To not want strangers staying over in my house

[hoopyloopy2]

DH has invited his old friend & his new partner over to ours between Christmas & New Year. New partner’s teenager is coming too, who we haven’t met. All good with me so far. But DH wants them to stay the night. We don’t have a spare bedroom so this will involve sofa bed + moving one of my 2 dcs out of their rooms. The old friend lives 40 minutes away, so I don’t see why we can’t have a nice time for a few hours without the staying over part. I know it means a lot to DH to spend quality time with his friend. But I don’t want people I don’t know staying in my house and the awkwardness of shuffling people around. I’m not someone who never has anyone to stay, we have family and occasional very close friends overnight a few times a year. But this feels different and I think in our mid 40s we are past that stage of people bunking in together after a boozy night....but DH thinks I am being anti-social & uptight. AIBU?

I would not hang about in my dressing gown with anyone there except DP.

In our house whoever issues the invitation is responsible for hosting, and all the admin that goes with it. That means changing beds (before and after), all catering and entertaining. Your DH arranged this, so it’s now up to him to make the arrangements, with you in a supporting role. Once he appreciates just what’s involved, he might be less inclined to repeat the experience.

I can see that a boozy evening with an old friend might be spoilt by having to break up the party and go home. And it’s not like this is a regular thing. But as they are bringing a teen with them this doesn’t seem to be in the cards. My worry would be that he is expecting you to entertain the dp and teen while he slopes off with his mate, and that would not be on.

I wouldn't want to be hanging around in my dressing gown, bedhead hair etc in front of people I barely knew.

Me either. So on that one day of my life, I would put clothes on and brush my hair before going downstairs.

SO DIFFICULT!

Me either. So on that one day of my life, I would put clothes on and brush my hair before going downstairs.

SO DIFFICULT!

I know right?

On the flipside I'd be really annoyed if I felt like my DH wouldn't "allow" me have a friend and her family stay for night on a very odd occasion.

I agree on the inhospitable bit. Aren't you doing it for your husband? I do things like this and my DH does the same in return. He'll come and pick me up from some random night after a few drinks, I'll do the same for him. We've just had his DSis staying (total ordeal, she never stops talking for 2 seconds) but I do it for him. Ditto.

I would not expect someone to spend £££ to catch a taxi home. Nor would I worry about bed hair and a teenager... like they care!

Bottom line is... I suppose this family have to ring the doorbell to come in, which is a crime of the century in MN world, so I'd just not answer it

I wouldn't want to be hanging around in my dressing gown, bedhead hair etc in front of people I barely knew.

Then don't? Just get changed in the bedroom and brush your hair/teeth before coming downstairs!

I’m off to chill

"Then don't? Just get changed in the bedroom and brush your hair/teeth before coming downstairs!"

Well that's the point isn't it? You've had a late night, several drinks and just want a lie in and a relaxing morning. But instead you've got to get up, shower, get dressed and then look after guests you don't know very well.

Different if it's close friends or family who will get up and stick the kettle on themselves and who you don't care what you look like in front of.

It's overnight not a week. Tell them to bring a sleeping bag and the teen can bunk down on the living room floor. Honestly you're making a bigger deal out of it than necessary. Suck it up, OP.

"Well that's the point isn't it? You've had a late night, several drinks and just want a lie in and a relaxing morning. But instead you've got to get up, shower, get dressed and then look after guests you don't know very well.

Different if it's close friends or family who will get up and stick the kettle on themselves and who you don't care what you look like in front of"

12 years living in this country and I finally understand Brexit

MN is a bizarrely anti social place, they are not strangers they are your husband's guests. You don't have to move your DC put their teen on a blow up bed.

12 years living in this country and I finally understand Brexit

I'm not from, and don't live in, the UK camaleon

"12 years living in this country and I finally understand Brexit"

Maybe after another twelve years you'll have learnt some manners.

"I'm not from, and don't live in, the UK camaleon"
You may live in a place where populist movements don't thrive, but you still made me understand Brexit.

Maybe after another twelve years you'll have learnt some manners.

That's such a logical post 'camaleon*

How does someone not relishing the thought of having to entertain overnight guests after a late night and several drinks equate to a Brexiteer.

Your post makes absolutely no sense Camaleon.

"Maybe after another twelve years you'll have learnt some manners."
Maybe... a new aspiration: to politely discard guests at home I don't know very well -so I feel more at home. Proper manners.

You're still not making a lot of sense, to be honest. How is someone saying they'd rather not have people they don't know very well staying overnight when they come around for dinner equivalent to a bigoted or ignorant person voting for Brexit? (Not saying everyone who voted that way was bigoted or ignorant}.

"How does someone not relishing the thought of having to entertain overnight guests after a late night and several drinks equate to a Brexiteer.

Your post makes absolutely no sense Camaleon."
To be honest, I didn't think my response too much before typing, but the many presumptions (drinking too much stands out) used here to explain the rationale of friends for staying, triggered my reaction. I would just assume everybody wants to spend the evening with friends without checking the clock or worrying about who uses the kettle in the morning.

You may not like people staying at yours. Human beings (mammal in general) are very territorial. I still don't get the explanations.

Well that's the point isn't it? You've had a late night, several drinks and just want a lie in and a relaxing morning. But instead you've got to get up, shower, get dressed and then look after guests you don't know very well.

But it's one day! It's not like they're staying for a week or even a weekend. Surely it's not that hard to get up and make an effort for a few hours to make your husband happy?

I'm with camaleon it's a peculiarly isolationist mindset to make such a fuss about an overnight stay, flex your hospitality muscle a little more than you normally would, it won't kill you. What's the worst that can happen? You'll be bed-heady, they'll be bed-heady, you have to get up a bit earlier than you would and make the nice when you're a bit hungover. Hardly a blip on the comfort Richter scale. After a day together and a few drinks you won't be strangers any more will you? Point them towards the kettle, tell them to feel free to help themselves when they wake up and get over yourself.

Nope, wouldn't like that. It wouldn't kill one or both of them to stop drinking early enough in the evening so that they can drive the family back home.

I'd let the husband take care of all the sleeping arrangement preparations and morning hosting duties, since it was his idea to have them stay the night. (Well, in theory I would, but in practice, maybe not so easy...)