Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not pay for lesson

258 replies

Tunsey · 11/12/2018 15:01

My DS goes to music lessons each week. He really enjoys it and he likes his tutor. The tutor runs a private business and asks for notice if we’re unable to attend (fair enough). So, when we’ve had school trips or holidays we’ve always given him at leat two weeks notice that DS won’t be attending.

However on two separate occasions we missed the lesson because of a traffic accident and bad traffic. So I called to let him know, apologising but obviously letting the tutor know that circumstances are out of our control. On both occasions he’s been rather rude saying we don’t value his time. On the second occasion he said that we’d need to pay for the lesson we’ve missed.

I don’t think that right because a) he’s never stated this before; b) my DS has been having lessons for over 18 months; and c) we can’t control traffic.

Am I being unreasonable- should I pay for the missed lesson?

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/12/2018 19:11

You bought his time, it was available to you, you have to pay for it. He couldn’t have magicked up a replacement child to fill that slot and pay his mortgage.

Amaried · 12/12/2018 19:17

Of course you should pay him. Honestly some people are just bonkers.

Chewbecca · 12/12/2018 19:22

If you bought a theatre ticket and got stuck in traffic, would you expect not to pay? No, your seat is still there, you're just not sitting in it.
It is exactly the same.

dwab45 · 12/12/2018 19:22

It’s a business not a sloppy favour for a mate.

Nousernamefound · 12/12/2018 19:32

If I can’t make a lesson I always offer to pay at the very least.

ComeOnComeOnComeOnGetThroughIt · 12/12/2018 19:46

OP has discovered she was in the wrong and is now wrangling with the horrible horrible truth in private. She won’t be back. She’s too busy trying to think of other people to blame.

greenlanes · 12/12/2018 19:54

I have read some of the thread but wow OP - your attitude is so disgusting. I am almost wondering if this is a reverse. But agree with BadMoodBoard's thoughts. I think spectacularly entitled.

1980stat · 12/12/2018 20:05

Our eldest had music lessons for almost eight years, and the terms were the same - you are paying for the teachers time, not for your child's attendance. However, in eight years travelling to lessons six or seven very urban miles away, often at peak times, I cannot recall a time when we were so late that we missed the lesson. Yes, we occasionally missed the start as traffic can be unpredictable even when you allow contingency time. We never missed the end though. That really takes some doing.

manicmij · 12/12/2018 20:06

Sorry but you should pay. You have used the tutors time which along with his expertise you are buying.

Tinyteatime · 12/12/2018 20:12

Blimey. My dd does two activities per week and we are just billed for the term whether we make it or not, don’t all extra curricular things work like this? I’m amazed he lets you not pay for missed lessons with notice tbh. Of course you should pay.

dippledorus · 12/12/2018 20:14

Of course you should pay. Ffs.

Puzzledbythis1 · 12/12/2018 20:16

Why would you being stuck in traffic mean that it's okay for him to lose his earnings but you shouldn't lose out? You don't even suggest paying HALF you just outrightly state you don't think you should pay...that's awful.

HavelockVetinari · 12/12/2018 20:22

Oh I love these threads! I can't quite decide whether the OP is a wind-up merchant or just spectacularly in the wrong. Either way it's a very entertaining thread, I give it 7/10.

CaliHummers · 12/12/2018 20:22

Traffic unavoidable - school pick up! [...] Whilst it’s not his fault it isn’t mine either.

It's easy to predict that traffic will be worse in most areas between 3pm and 4pm due to schools. And do bear in mind that you're not in the traffic - you are the traffic. The tutor saying you don't respect his time is his coded warning that you may need to find yourself a new tutor if you can't get your child to lessons on time.

cheval · 12/12/2018 20:23

Yes you need to pay. If tutor didn’t turn up because of traffic, you’d be fuming. And then you wouldn’t pay...They have bills to pay and maybe could have got another student in for that slot. Being freelance is hard, too many people take the peepie.

Rach000 · 12/12/2018 20:25

You sound like a right twat. You should pay if you miss it. Especially the second time.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/12/2018 20:27

@Tunsey - it is utterly unacceptable to dock the teacher’s pay for something that was NOT her fault!

ohreallyohreallyoh · 12/12/2018 20:32

I tutor but am not reliant on the income. I demand payment if sessions are missed. I don’t have a cancellation policy because I can’t fill a space for one lesson, even if given 2 weeks notice. I do give credit as it were when long term students get sick or something happens that means they unavoidably have to miss a lesson but I do that at my discretion and only with students who rarely miss and who cause me no other issues. I currently have a waiting list.

busyhonestchildcarer · 12/12/2018 20:42

So glad to see the answers on this.When I childminded it always amazed me that didnt want to pay if their children were sick or if they went on holiday. When you run a business you offer a service like this where people book a regular place.It needs paying for!

MissCharleyP · 12/12/2018 20:45

Haven’t RTFT but I think there have been some harsh responses. I go to a martial arts class twice a week, which I’ve paid for upfront (I can choose which days as they are five days a week at varying times). It’s 4 miles from my house, today it took me 45 minutes to get there, I was at the front of the queue at one set of traffic lights at a crossroads and had to sit there through three changes of lights before I could go through as nothing was moving on the other side and I’d have blocked the road and/or caused an accident. It took me longer to get there than to my hairdresser this morning (nearly 30 miles away). As I know what it’s like I leave an hour or so before it starts, but in the OPs situation this might not be possible (pick up 3:20, lesson 3:45 maybe) and is frankly, ridiculous for such a short journey.

OP, I’d try to move the lesson to a later time. I would pay the tutor however and see if they can accommodate a different time.

EarlGreyT · 12/12/2018 20:46

YABVVU.

Ha ha to I can’t manage the school run! Of course I can. But I can’t control traffic.

Well the answer to that is that you book a lesson which allows you adequate time to get to it around the confines of the school run with its more than predictable traffic problems, not try to squirm out of paying for a lesson you’re late for (which despite all your excuses it’s still your fault you’re late).

Jenny17 · 12/12/2018 20:49

Businesses should have t's and c's and communicate them so it's know what is expected and can be pursued through courts for unpaid debts if necessary.

Unless the expectation has been communicated and agreed you are relying on goodwill for payment.

Act professional and people will respond accordingly.

Jojofjo44 · 12/12/2018 20:59

Yes yabvvu.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 12/12/2018 21:01

YABU. Pay for lesson. It’s too short notice for him to arrange for another pupil for that time slot. It’s his business, not a charity.

peachypetite · 12/12/2018 21:06

You need to pay.