It's blindingly obvious how the scoring system works from a pretty quick glance at the reading diary. I can see how you could have got caught out prior to knowing there was a problem, but subsequently?

@whatamessitallis

I think this is because according so some posters on AIBU it's always the parent who is in the wrong, who is 'that parent'. I hate that term with a passion. I personally don't spend my time worrying about what my DDs' teachers might be saying about me in the staff room, how does it affect my life?

Sometimes, obviously, parents are simply being idiots, refusing to accept that their little darling could possibly be in the wrong. But that clearly isn't the case here.

So you're not bothered about helping your child's education in a timely manner but would rather whinge about the school?

Why have children if you don't want the best for them and can't spend a couple of minutes a day for them?

OP, I'm going to speak very slowly and carefully.

You misunderstood the system. Now you know what it is.

Fill. In. The. Fucking. Record. Each. Night.

Stay. Away. From. Facebook. Forums - particularly if you're going to slag off members of staff, even if you don't specifically mention anyone by name. Pretending that you were only asking for clarification is bullshit that no one is falling for.

Oh, and my Head Teacher has a spy on every "closed" FB page in the school. Anything that breaches the school's social media policy results in a conversation with the "culprit."

I never said that, I don't whinge about the school. I've never said anything about the school on a Facebook page or to another parent. But we've definitely had to chase them up on things and fight to get our DD the support she needs, as she's adopted and has SEN.

But I wouldn't worry if we were referred to as 'those parents' as a result.

Read with your child at home, a little every night. If you child reads every night they get a reward. Schools where asking this when I was a kid, 40 years ago. Every night when your child reads just write down the name of the book and the pages they have read in a reading record. It takes literally 20 seconds.

There is always a few parents in every class who don't read with their children can't be arsed doing this, try to 'cheat' the system and bulk back fill the record. It shouldn't matter when the teacher checks the record, it should actually be random, but only the days filled in since it was last checked count.

Its a perfectly simple system for normal people.

Teachers do not count back filled info as the record is supposed to be filled in EVERY time something is read. For some reason op is trying to cheat the system. I wonder why .

I personally don't spend my time worrying about what my DDs' teachers might be saying about me in the staff room, how does it affect my life?

and that's fair enough but what parents should do is care about the education that their children get and take the time to fill in the reading record so it's done and ready for when it is checked. It takes seconds just to sign it whilst your child is reading. I get that it's sometimes hard to find the time - my child used to read to me in the car on the way home/way to school if it was a particularly busy day and I'd sign the reading record when we got to school.

There's a big difference between not being bothered about what teachers say about you in the staff room (probably not much, they've got better things to do) and not being bothered about your child's education.

For what it's worth, I don't give the reward for reading at home to children whose parents write down what they've read days in advance. So, we check the logs on Mondays, and see in a couple of cases that the following Tuesday - Friday has already been filled in!