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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think the teacher is wanting to see me about what I said on Facebook...

508 replies

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter · 12/12/2018 09:56

Do I have a leg to stand on?

One of the TA's has been disregarding my 7yo DC's hard work and he missed out on 'extra play' despite doing the work asked of him (I can go into more detail if needed).

This is reading that is done at home and written in a book for school.

The TA was counting the reads, in fact totally ignoring most of them.

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I played it over in my mind for 2 days and did not understand why they weren't counting all of my sons reads and why he was missing out. Reading doesn't come easy to him, he would rather not do it, it's a battle every day. Yet we do it, we record it, but it's not being ticked off by the TA (some is, some is ignored).

Still not understanding why 50% of it is ignored, I went on to the Facebook class page. It's a closed group of 20-30 parents. A closed and private group.

I posted a picture of his book and asked them to help me make sense of it. I don't understand??
Some other parents couldn't understand either.
I said I was really disappointed in the person who marked it. That I would mark it for them and add up his reads and do their job so they could see in black and white what work he had done. I haven't mentioned any names. It's happened to other kids too and they are missing out on 'extra play' as well despite doing the hard work.

DS has been in tears about this several times.

It wasn't an issue for the first 3 years at school and it wasn't a an issue for the 7 years my other DS was at this school. It's an issue now.

Now they have called me in for a meeting at 3pm - I cant make it today but I'm almost certain this is what it's about.
I think someone has reported me being annoyed with them and posting asking for advice about it on Facebook.

But surely I can ask for advice and express my disappointment (the only negative word I used, I was very careful!) no names mentioned?
I need to know if I've done something wrong here.

I'm still seriously fucked off them them so I held back what I really thought and just saved that information for my husband.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Worriedmummybekind · 12/12/2018 13:48

Some fb class pages are set up by and and monitored by school. So it would depend on the nature of it.

JemSynergy · 12/12/2018 13:49

I wouldn't attend any meeting unless I knew what is was about? Did you not ask when they asked to see you?

My children's school has a closed parents fb page, but there are a few teachers on there, I discovered this upon looking through the members. I suggest you have a look through yours. Some parents will also take delight in taking a screen shot of comments and emailing them to the school.

My child (year 4) has to read 4 times a week and if she doesn't (or if I forget to sign her reading record book) she gets a break time detention. I usually just sign the book for the sake of signing it because realistically my daughter sometimes prefers just to read to herself without me. I have in the past forgotten to sign it and she's ended up with a detention even when she's read! I really don't agree with the system our school has in place!

DeepanKrispanEven · 12/12/2018 13:55

OP, I still don't understand why it's easier for you to write the reading sessions down on a whiteboard and then write it into your child's book, rather than just writing it down into the book whilst he's reading (or just afterwards) every day?

TeaStory · 12/12/2018 13:56

Data protection doesn’t apply. A group of parents discussing school stuff in a group is classed as ‘personal’ interactions and doesn’t come under GDPR/DPA remit.

And if the group is set up and run by the school staff then data protection still doesn’t apply because you’ve posted a school thing on a school page so you’ve willingly handed over stuff anyway. Not that moaning about school staff is processing personal data anyway.

Missingmysanity · 12/12/2018 14:06

I think I lost the plot with this post....instead of going through the hassle of a facebook post, a MN post and endless responses trying to explain yourself just add a few seconds of your time to write it in the book, as another person said if the book is not there write it on a piece of paper and take it in to school.

It is obvious from the many posts trying to help you understand that this is counted for the ACTUAL week at the end of the week on a Friday. Now you know that they do not count retrospectively for ALL children you need to find the time to make sure that your childs is counted.

There are many things you can leave until the weekend but this is just seconds of your time. I would be going to the meeting with my tail between my legs.

Feefeetrixabelle · 12/12/2018 14:12

The TA sounds like a jobsworth to be honest. What does it matter when it filled in as long as the child doesn’t miss out on a reward for completing it. Not sure she’s suitable to work in education if she’s prepared to demoralise a small child.

Charmlight · 12/12/2018 14:12

So they’re totting up for the preceding week on a Thursday. Reading episodes are logged at weekend, so only the previous Thurs, then Fri/Sat/Sun are on?
Then at the end of the month, the weeklies are added up?
To benefit from the extra play, the TA would have to look at the reading record as a whole at the end of the month?
Have I understood correctly TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter?

willitbe · 12/12/2018 14:15

Hold on - you have been called into a meeting, but it might not be about this at all..... you are just assuming this is it.

In regards to this issue, you have not only published it on a closed facebook page, but now on an open public forum. You haven't identified anyone, but you clearly should be raising this issue with the school directly not online with the world!

Usernumbers1234 · 12/12/2018 14:17

@user1457017537

Please tell us why someone quoting what OP put on Facebook to the school represents a breach of data protection

What the hell are you on about, it’s got nothing to do with the school, they didn’t access the site they are just responding to a report from another parent who mentioned that OP was being a dick on facebook.

SassitudeandSparkle · 12/12/2018 14:19

Firstly, as has been pointed out many times, if you wrote it down daily then it wouldn't matter what day the TA checked the reading diary - it would all be there and counted.

Secondly, if you post it in a class group on FB then of course everyone knows the TA involved and you don't have a leg to stand on there - it is obvious what you were trying to do. Don't try and weasel out of it as you'll look a prat if you say anything else!

Woooman · 12/12/2018 14:19

Ok...scenario 1...if it's a monthly reward then this system is ridiculous and you're right in being angry about your dc's "reads" not being counted. However, YABU to discuss this on fb. It's very easy for a query on fb to turn into a witch hunt and become very personal as parent after parent piles onto the member of staff over some minor slight. I've seen this happen many times over the years and it's a very hurtful and upsetting experience for the member of staff, particularly when the situation that started it was tiny but by the end of the post parents are bringing up all sorts of dirt relating to the staff members private life or incidents that happened donkey's years ago.

Scenario 2...if the reward is a weekly thing then YABU as the "reads" for that week would only count for that week. Just fill it in on the day you're supposed to and then crisis averted. You are also, again, unfair to mention this on fb.

The school I worked at had a better system to count all the reading done each week regardless of when the reading record was filled in. My dd's school also have a better system than this. The School Abu to not explain the system properly to the parents.

dippledorus · 12/12/2018 14:33

under the impression the contents would be confidential, under GDPR

That is not what the GDPR is for and a class facebook group is not under GDPR anyway - it's personal use.

FFS people need to stop using GDPR for fucking everything and throwing it around like a pair of granny knickers that they want to cover everything they don't want seen.

ReadMyLipss · 12/12/2018 14:41

Again, they STILL have never told me that I need to write them down on the Thursday this is my assumption

You're being deliberately obtuse here.

The OBVIOUS assumption is that parents write it down each day as they do it. If that's done, then what day the marking is done becomes irrelevant.

crimsonlake · 12/12/2018 14:44

You have already answered your own question, you know why they are not being counted, you do not fill in the reading as you go along. The reading diary should be in his book bag every night unless he is not putting it back in if he has read with an adult at school. The reading record needs to be filled in as you go along and if you pick your child up from school check that it is in his book bag as he comes out of school.
As for the meeting, the teacher is probably worried about what you will say. If she is backed up with the Head make sure you speak up for yourself and do not attempt to allow them to speak down to you.

myhamsteratefreddiestarr · 12/12/2018 14:49

OP, it seems clear to most of us that it sounds like you are completing the entries after that week has been marked, so no good completing Mon-Fri on Saturday if it is checked on Thursday. You can't expect them to have a whole different system just for you.

However, you should have asked for a meeting with the teacher about this, to clarify the situation rather than talk about it on a class FB page.

When DD was marked down for not recording it daily (kept forgetting to bring her book home), I asked for a meeting and the HT told the teacher to take it as read that DD was reading every day, as it was well known that she was an avid reader. (This particular teacher was not very nice and only lasted one year).

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/12/2018 14:55

I’m shocked at these reward schemes and lunchtime detentions for yr4s. Dd is a good reader but goes through fits and starts with reading. Her teacher in yr3 for example was very much let her have a break and not put her off. Now she’s in yr6 i got the teacher to have a word about the importance of reading as we’ve been struggling again for the last 6 months to get dd to read. She’s a very active child and isn’t into sedentary activities. Since the chat she’s devoured books.

yorkshirecountrylass · 12/12/2018 14:57

You brought it up, she tried to explain, you didn't understand the explanation. Fine. Ask again, tell her you don't follow what she means, ask if one of the other teachers could explain (sometimes you understand things from a different person, it's just communication styles!). But posting on FB whether private or not isn't really the right approach and if I was the TA I'd be pretty annoyed too!

ohreallyohreallyoh · 12/12/2018 15:00

Unfortunately teachers these days do not like to put in the extra effort with students who might need the little extra help

Sigh. You speak on behalf of the thousands of teachers in this country, then?

CSIblonde · 12/12/2018 15:03

As an ex Teacher I think you should have gone straight to the class teacher. Putting it on social media of any kind isn't going to end well. Now, it's blown up into a bigger thing re privacy & confidentiality etc.

MissEliza · 12/12/2018 15:03

Teachers these days don't like to put the extra effort in Rubbish. I'm actually amazed at the dedication of the teachers I've worked with as a TA and those who teach my dcs. Hand on heart.

Lizzie48 · 12/12/2018 15:07

While it's true that the OP appears to be deliberately obtuse over the diary issue, I'm very troubled by the idea of a 7 year old missing out on a play time because the diary hasn't been filled in properly. Play time shouldn't be based at all on what a child has or hasn't done at home, and I can understand why the OP is upset about that.

Some posters on here have been ridiculously aggressive towards the OP, there was absolutely no need for that at all. Why anyone dares to post a thread in any way critical of teachers or TAs I can never work out, as they never end well.

titchy · 12/12/2018 15:17

7 year old missing out on a play time because the diary hasn't been filled in properly.

I thought it had been established that said 7 year old wasn't missing any normal playtime at all. He just wasn't getting the extra reward one.

ConcreteUnderpants · 12/12/2018 15:19

The TA sounds like a jobsworth to be honest. Not sure she’s suitable to work in education if she’s prepared to demoralise a small child.

Or FeeFee the OP could.do what every other parents in the class does and fill the book in on time. Not.rocket science.

Lizzie48 · 12/12/2018 15:52

I thought it had been established that said 7 year old wasn't missing any normal playtime at all. He just wasn't getting the extra reward one.

True, but a 7 year old will see that as missing out when his friends go out to play and he doesn't, he won't get the difference. I don't think that's right at all.

Aquilla · 12/12/2018 15:58

This is why our Head was really reluctant to let parents have class Facebook groups. People slagging off the school basically along with a healthy dose of gossip and misinformation.
Despite this, you haven't technically done anything 'wrong'. We still (just about) have free speech. Sod them, but just know it's not really cricket.